first day of school.

i know, i know.  i realize it's the end of september, so i'm a little late on the "back to school" post.  but, better late than never, right?

my baby started school.

i was pretty much an emotional basketcase the week before i dressed my little girl up and watched her bravely walk into her classroom, without a care in the world.  i cried every day.  i'm not even kidding.  it just hurt.  watching my babies grow up before my very eyes and knowing that i'll never get these seasons back just pains my heart.  most days.  somedays these years seem so hard.  but then i start thinking about my season as a stay at home mama to bella being over next year and my heart breaks into a million pieces.

as any mama can understand, i still picture my sweet girl as the crazy haired, chubby cheeked little girl that used to fall asleep on my chest and cuddle with me all day long.  those days seem like a lifetime ago, and yet sometimes i feel like i blinked and here we are.

now, that tiny little bundle with hair as wild as her spirit has grown into a beautiful four year old pre-k student with a heart bigger than the state she was born in (texas... so, that's pretty big...).  armed with her doc mcstuffins backback and frozen lunchbox, she couldn't wait to start her very first day of school.  our girl is ALL ABOUT friends, and she comes home excitedly chattering away each and every day about getting to spend three days a week with her friends.  every day she informs us if it's someone's birthday in her class, and then we spend part of our before dinner prayer with bella praying for the student who had a birthday and asking that jesus will help he/she turn four or five, or whatever age they're turning.  she loves learning and has been keeping a notebook here at home that she's been filling with artwork and using to practice her new letters she's learning.  it's adorable.

and the very best part?  her daddy works at her new school.  and she thinks that is just about the coolest thing in the whole wide world (and so do i).  as i was putting her in the car for her very first day, she excitedly said "mama!  i can't wait to tell all my new friends that my daddy works at our school!  they will be SO excited!" we really are so very grateful.

just watching her excitement has eased my mama heart just a little.  because as much as i may want to, i can't keep her little forever.  she is blossoming and flourishing before my very eyes.  and isn't that what this parenthood thing is all about?

letting go has never been my strong suit.  and jesus is kindly and ever so patiently teaching me what it means to let go of my children.  every.single.day.  they are not mine; they are his.  which i am really so thankful for... what a blessing it is to trust that he will fill in all of the gaps that my humanness leaves.  he will make up for all that i lack.

which is a whole lot.

this whole first day of school thing has been a big step for this mama.  in the letting-go-journey.  in the sitting-back and-watching-jesus-shape-my-baby-journey.  in getting to observe her from a different angle and i'm swelling with pride.  my bella girl is pretty special.  and i am so thankful to the lord for choosing me to be her mama.

it's okay.

her brown curls frame her pink cheeks, eyelashes splayed in slumber.  the weight of her body rests on my chest, and i hear the creak of the rocking chair that has held me and both of my babies in these quiet moments.  they say not to move a sleeping baby, but i pay no attention to that rule.  because i love to hold my girls while they're sleeping.  stealing any chance to hold them still against my heart, kiss their cheeks and brush their foreheads gently.  it's the perfect ending to days that are filled with sweeping up crumbs, kissing hurt fingers and bumped knees.  yelling out reminders of rules and breaking up sister squabbles.  it all melts into the silent peace that is rocking my sleeping child and memorizing their features, their breaths...this moment.

i lay her back down in her crib, heart full, and her eyes flutter for a moment and then open to gaze into mine.  thumb in mouth, she softly moves her other fingers in a wave to me, as she turns and drifts back to sleep.  sweetest thing ever.  that little wave.

i tiptoe out of her room and slide into my bed under a pile of covers and thank Jesus for moments like these.  moments that make a week full of tears and frustration worth it.  moments that remind me this is a season of such a mix of emotions.

and it's okay.

the stomach bug swept through our house last week and i was the only one left standing.  by the time nick was sick, i was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  the one lost in endless laundry, multiple bed changes, catching throw up in any possible way i could to keep it from getting on pajamas, blankies or dolls.  by sunday morning i couldn't stop the endless flow of tears from pouring out.

pure exhaustion seeping out everywhere.  grief that cripples me at times.  it's been two and a half years and i still miss my dad so much it's hard for me to catch my breath sometimes.  it's an agonizing pain that feels as though i will crush under the weight of it.  the hurt is inexplicable--even to myself--but i try to get the words out so i'm not bottling them up inside.  in between sips of coffee and shoulders heaving, i manage a few sentences to my patient husband, listening gently.

my sweet girls crawl up in my lap.  arms looped around my neck.  big, brown eyes looking up at my tear filled ones.  "mama, why are you sad?" and "ok, mum-mum?" with looks of genuine concern.  and it breaks my heart.

it breaks my heart because i feel guilty.  guilty that i'm crying because of a week of caring for the ones i love most.  guilty that i have seasons of such pain and brokenness from missing my dad that i may be lacking something as their mom.  fear that i don't always have enough to give to them.  worry that it won't get easier.  complete and utter sadness that my sweet girls have missed out on so much without their bampy, who was just itching to make so many memories with them.  the list goes on and on and on...

i'm realizing how much i try to do on my own.  how often i don't rely on the One whose strength and power is of endless supply.  and just how much i need Him and all He has for me... as a wife, a mama, a daughter, a sister, a friend...

i'm also realizing how much god uses my girls to bless my heart.  he reminds me that he works in their lives in spite of their flawed and imperfect mama; that their well being does not rest entirely on my shoulders.  that he can use my broken, tear filled moments.  and just when i feel as though i'm falling short of pouring into my babies, i hear her voice--tiny and sweet--singing those precious words; words that bring such a sense of calm to my guilt-ridden mama heart: "oh how i yuv jesus!  oh how i yuv jesus because he first yuved meee!"  my almost two year old, singing out from her crib. 

god working in my children, in spite of their tired, broken, selfish, completely imperfect mama.

this season of life is hard.  there are moments every day where i feel like i am failing.  where my house is a mess, laundry is never caught up and my kids watch way more television than i want them to watch in a day.  but i'm learning: it's okay.  that's the beauty of my Jesus: He gives what i cannot give and supplies for my children in ways far greater than i ever could in my limited humanity.  He is the one that never changes and is my rock in the times where i feel as though i am sinking.

"my hope is built on nothing less
thank Jesus' blood and righteousness
i dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly trust in Jesus' name

when darkness seems to hide his face

i rest in his unchanging grace

in every high and stormy gale

my anchor holds within the veil.

Christ alone, cornerstone
weak made strong in the Savior's love
through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all"

when i'm an older mom...

{source}

my kids are always a little crazy.  by nature, they are active and silly and strong willed and love to dance.  on my impatient days, it makes me want to poke my eyes out.  but on my good days, i love it.  no, it's not easy.  but i'm thankful that they are just what they're meant to be... kids.

these days, they are particularly nuts.  i mean, every mama of littles in the month of december deserves a trophy or something.  or a trip to the spa.  or just a really, really long nap.  because wow... their normal bouncing-of-the-wallness quadruples during this month.  i've found myself praying for an extra measure of patience and grace because... their extra energy and excitement is hard to take at times, but watching my girls at christmastime; well, there's just nothing like it.

today, we met up with some of our good friends for lunch at our favorite place, the bagel shop downtown.  the kids were all extra excited to see each other, and us mamas were getting together for one last time, as one of our dear friends is moving away.  we sat, making our best attempt to carry on a conversation while our kids ate their bagels and we tried to wipe smeared cream cheese from their faces and fingers.  it didn't take long for them to be finished, and they were getting... well... even more excited...

they began to dance and sing (a little loudly) and chase each other in a circle.  they giggled and they got a little louder, and they listened as we scooched down to tell them they needed to be a bit more quiet.  and then, it was time to go and there were tantrums and spilled water and tears and flailing... and embarrassed moms, and bottom lips bitten and flushed cheeks.  and after we got them bundled up and wrestled them to the door, an older lady stopped us and offered an unwelcomed suggestion: "maybe next time you should bring crayons."

and the exhausted and flustered mamas were now just annoyed, defeated and discouraged.  alright, lady: do you remember what it was like wrangling your kids to the door to get ready for an outing?  and on a -11 degree day?  there are jackets, there are mittens and hats and boots... and then your own jacket, mittens and boots... and the check to bring to the bank, and the letter to mail at the post office, and the shopping list to bring to the store... no time to even think about bringing crayons.  goodness, it's a success story that i'm even leaving the house at all.

moments like this make me think how hard it is to be a young mom.  we've all been offered unwelcomed suggestions from complete strangers and it can get downright discouraging.  it's also made me consider how i can encourage young moms when i'm in a later season of life.  because isn't that what we should be doing for each other?

i've also been on the other side of this.  when older moms have encouraged me, it has meant the world. after all, they know more than anyone what this thing called motherhood is like.  when they show interest in my children and geniunely enjoy them.  when they help me when i'm sick, or when they leave an unexpected treat at my doorstep.  when they take my girls to do something not only so that i can have a second to breathe, but also because they love my babies.  now that is a blessing.

and so i vow to myself that when i'm an older mom, and my kids have grown... i will remember what it's like to be in charge of tiny, independent, excitable, full of energy little ones.  i will think how i can help; maybe i can be the one to wipe up the spilled water.  maybe open a door, or let a mom of little ones have my place in line.  i will try to pay attention to see who might need some extra help, some encouragement, a bright spot in their day.  i will be patient with their children and treat them as blessings, not as annoyances.  and i will approach mamas in public--not to give them advice or to state my opinion--but to merely say "hang in there, mama; you're doing a good job."

because us mamas need to hear that more often.  it's the hardest job we'll ever have.

days of gratitude: {4} my daughters.

i have always known in my heart that i was meant to be a mama.

although i grew up dreaming of having my own family someday, i could have never prepared myself for what it would be like to be the mom of two of the most precious girls.

my daughters are my world, and being their mama has changed my life.  i may get frustrated, impatient or lose my cool on a daily basis, but my eyes fill with happy tears and my heart melts into a puddle just as much; if not more.  and those moments make the hard ones more than worth it.  the hardest job, being a parent is.  but the toughest roles heed the greatest blessings.

and oh, how they bless me.  on a daily basis.

i'll never forget when nick&i first started talking about and praying through starting to add to our family.  there were so many things we feared and that made us anxious.  but we could have never even imagined the ways our hearts would burst with love for these little ones, our daughters.  i'll never forget when they were placed in our arms for the first time, how we cried.  it was then that we knew our lives would never be the same.

i'm so thankful for their personalities, and how different they are.  my bella, my little sweetheart.  strong willed and dramatic, and ever so kind and tender.  she tugs at my heart every single day with her affectionate hugs and kisses and sweet words.  my emmy, my little sunshine.  naughty and impish, and ever so funny and full of joy.  she makes me laugh all the time and brings such cheer every where she goes with her sweet smile and jovial spirit.  when i watch them play, i can't help but smile.  when i watch them with others, i can't help but be proud.  they have their daddy's kind eyes, sweet spirit and his smile that lights up any room.  i absolutely love seeing how god has woven our qualities together in our girls.  they are such extensions of who we are... in both good ways and bad.  and through all the imperfections we love each other no matter what.

oh, how i love these girls.

from rocking them before bed to caring for them when they're sick... from watching them experience life with wide eyed wonder to drying their tears as my own heart breaks... from the pitter patter of their footsteps down the hall to their kisses and contagious laughter... and everywhere in between...

i'm so grateful for this journey with my daughters.
so thankful for these little ones who light up my life.
can't think of a greater honor than to be chosen as their mama.

it won't be like this for long.

rain is tapping on my windows as i sit, cozy and wrapped in a blanket on my couch.  my house is quiet.

can you believe it?  yes, quiet.

the girls are still sleeping, and i take this rare opportunity to relish the silence and pray, asking god to fill my heart with all that i need for this day.

raising two toddlers is not for the faint of heart.  and lately, my house has been ravaged by the chaos that is a one and a three year old in cahoots with one another, in a plan to overtake us all.  as a person that likes things nice and neat, i've had to learn to live with the toys that are constantly strewn all over our living room and kitchen.  pillows that are thrown off of every surface and shoes, bags and purses that are carried throughout the house by little hands that love to put things in places i will never find them (thanks, emmy).

bella loves to sneak emmy in the bathroom while she's on the potty, allowing her to have full access to our cupboard and toilet paper... and within minutes i'm chasing her from room to room as she shoves all of our toothbrushes into her mouth and shrieks from naughty laughter.

my girls are so so sweet...and they are also so so mischievous.

lately i have felt as though they are in a plot to drive me insane.  i want to throw up my white flag and say "fine!  the house is yours!  the mortgage is due on the fifteenth of every month!" and walk out the door.

just kidding.

but seriously.  it's been exhausting.  on the upside: at least they're getting along.

in the midst of this insanity, nick&i constantly remind ourselves that it won't be like this for long.  it's the free therapy we give each other... but it's also a continual, sobering reminder that we will miss these sweet days, as crazy and harried as they may be.

the past week, social media has been bursting with back to school photos of everyone's children.  and the common theme: "where did time go?" say the mamas.  it passes all too quickly.

there are more important things--much more important things--than having my house clean, or keeping emmy out of the toothbrushes (although that's the goal).  i try to take many moments to sit with the girls, or to simply watch them play when i feel as though i should be doing the dishes or folding the laundry.  why?  because it won't be like this for long.

so here's to hoping that i'll remember all of this when i want to pull all my hair out today (because most likely that will happen at some point).  that i'll hold my babies close and whisper prayers of thanks, even if i find a whole roll of toilet paper bunched into a wad on the bathroom floor.

mamas, you know what i'm talking about.

let's make today a good day.  and just in case we need a reminder, give this song a listen.  and try--just try--not to cry.

happy year of life, emmy faith.

on friday, our sweet emmy faith turned *one*.  birthdays are super nostalgic for me (surprise, surprise, eh?)  especially first birthdays.  i reflect all day long on what was happening a year ago that day... although labor/delivery has scared me each time i've done it, and it's pretty painful, i also honestly love it.  there is nothing in life quite like child birth, and i could easily just keep having more babies because i love those sweet moments--hard and painful as they are--so much.  i remember leaving the hospital after emmy was born and being so sad that the whole experience was over.

a year ago, i waited in a sunny hospital room overlooking the river, enjoying the company of my husband, mom and sister.  we talked and visited as the hours ticked by... i remember thinking i could tell i was excited because i was exceptionally chatty and smiley that afternoon (after i got over my initial nausea from being sick the night before).  as nervous as i was to give birth, i just was so overjoyed and ready to meet my sweet girl.  she was such a mystery to me; a face i didn't yet know, cheeks i hadn't yet kissed, a little personality i hadn't yet encountered.  when i had bella, i had no idea what i was in for.  i could never have imagined how amazing of an experience it was; holding her and seeing her for the first time.  this time around, i knew.  and yet, i still wondered: would it be just as sweet?

i will never forget how the hours passed, and all of a sudden i could tell: i was about to be a mama for the second time.  i told the nurse i was feeling the urge to push and the flurry began.  i was fully dilated; pushed three times and out came our sweet little girl.  everything happened so quickly it was like a flash before my eyes; and there she was... tiny, beautiful, perfect.  she was ours.  my much anticipated little sweetheart; the one whose movements and flutters calmed me when my world was crashing down... the one whose tiny little kicks as i sang with my dad by his hospital bed made me know she was there... the one who was my calm, my hope, my sunshine through the darkest storms of my life.  such a sweet moment holding her for the very first time.  so many tears... of joy, of gratefulness, of just what she meant to me.

happy first birthday, emmy faith!  i will never forget the day we first met.  this year has been so sweet; you have completed our family.  you bring such laughter into our home; daddy and i love you more than we could ever say!  we have loved watching your little personality blossom.  you are spunky yet sensitive, funny yet sweet, quirky and oh-so-beautiful.  i pray over your sweet little head every night; that you would grow to love jesus and chase after him with your whole heart; that he would guide every decision you make, every step you choose to walk.  i pray that he would use your sweet little heart to love others well, and your sense of humor and laughter to bring light everywhere you go!  this world can be so dark, little girl, but you can truly be the light and joy that gives others hope.  you can make a difference for good; and i know you will!  so blessed to be your parents, sweet girl.  we promise to love you no matter what, be faithful in praying for you, and dedicated to helping you grow into a godly, beautiful young lady.  we are so very excited to see what god has in store for you, emmy faith!

"in his heart a man plans his course, but the lord determines his steps." (proverbs 16:9)

"a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (proverbs 17:22)

love you sweet girl,
mama&daddy

when parenting is hard.

{source}

what.a.week.

i have this friend in dallas who grew up in the deep south; a beautiful, southern belle.  whenever she is surprised or shocked by something she'll say "lawsy!" in her southern accent.  i always have loved it; being a new england girl, her saying made me giggle.  and as i lay my head on my pillow tonight after finally tucking my wee ones into their beds and exhaling whatever weary breath i can muster, all i can think is: lawsy.  i need a vacation.

raising a two year old is not for the faint of heart.  i feel as though i'm riding an emotional roller coaster where one minute my bella is the sticky-est-sweetest pumpkin on the face of the earth, and on the turn of a dime she is writhing on the floor, face red from screaming, exuding complete and utter craziness.  i really am at a loss for words to describe how this happens.  such a unique quality i'm convinced is only possessed by two and three year olds.  i hope so, anyways.

having a toddler has made me increasingly aware of my flaws.  my selfishness, my pride and my impatience.  her tantrums don't align with my expectations for the day.  her meltdowns--especially in public--don't make me "look good" in front of others (why do i care what other people think?  they may be staring, but they don't even know me).  her wild swing of emotions make me feel helpless, out of control and cause me to question how well i'm doing at this whole mom-thing.  and that doesn't feel good.

this week has been a very challenging one.  both of my grandparents have been in the hospital.  at the same time.  i have seen them both deteriorate before my very eyes.  after losing my dad just over a year ago, i'm watching so many things, memories and people that have made me who i am today slowly slip away from me.  it's been a very emotional week, and i have not had much to give.  especially to my precious two year old who has been needing so much of me.

our challenges with bella these last few days have been such sweet reflections of god's love for me.  when i'm thrashing, my heart is ugly and my will is ever-so-strong, he lovingly gathers me into his arms and continually whispers that he loves me.  that he is my helper.  that it will all be okay.  it has been a humble reminder to me that even despite my ugliest days, god never ever stops loving me. 

i oftentimes get so frustrated, so embarrassed, so utterly flabbergasted that a child of mine would act in such a manner!  we have not raised her to behave this way!  and then i realize the pride and ridiculousness of those thoughts: i cannot possibly control every little thing my children do.  it's just not possible.  i can raise them to love god and love others, i can teach them morals and values and what is right and wrong, and i can hopefully encourage their character strengths and sense of integrity.  there are many things nick&i can prayerfully instill in our children... but at the end of the day, they will make their own choices, their own mistakes and their own successes.  i am not defined by their misbehavior.  and sometimes i repeat that to myself multiple times throughout the day.

the sooner i realize that my children have a free will that they will exercise despite my desire to control them so i can look like a good mother, the better off we will all be.  i want to thoroughly enjoy my children--faults and all--rather than being so focused on being perfect.  so much can be learned--and gained--in the imperfection.

i realize how much of this parallels my relationship with jesus.  ephesians 3:16-20 is one of my favorite passages in all of scripture and really spoke to my heart this week in where i find myself on this mama-journey.

"i pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with the power through his spirit in your innermost being, so that christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  and i pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge, that you may be filled to the measure with all the fullness of god.  now to him who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than all we could ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us."

more than anything, i want my girls to know just how much i love them.  and that nothing they do could ever change that.  tantrums and all.  public embarrassment and all.  writhing-crazy-person-on-the-floor and all.  i will always love them no matter what. 

"to the moon and back.  and back again."

one month.

along with now having a two year old, we also have a one month old. a one month old baby girl who is officially starting to outgrow her newborn clothes, wearing outfits that her sister didn't wear until she was a few months old, and is sporting size one diapers.

oi vey.

the last month has been amazing. i have waltzed through most of it with sleep filled eyes, unshampooed hair and sweatpants on, but it has been one of the *sweetest* months of my life. even if i've been exhausted--and sick with allergies--for most of it.

in a lot of ways, i was more fearful this time of leaving the hospital. i remember after i had bella, i couldn't wait to bring her home and show her where she would live with us. she was ours. i was excited about that this time around, but i was also so unsure of how it would feel bringing emmy home. would she fit into our family? would i feel guilty giving her my attention after it had been solely on bella for so long? would i have enough love to go around?

i had heard so many people say that their second babies just fit right into their families. i never understood how that could be until the day we brought emmy through our front door. she just fit. all was right in the world.

bella loved holding her. she tended to her incessantly as we cooked dinner and got settled. bringing her blankets, and her paci and trying to make her laugh. it was adorable. that night, we held emmy as we ate dinner. bella wanted her baby sister to watch her take a bath. all four of us crawled into bella's bed to read stories together. i loved it. i felt as though i forgot what life looked like before emmy was ours. my fears instantly became a distant memory.

emmy has been a pretty chill little girl. hasn't been fussy too much when there isn't a reason; cold, wet, dirty, hungry or sleepy. she sleeps alot. and poops alot. and eats a WHOLE lot. she is my champion little nurser. from fresh out of the womb, this girl can chow. she loves her daddy; and the love is quite mutual. he always has to hold her at night to get as much time with her as possible to last until the next day when he's home from work and can hold her again. at two weeks she started smiling and cooing. it is the cutest thing ever. and she has this way of engaging with me... when she hears my voice, her eyes search until they lock with mine and her face breaks into the hugest smile as she coos back at me. it's the sweetest thing and has just melted my heart. she loves her big sister. anytime bella's around, she is watching, smiling and still... already one of her biggest admirers :)

she has been having this fussy period at night around eleven o'clock, and has taken us some time to figure out how to calm her and get her down. just when we think we have it right and she is finally asleep, we'll lay her down in her bassinet and after ten minutes she'll start squawking again. tricky little babe. she was wearing me out with wanting to nurse about every two seconds before bedtime. so we've been supplementing with formula right before bed, holding her until she's completely out, and then laying her down which has worked pretty well. except for the fact that i usually don't get to go to sleep until midnight. so i'm pretty tired. buuuut she's starting to sleep longer stretches--a few five hour stints--so that has been so helpful. praise jesus.

over this last month, a second little girl has become the apple of our eye. and what a month it's been as we've gotten to know little pumpkin. i know i'm biased, but isn't she just the cutest thing you ever did see??

it's been hard on me not having as much one on one time with emmy as i had with bella, but i'm finding my own special ways to bond with her. i'll never forget one night as i was sleepily changing her in the wee hours of the morning, her sweet eyes found me. she just stared and stared as if memorizing everything about me. our eyes locked and i couldn't look away, treasuring everything about that moment. it was then that i knew...even if i had to hold her less because of having two little ones to look after, even if i had to let her cry longer while i tended to bella, even if i didn't have hours of uninterrupted time with her and only her...we would still have a special bond that's uniquely ours.

and she will always know just how much i love her and how she has stolen my heart.

i love you beyond words, emmy faith. you are such a beautiful little girl and so precious to us. you complete our family and bless us with your laid back nature and sweet, sweet smiles. thanks for making this last month of our lives one of the fullest because you are here.

lasts and firsts.

our little girl is growing up. and i'm embracing it... even though its breaking my heart! she seems so old to us right now; talking a mile a minute in full conversations even if we can't always understand what she is saying. she's such a little chatterbox! and the independent spirit--oh, the independent spirit. she must do *everything* by herself. even if she can't. and she's such a little mama; always looking out for her new baby cousin, lucy (or "woooocy"). trying to fetch her bottles and concerned when she cries, giving her pacies and telling us that we need to put her in her crib.

i can barely keep up with how my little girl is growing; it seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. i want to fully savor each stage as she grows, as every one is unique with it's own blessings and special moments and memories. i don't want to be too sad about what things we leave behind as she grows, but rather fully enjoy what she is doing right.this.moment.

last night was her last night in her crib.

tonight was her first night in her big girl bed. she was so excited she's been talking about it for weeks (even though she looks petrified in this first picture... she really was, i promise!)

she did so well! it probably helped that it was past her bedtime and little bugger skipped out on her nap today. she was one tired girl. she cried for a bit when we first left her room, but once i laid down with her for few minutes, she fell right to sleep.

adorable. fingers crossed there's no jumping on the bed at 2 am.

time to get the crib ready for emmy :)

"parenthood", aqua glow & new floors.

sorry i've been a little mia over the past week or so... nick&i both had february break last week so i took some time off from blogging. we also got addicted to the show "parenthood". like... majorly addicted. so i apologize for watching endless episodes of that on netflix and thus ignoring my little ole blog.

i'm sure yall have missed me :)

as i said, last week was february vacation for schools in the state of maine. it's pretty glorious here how they do school vacations... instead of just a spring break in march, we have a week off in february and a week off in march. it's lovely. and i realize now how much teachers look forward to it... maybe even more than the students (there are now six weeks left until april break...) ;) as usual, it went by waaaayyy too fast, but here are some highlights from our vacation week:

- as i mentioned in a previous post, february vacation kicks off a week of high school basketball tournaments here in the state of maine. it literally takes over the state, especially in the bangor area. it's been somewhat of a tradition in my family... i grew up going to games and played in a few of them (as did my dad), so it was really fun and nostalgic to take nick and bella this year to their first games! we followed nick's school as the girls made it to the eastern maine finals which was pretty exciting.

- date night. always a treat. nick&i kicked off our vacation week by date night on saturday night while bella stayed with her aunt holly and uncle scott. we went to our favorite little indian restuarant downtown and feasted on chicken tiki masala and naan... two of my absolute favorite things. at dinner we sat, going over our options of what to do next. get drinks? nope. i'm with child. nick wanted to take me to get my favorite pina colada smoothie and walk around the mall (he's such a good husband)? nope. i had a glucose test coming up and needed to watch my sugar. go do something active? nope. we were both tired. go home and watch parenthood? yes. absolutely yes. date nights are the best... especially when it doesn't matter what you do because you are together. awwwww. i know. i'll stop.

- parenthood. yes, we are officially addicted. we started watching two fridays ago and we have almost caught up to present time (if you are counting, that's two and a half seasons). we're nuts. literally we've been putting bella to bed at night and like giddy children, finding snacks, getting into bed and watching and watching and watching... anyone else a parenthood fan? if you're not watching, you need to check it out. but be careful... it may take over your life; consider this your official warning.

- beauty&the beast. i think i have the whole movie memorized. bella wasn't feeling all that great over break, so we allowed her to watch more videos than normal (we are currently in movie-detox; which by the tantrums she has been throwing lately when we tell her no more tv-watching is clearly not going so well). anyway, it is really cute watching her become so mesmerized by this movie (it's my favorite disney classic, too!). she literally stops whatever she is doing and just stares. and sometimes dances to the music. it's *adorable*.

- we have been wanting to lay new floors ever since we moved into our house back in september. as i've said before, it's my grandparents old house which is so cute and charming, but the carpets desperately needed to be torn up. the sunday before break, bella and i resorted to my mom's while nick got up all of the rugs, and then he and a couple of buddies worked so hard at laying our beautiful new floors! we chose a dark wood laminate flooring that we got for quite a steal. they look amazing and i'm so proud of my husband... he is such a hard worker and our home shows it! see? this is a pic nick took on his phone. how lovely. i'll take more pics eventually. i'm just being lazy right now ;)

- another one of nick's projects over the break was working on bella's "big girl room". along with the nasty carpet, it also was lined with a flowered wallpaper border that needed to be peeled off. nick scraped all the wallpaper off and painted it. we were so excited to get that done! i wanted a pretty blue color for the walls and nick didn't want a second pink bedroom in our house (can't say that i blame him!) ;) so, we chose valspar's "aqua glow" as the color for her room. every morning when bella wakes up, one of the first things she says is "go see big girl room??" she loves it. which is a good thing. now the next challenge will be the big girl bed... ehhhhh. not sure mama is ready!

we had a wonderful break and special time together as a family. treasuring these last few days with just bel. now i'll try to get back into the swing of blogging... i've got a few projects to show yall and some good recipes. so stay tuned ;)