days of gratitude {7}: the simple things.

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the secret to contentment is not giving thanks for extravagance.  it's recognizing beauty in the simple things, the everyday occurrences, the seemingly insignificant.  it is through this discipline that we realize the simple things are actually not so simple at all.  rather, they are the very things that give our lives beauty, purpose and the source of unending joy. 

a baby's dimpled hands.rocking chairs.warm mugs of hot chocolate.wrinkled pages of a bible.our backyard.the smell of bread baking.bubble baths.the sun spilling in through lace curtains.the sound of little feet running down the hall.backyard fire pit.laying in the snow, staring at the sky.homemade pie crust.butterfly kisses at bedtime.candlelight.the laughter of children.trips to the beach.swings at the park.snuggled under blankets, warm and cozy.walking hand in hand.listening to old music.bedhead and sleepy eyes.summer evenings on the front porch.chicken gravy and mashed potatoes.leaves changing color.family photos filling frames.tea kettle whistles.forts made of quilts.homemade pizza.little voices quoting scripture.saying i love you every night.antique china dishes.pom pom trim.ice cream cones all melty.baby pigtails.slow dancing in the kitchen.football games on chilly autumn nights.playful squeals.mismatched plates.cinnamon rolls hot out of the oven.babies in footed pajamas.cuddled in bed, snow swirling outside.crocuses sprouting in the front lawn.long walks.lattes topped with whipped cream.the smell of a grill on summer evenings.song filling the house.the warmth of a cheek pressed ever so loving.fresh picked apples.grammy's turquoise mixing bowl, overflowing with popcorn.date night.pretty dresses.the words of old hymns sung over little heads.staying up late.morning kisses.christmastime magic.the snap of a camera.silver and gold.psalms.eyelashes splayed on little cheeks.chubby wrists.sharing glasses of wine.white lace.crunchy leaves.cool mornings at the park.a deepening love over time.road trips.freshly washed hair tickling the nose.snuggling on the couch.slippers.cousins playing.fresh flowers bought with love.little eyes wide with excitement.the sound of rain.pumpkin scented candles.bread dough rising on the counter.letters.white picket fences.a breeze blowing through an open window.fireflies.bare feet in the grass.friends.walking to the farmers market.picnics.gooey chocolate chip cookies and a cold glass of milk.grandparents love.baby blankets.promising a lifetime.strolling through coastal quaintness.mexican food.birthday parties.quilts spilled over the couch in eclectic patches of color.china teacups.handprints.fluffy biscuits topped with butter.making memories.aqua mason jars.wet babies wrapped up in warm towels.arms squeezing tightly.milkglass vases and fresh flowers.us

giving thanks for the simple things is the very realization of the many ways that we are blessed.  my cup runneth over.  

happy thanksgiving.  from our home to yours.

days of gratitude {6}: my job.

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i was sixteen years old when i knew that i wanted to be a counselor.

i was sure of two things: one... that i loved to listen to people and two... that it would mean a whole lot of school.  and debt.  but i was okay with that, because it just felt like it was my calling.

i went off to college and plowed ahead to graduate school.  through lots of teary calls home, studying groups at the ihop down the street and several nights of putting on a pot of coffee at ten pm in order to make it through a research paper, i made it through by my last strand of sanity.  god opened the doors for me to work for a few years in a counseling ministry at an awesome church outside of dallas, and then lead me to pursue texas licensure.  it was then that i found myself working for a healthcare clinic doing psychological evaluations, as well as a private practice working as a clinician and in the front office as well.  i thoroughly enjoyed what i was doing, and loved the different people i got to meet with every day.  i was pregnant at the time, meeting back to back with several clients, and instead of being exhausted, i found myself energized and genuinely loving what i did.  that's when you know you've got a good thing going.  i specifically remember really enjoying working with kiddos.  being a young counselor, i found my niche connecting with little ones and adolescents and i really, really loved it.  their bright eyes even in moments of brokenness, unpretentious spirits, imagination, resiliency and playfulness was inspirational to me.  i remember being nine months pregnant and getting down on the floor, big belly and all, with some of my young ones to draw and play puzzles (thankfully, i was able to get up at the end of every session).  i just loved it.

when i had bella, i took a few months off and planned on going back to my work three days a week.  it was then we received the news no new parents want to hear: the daycare we had all lined up for bella was closing it's doors... we were at square one again.  i decided to take a year off, worked as a nanny for two sweet families so i could tote bella right along with me, and we also prepared our family for another huge change: moving halfway across the country to my home state of maine.  we didn't have jobs lined up, and weren't really sure what would fall into place but we knew god was calling us and many, many circumstances made that clear.  so we trusted him and made the move.  no surprise that his timing was hugely perfect and he provided in ways we could've never imagined.  nick, a full time teaching job in subjects he hadn't even been teaching... and me, an elementary school counselor: which has proven to be my most beloved job.

i found the advertisement as i was doing my daily browsing on a website for teaching jobs for nick.  it was perfect: three days a week, which was so ideal for me, and working with kids from pre-k to grade eight.  i didn't have experience in a school, but i knew it was where i wanted to be.  in the last year, i had talked to many people in maine, trying to gather information on school counseling... it was the shift i wanted to make in my field, and it's been amazing to watch god put all of the pieces together.

i don't write much about my job on my blog since it's so confidential in nature, but i'm tearing up as i type this, just thinking about the sweet little faces i have in my office every day, gathered around my table for daily lunch groups, talks over play doh or my little sandbox or a game of checkers.  these little ones entrust me every day with details of their lives, the hurts of their hearts or the things that make them smile, and i feel so blessed to be a part of their lives.

the school i work at is in a rural community, about 40 minutes from where i live.  it's quite a drive, but i wouldn't want to be anywhere else.  it's a school where my aunt had her first teaching job over twenty years ago, and the same place two of my best friends from high school grew up.  i am so thankful to be a part of such a wonderful school and community and am so excited to watch these students grow and blossom into beautiful young adults.  it's by far the hardest job i've ever had, but i love it so much it makes the stressful, difficult, busy parts so so worth it.

incredibly thankful for god's provision and his leading me into this field that i love so much.  so grateful to work with such a fantastic group of people.  and ever so blessed to be a part of these young lives.

days of gratitude: {5} my childhood.

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i remember when i was in college, telling my dad that i had been blessed with the best childhood.

really.  it was pretty great.  i have such happy memories of playing at the beach in the summers, picking strawberries and catching fireflies on warm summer evenings, running barefoot through the backyard.  playing outside until it was dark in the colder months, mom making us mugs of warm hot chocolate and laying on my back in the snow, laughing until i couldn't catch my breath.

i had the best parents ever.  dad played games with us the minute he got home from work.  i still remember playing hide and go seek while mom was cooking dinner, and how i could never figure out how he managed to end up in places i'd already looked.  it was like magic.  and if anyone could do it my dad certainly could.  my mom was always taking care of us and making our home a place of continual warmth and comfort.  i remember being at school and thinking "i can't wait to find out what mom is making for dinner", she was the best cook.  i never realized what security i found in warm meals every night as a family around our table, or a neat and clean home, until i was away in college.  she gave that to us.  security, warmth, comfort.

we were raised to know and love the lord.  my dad helped us memorize god's word and my mom took us to children's choir practice at church every week.  we were taught that we were inextricably valuable because god loved us and his grace had saved us.  besides the love and security given to us by our parents, it was this merciful, unconditional affection from our heavenly father that was the very foundation of how we saw ourselves.

every sunday we'd gather at my grandparents house after church to share a family meal.  they were a huge part of our lives, and we were their only grandchildren so our bond was extra special.  we loved spending the night at their house (i still did occasionally when i was in college), going for rides (which always included a stop for ice cream) and playing cards out on their front porch.  there were sleepovers at my aunt's and uncle's house which always included delicious popcorn (i still can't make it like my aunt did), a movie or two (they had the biggest movie library i had ever seen) and junk food that our mom never had in the house.

i had (and still have) a sister who was like a built in best friend.  although, back then, we fought a little too much and had yet to realize how great of friends we would really become.  who can fully and totally understand you and your life experiences like your sister?  i am continually thankful for her and our friendship.  in fact, i don't know where i'd be without her in my life.  we'd sleep in our basement in the summers because it was much cooler than the rest of the house.  it was there that we'd keep each other awake for hours, perfecting our duets to "point of grace" and "out of eden" (christian music groups from the 90s... i know some of you lived on this music too, don't lie), laughing at things no one else would understand and talking about boys we thought were cute, promising each other that we wouldn't tell.

there were basketball games, family vacations, holiday traditions, school plays, game nights, summer picnics and lots of billy joel played over the stereo.

when i was in high school, our house was one of the places everyone wanted to be.  my parents were those parents; the ones that were awesome and people loved being around them.  mom would cook for everyone, and dad would talk and talk and talk... they always took such joy in having lots of kids around, and being a home away from home for many of our friends.

as nick&i raise our girls, i hope and pray that they have the childhood memories that i have when they look back on these years.  the "good old days" are now.  memories are always waiting to be made... even in the simplest things.  so as i clean up the kitchen after dinner in the evenings, and i watch nick on the floor as the girls climb on him and laughter fills the house, i can't help but tear up thinking that maybe they will feel as blessed one day as i do right now.

i know they say "the best is yet to come", but i say i am so very thankful for all the years and memories leading up to this very minute.

days of gratitude: {4} my daughters.

i have always known in my heart that i was meant to be a mama.

although i grew up dreaming of having my own family someday, i could have never prepared myself for what it would be like to be the mom of two of the most precious girls.

my daughters are my world, and being their mama has changed my life.  i may get frustrated, impatient or lose my cool on a daily basis, but my eyes fill with happy tears and my heart melts into a puddle just as much; if not more.  and those moments make the hard ones more than worth it.  the hardest job, being a parent is.  but the toughest roles heed the greatest blessings.

and oh, how they bless me.  on a daily basis.

i'll never forget when nick&i first started talking about and praying through starting to add to our family.  there were so many things we feared and that made us anxious.  but we could have never even imagined the ways our hearts would burst with love for these little ones, our daughters.  i'll never forget when they were placed in our arms for the first time, how we cried.  it was then that we knew our lives would never be the same.

i'm so thankful for their personalities, and how different they are.  my bella, my little sweetheart.  strong willed and dramatic, and ever so kind and tender.  she tugs at my heart every single day with her affectionate hugs and kisses and sweet words.  my emmy, my little sunshine.  naughty and impish, and ever so funny and full of joy.  she makes me laugh all the time and brings such cheer every where she goes with her sweet smile and jovial spirit.  when i watch them play, i can't help but smile.  when i watch them with others, i can't help but be proud.  they have their daddy's kind eyes, sweet spirit and his smile that lights up any room.  i absolutely love seeing how god has woven our qualities together in our girls.  they are such extensions of who we are... in both good ways and bad.  and through all the imperfections we love each other no matter what.

oh, how i love these girls.

from rocking them before bed to caring for them when they're sick... from watching them experience life with wide eyed wonder to drying their tears as my own heart breaks... from the pitter patter of their footsteps down the hall to their kisses and contagious laughter... and everywhere in between...

i'm so grateful for this journey with my daughters.
so thankful for these little ones who light up my life.
can't think of a greater honor than to be chosen as their mama.

days of gratitude: {3} my girlfriends.

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one of the greatest blessings in life is friendship.  friendship that stands the test of time and distance.  friendship that builds up and speaks truth in love.  friendship that is both life changing and life giving.

i grew up in a home where my parents put such an emphasis on the importance of relationships.  from a young age, i saw my mom and dad invest in others.  we shared life with other families, made memories and laughed a lot; those were some of the biggest things that shaped my childhood.  friendship was taught and shown to me my whole life, and it is something i hold so dearly.

this last weekend i went away with some of my best friends from high school.  we've done annual get togethers the past few years, and this was the second year we've gone away for a weekend in the fall.  it's something we look forward to all year.  our husbands are so gracious and just all-around awesome to help make this an annual thing!  we stay at a hotel in portland, lounge by the lobby fireplace in our cozy clothes, huddle up on the pullout couch for movies and chinese takeout, walk around the old port and shop with starbucks in hand.  all of these things are such luxuries to us and we drink it all in, savoring each second spent together.  we did the math this weekend and we've been friends for nineteen years.  yikes.  we're getting old, friends.  getting old.

but i hope this tradition lasts fifty more.

life has brought me several different places and through many various seasons.  at each stop along the way, i've been blessed with the sweet gift of friendship.  some for just a time... but others that have lasted and endured through the passing of years.  high school and college friends.  roommates.  seminary classmates.  we've celebrated with one another as god has given us careers, traveling opportunities, husbands, homes, families... we've supported each other through trials, losses, disappointments and tears.  it's a pretty sweet journey, friendship is. 

i would not be who i am today without the gift of friendship.  i share with these women laughter from memories retold or just being silly, tears from honestly sharing in each other's hurts, words spoken in challenging truth, prayers of support and hugs of love.  

to all of the women who have walked life beside me; thank you.  i truly am honored and blessed to call you my friend.  i am better because of you.

"and in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures.  for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

- kahlil gibran

days of gratitude: {2} my husband.

i can't even begin to describe in words how thankful i am for the man that i married.

i was twenty seven when we said "i do".  after visiting one of my lifelong friends in dallas when i was twenty four, i decided on a whim to move to the lonestar state.  why not?  i went to grad school, lived with a few girl friends, got a job at an awesome church and was told by several of my coworkers about this guy named nick, who they thought was my future husband.

turned out they were right.

i can't imagine my life apart from this man.  we make a good team, he and i. and the bottom line is, i just really love being with him.  he is loving, tender hearted and the most likeable guy there is.  if you run into him, you're likely to see a huge smile across his face.  that's just who he is, and one of the many reasons i love him so much.

everything he does in life centers around loving others, and doing what he can to impact those around him.  from the day i met him, he knew he wanted to be a coach and a teacher because of the opportunity it was to reach out to so many kids.  i respect so much that his career choices were not driven by money or status, but by how god wants to use him to influence young lives and to make a difference in this world.  any time i attend his school for an event, i'm stopped by several parents or other students telling me how much they love and appreciate my husband.  it makes me so proud. 

a couple of weeks ago, the girls and i were at one of nick's football games.  this was his second year assisting the football team where he teaches.  he loves it, and so do i... i love seeing him in his element, pouring his heart into a group of young men that look up to him and respect him so much.  after this particular game, the girls and i ran out on the field as we always do, and i stopped for a second as a sea of his players gathered around him, taking turns shaking his hand, hugging him and telling him "thanks, coach" or "love you, coach".  tears began stinging my eyes.  football can be a long season for all of us and means less time as a family for a couple of months, but that moment right there made everything worth it.  it was such a testament to who nick is, and yet another reason why i respect him so much.

sometimes, while we're playing with the girls, i think back to when people first mentioned him to me and were so convinced that we were meant for each other.  i can't help but smile and think how crazy it is that we are where we are today.

so thankful for the life we have been given.  beyond thankful for the father he is to our girls.  forever thankful for the love of a good, good man.

days of gratitude: {1} my faith in jesus.

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november has crept in, quiet and unassuming.  it was the other day when i heard someone say "i can't believe it's november already!" that i drew in a breath and thought "okay, lord.  here we go."  as the days pass by, i become more teary eyed and heavy-hearted.  ask anyone who has lost someone; grief is the most reliable "calendar" of all.  even when i'm unaware, my heart tells me what month it is.  i think back.  back to the hardest, most painful days i've ever lived.  i try to keep the memories at bay, but every once and a while...especially around this time of the year... they come flooding back.  i feel them again with such intensity, as if i were reliving it all.

a blessing and a curse of losing my dad in november is that every year upon the anniversary of his death, the world around me is focused on gratitude.  sometimes that makes me angry, if i'm being real honest.  i'll never forget thanksgiving almost two years ago, driving home from boston just hours after saying goodbye to my dad.  on a day our country was focused on giving thanks, i couldn't stop tears from flowing.  i was broken and hurting.  wounds so deep and raw and bleeding from saying goodbye to one of the people i loved most in the whole world.

but i suppose that much of life comes with a choice.  and due to my personal journey in gratitude over the past few years, god had been teaching me much--and continues to--on focusing my mind and attitude on a spirit of gratefulness.  and so in some ways, i'm glad that this dreadful time of grief happens for me in a month where our world is focused on giving thanks.  because no matter what month, what time of year we experience loss or devastation or pain, we still have an opportunity for gratitude.  regardless of our circumstances.

i'm not saying that gratitude is the magic wand to make all of our hurt disappear.  i'm not saying it takes away the pain of loss or that it makes everything okay.  it doesn't.  but it is a balm that can soothe our hurting souls.  it's a shift in our perspective, to be grateful.  it turns what we have into enough.  and that's where i feel blessed that november--the anniversary of my dad's going home to be with jesus--helps me fix my eyes on what i have in this life, while remembering and honoring the person i lost.

so this month on my blog, i will be recording my blessings.  i know this will not only help my heart as this month goes by, but it will honor my dad.  because he would've wanted me to celebrate, to live fully and to treasure what god has given me.

"the lord gave and the lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the lord."

(job 1:21)

today, i am thankful for my faith in jesus.  when i look back on the past two years and what he has brought me through, i am amazed at his strength and grace.  he promises us that when we are weak, he will be strong and i have found that to be so true.  in ways i've never known or experienced before.  when i think about why i continue to believe in god, the answer is so simple.  i didn't stop believing in god because he chose not to heal my dad... rather, i believe in him with greater conviction because he is the only way i've made it through such a painful time in my life.  he has not only carried me, but he's continually showed me more of who he is.  he's my rock, my anchor, my Father... and he never changes. to one who has lost, to the one whose life has been forever changed... that is true comfort.  he is the rock upon which my sinking feet can stand.  he is the one who holds my weary heart in his everlasting hands.

and for this, and only because of this, my heart can truly be thankful.  this month, and every month.  for it is through my faith in jesus that all other blessings flow.

eternally grateful, forever secured in the arms of my savior.

"he lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet upon a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  he put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our god.  many will see and fear the lord and put their trust in him."

(psalm 40:2-3)