days like this.

i always want to remember days like this.

when you wake us up with giggles because the sky is full of snow.  i put the coffee on and sleepily gaze out the kitchen window, while you're calling for me from the living room, begging for me to come play with you.

on days like this, we sit, snuggled in mounds of blankets.  we eat special breakfasts, dusted with powdered sugar.  with maple syrup warmed in little pitcher shaped like an owl.  and lit candles all over the house.

on days like this, daddy and i get you bundled up, and it takes what seems like a million years.  you take two steps outside and fall immediately onto your backs to make angels in the snow.  we trudge through the backyard and lay under the big pine trees, powdered with white, drinking in the silence. you throw fistfuls of snow into the sky and it sprinkles down on you, dusting your eyelashes and the tip of your noses.

i love watching you.

on days like this, everything moves in slow motion.  you drink mugfuls of hot chocolate, cheeks chilled pink.  we play games, watch movies and lay, snuggled in blankets.  you climb on daddy and i watch thinking i never want to forget the sound of your laughter.  you dance through the living room and i listen to you play with your dolls and string beaded necklaces.

and my heart aches because i already miss days like this.  and my heart is happy because i'm grateful we have them.

the polar express.

when i was growing up, christmastime was full of traditions.  we drank cranberry juice mixed with ginger ale, my mom made cookies shaped like candy canes, and we'd spend the night with my grandparents and ride around in our pajamas, looking at christmas lights.  there were many, many more, but one of my favorites was every christmas eve we'd get in my parents bed and cozy up together.  my mom read two books: one about the birth of jesus, and the other was the polar express.  to this day, it's one of my favorite books.  the illustrations are just breathtaking and i love how magical it is.

here in new england, there are a few old railroads that have "polar express" rides at christmastime, where families get to go on a train ride which emulates the childhood tale.  my sister and i have been wanting to take our kids, and this year it seemed like they were all at just the right age.  because of the popularity of these rides, we all had to split up but it was still so fun even if we weren't all in the same car.

i never want to forget how cute they looked in their matching pink jammies dotted with snowmen.  they were grinning from ear to ear with joy that only children have as they anticipate something with such excitement.

the day was cold and crisp, and we were set to board the train at dusk.  when the conductor announced "all aboard!" we excitedly dashed to our car, music playing overhead and the steam from the train blanketing the ground.  we were in the caboose, and sat way near the back so we could peek out the back door as we rode.  

over the loudspeaker, the story of the polar express was read and christmas music flooded the train.  at our first stop, a flood of people dressed in white coats and tall chef hats descended upon our car to pass out cups of hot chocolate and passed baskets of cookies.  

they danced and got the kids to dance with them.  the girls absolutely loved this part... see for yourself:

the next stop was the north pole, and there was santa, in all his glory, waving to the passing train before getting on to greet every single child.  the girls loved him.  bella gave him a huge hug, and meme had to hold emmy back from running right down the aisle to him!

after santa's exit, the conductor came through and punched every child's initials in their golden ticket.  then each child was given a silver bell from santa's sleigh.

that night as we drove home, our hearts were full.  there's nothing like seeing christmas through the eyes of your children.  every christmas since becoming a mom, the verse luke 2:19 plays over and over in my head "and mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  as i watch them and try so desperately to soak in everything about their little faces, their eyes lit with wonder, i think about that verse and what it means about motherhood.  all of these moments at christmastime make me stop and treasure, storing these memories in my heart to last a lifetime.

days of gratitude: {5} my childhood.

{source}

i remember when i was in college, telling my dad that i had been blessed with the best childhood.

really.  it was pretty great.  i have such happy memories of playing at the beach in the summers, picking strawberries and catching fireflies on warm summer evenings, running barefoot through the backyard.  playing outside until it was dark in the colder months, mom making us mugs of warm hot chocolate and laying on my back in the snow, laughing until i couldn't catch my breath.

i had the best parents ever.  dad played games with us the minute he got home from work.  i still remember playing hide and go seek while mom was cooking dinner, and how i could never figure out how he managed to end up in places i'd already looked.  it was like magic.  and if anyone could do it my dad certainly could.  my mom was always taking care of us and making our home a place of continual warmth and comfort.  i remember being at school and thinking "i can't wait to find out what mom is making for dinner", she was the best cook.  i never realized what security i found in warm meals every night as a family around our table, or a neat and clean home, until i was away in college.  she gave that to us.  security, warmth, comfort.

we were raised to know and love the lord.  my dad helped us memorize god's word and my mom took us to children's choir practice at church every week.  we were taught that we were inextricably valuable because god loved us and his grace had saved us.  besides the love and security given to us by our parents, it was this merciful, unconditional affection from our heavenly father that was the very foundation of how we saw ourselves.

every sunday we'd gather at my grandparents house after church to share a family meal.  they were a huge part of our lives, and we were their only grandchildren so our bond was extra special.  we loved spending the night at their house (i still did occasionally when i was in college), going for rides (which always included a stop for ice cream) and playing cards out on their front porch.  there were sleepovers at my aunt's and uncle's house which always included delicious popcorn (i still can't make it like my aunt did), a movie or two (they had the biggest movie library i had ever seen) and junk food that our mom never had in the house.

i had (and still have) a sister who was like a built in best friend.  although, back then, we fought a little too much and had yet to realize how great of friends we would really become.  who can fully and totally understand you and your life experiences like your sister?  i am continually thankful for her and our friendship.  in fact, i don't know where i'd be without her in my life.  we'd sleep in our basement in the summers because it was much cooler than the rest of the house.  it was there that we'd keep each other awake for hours, perfecting our duets to "point of grace" and "out of eden" (christian music groups from the 90s... i know some of you lived on this music too, don't lie), laughing at things no one else would understand and talking about boys we thought were cute, promising each other that we wouldn't tell.

there were basketball games, family vacations, holiday traditions, school plays, game nights, summer picnics and lots of billy joel played over the stereo.

when i was in high school, our house was one of the places everyone wanted to be.  my parents were those parents; the ones that were awesome and people loved being around them.  mom would cook for everyone, and dad would talk and talk and talk... they always took such joy in having lots of kids around, and being a home away from home for many of our friends.

as nick&i raise our girls, i hope and pray that they have the childhood memories that i have when they look back on these years.  the "good old days" are now.  memories are always waiting to be made... even in the simplest things.  so as i clean up the kitchen after dinner in the evenings, and i watch nick on the floor as the girls climb on him and laughter fills the house, i can't help but tear up thinking that maybe they will feel as blessed one day as i do right now.

i know they say "the best is yet to come", but i say i am so very thankful for all the years and memories leading up to this very minute.