vacation bible school.

one of our highlights this summer was vacation bible school.

i didn't even realize that bella would be old enough to join in this fun already!  the first week of summer, a church in our neighborhood kicked off their vbs and a friend of mine told me they had a pre-k class and invited us to come.  bella LOVED it.  she had sno-cones, jumped in a bouncy house, flew down a slip n slide and of course did lots of cool crafts and learned lots of bible stories.  the first night she came home, she was super excited to tell nick all about what she learned (the story of adam and eve).  i'll never forget: he was mowing the lawn when we got home and paused to hear bella's excited narration: "daddy!  jesus ate the apple and the people were very sad."

hmmm.  guess it's a good thing we're going back the rest of the week.

she had such a great time and all of her teachers loved her.  every night when i dropped her off, everyone was so excited to see her, and when i picked her up all of her teachers raved about what a good girl she was.  it was such a fun experience; for me, and for her.  made my mama-heart so happy.

this last week of summer, my sister's church had their vbs, so naturally, we made the rounds again (our church's vbs doesn't start until kindergarten).  this time, there was even a class for ems!  they had a blast.  every night when i'd come to pick them up, they were both in the sanctuary going to town jammin to the music.  seriously; adorable.

and they got to hang with a few of their bff's: jude, lucy, sophia and wyatt.  super fun.

the last night of vacation bible school they did a little concert for all of the parents.  here is a little preview of my girl, the performer:

it was seriously the best week.  nick had two-a-days that week, so i dropped them off and picked them up by myself and my heart was just so full every night when i drove them home.  they'd sit in the back, eating their snacks and singing their songs, emmy's cute little head bopping to the beat.  it made me so happy to see how much fun they had, and most of all that they were also learning about jesus.

there's nothing like the faith of a child.

and now, a week later, i find myself driving in the car singing the songs to myself.  catchy, i tell ya.  this one song, emmy LOVED.  she would seriously go nuts every time they played it.  the other night i decided to try to find it on youtube.  she was back in her bedroom, and i was on the computer in the kitchen.  when i found it, the minute the music started playing, i could hear her little feet just a-running down the hall until she got to the kitchen to display her signature moves.  it was awesome.

i captured this video tonight of the girls: just check out emmy's little face when she recognizes the music.  i know.  so precious.

these memories are ones i just want to bottle up and remember forever!  if you want some catchy little bible tunes to play for your kids, here are a few links to the videos on youtube for kingdom rocks, which is the vbs the girls went to last week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzWi7LvxVxQ 

(emmy's fav)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNChTPzF3i8 

(jude totally moshed to this)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV7HmRfoNaI 

(bella's fav)

warning: they will totally get stuck in your head.  and they are a wee bit cheesy.  but we definitely love to jam to them in our house.

good times, vacation bible school.  some of the best memories of the summer.

the tale of the cutest baby bikini.

{source}

it was the prettiest shade of coral with ruffles around the halter necked top and cute little rosettes clustered about.  twelve months was the size, and i was almost giddy when i found it on the target clearance rack, which in my book is deemed one of earth's most heaven-like places.  i brought it home and flashed it excitedly to nick, just waiting for the oooohhs and the ahhhhs obligatory "yeah, that's cute" thinking about our sweet little girl in all that coral-ruffled-rosette adorableness.

well, it didn't go quite the way i imagined it would.  instead, the still-new-father of his first little girl took one look at that cutsie baby bikini and promptly announced that his daughter would not be wearing that.  a one year old?  realllly?  but, dad had spoken, so i marched my sad little behind back to target and returned it (for store credit, so don't worry; it wasn't all a wash).

{this, by the way, is not a post about how baby girls--or any girls--should not be wearing bikinis.  please hear me say that now.  i just shared that story as a cute little intro to a much bigger conversation.  i don't have the same view as nick on our little girls wearing two piece swimsuits.  i have worn many a two piece in my day and never thought twice about it.  however, he knows waaaaaay more than i do about the workings of a male brain, so he has the final call on matters of modesty when it comes to raising our daughters.  it's something he feels passionate about, and he has my support one hundred percent.  the standards may change as the girls grow, but i love that he's already starting to protect them in this area at the ripe ole age of one} :)

i've seen many a bikini/modesty debate flooding the church social media world ever since summer has crept upon us.  i have mixed emotions, can understand both sides and certainly am not setting up tent at either camp.  however, i do think this topic begs us to look at deeper issues that lie under the surface, and in my mind, are much more important.  the church can fall short in so many areas, and i believe this is one of them: we impose standards and rules and restrictions without teaching matters of the heart.  i'm not suggesting that we shouldn't have rules or guidelines... they certainly have their place and are much needed in order to provide boundaries and structure.  and clearly, my husband has already set a few rules for our girls in terms of modesty and bathing suits.  i'm merely suggesting that we need to look deeper.  we shouldn't have rules without teaching, nurturing and instilling principles in our children.  we can't ask young girls to treasure their bodies if we have not taught them self respect.  and we can't ask them to respect themselves if we haven't taught them how to truly love who god has created them to be.  the problem isn't necessarily modesty, or whether or not girls should wear two piece bathing suits.  the issue is that our society is raising women who are told their value is based on their physical appearance and to use it to get what they want.  our girls are learning at alarmingly young ages that there are certain standards of attractiveness (which are incredibly unrealistic) that they are going to be judged by.  and to top it all off, because of the impossible task of looking like the airbrushed celebrities in magazines or the perfectly chiseled models that grace the runway, they are taught that it's culturally acceptable--and expected, really--that they will dislike how they look.

sound like a mess?

the task of raising young women to love who they are and to be comfortable and secure in their own skin seems overwhelming these days.  living in a culture where women's bodies are used to sell everything from perfume to alcoholic beverages to cheeseburgers, no wonder it seems next to impossible.  but i'm up for the challenge, and it's a battle that i will fight with all my heart.  because i know that if they love who they are, that mindset will greatly impact their choices in relationships, lifestyle, friendship and overall, who they become and the life they will build for themselves.  they will make decisions based on what they think they deserve.  and i want them to know they deserve the world.  i want my daughters to know that they are beautiful beings, inside and out.  from the tip tops of their brown-haired little heads, all the way down to their cute little toes.  everything about them is perfect; not because they're perfect, but because they were created by a perfect God.

i read this quote recently by actress kate winslet and it has stuck with me ever since.

"as a child, i never heard one woman say to me, 'i love my body'.  not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend.  no one woman has ever said, 'i am so proud of my body.' so i make sure to say it to mia (her daughter) because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age."

perhaps one of the scariest things about being a mom to two little girls is that they will learn from me what it is to be a woman.  their little eyes are on me constantly; their little ears take in every word that leaves my lips.  they watch me while i get dressed, or while i put on my makeup.  when i gaze at my reflection in the mirror, they watch.  they watch to see if i look lovingly at the face and at the body i see in the glass... or will i scrunch up my nose in criticism of all of it's flaws?  when others compliment me, they hear.  they will hear my gracious acceptance of those compliments, or they will hear my protest and follow up list of the things i wish were different about how i looked.

little eyes watching, little ears hearing.  looking to me to see what being a woman is all about.

i want my girls to know that it's a very good thing for a woman to be proud of who she is; on the inside as well as the outside.  i may find a million faults in myself, but generally, i like who i am.  and i want them to know that's not only okay... but that it's good.  even typing "i like who i am" feels awkward for me.  we live in a culture where it's taboo to sit and tell our girlfriends something we really like about ourselves, but it's perfectly acceptable--expected, even--to sit and rattle off all the things we don't like.

so, mamas of other girls out there, let's unite.  let's encourage our girls to love who they are, what they look like, and most importantly, who god made them to be.  and let's start with leading by example.   grandmothers, aunts, sisters, friends... let's be pouring good words, gracious acceptance and the true beauty of confidence and security into the young women in our lives.  it starts with us.

it's my opinion that modesty is a byproduct of this greater issue.  if we raise our daughters to see themselves as treasured and worthy its less likely they'll be flaunting themselves haphazardly, wearing next to nothing... because they know they're bodies are beautiful and VALUED.  and that makes all the difference.

i'm not sure if nick's rules in regards to two pieces will change as our daughters get older.  but one thing i do know: we are going to do our darndest to teach those sweet girls that they are the beautiful works of a benevolent creator who has loved them and called them by name.  so much so that he knows the number of hairs on their heads, and wrote their story before they were even born.  that not liking their bodies or what they look like isn't just "a girl thing", or "what women do"... instead, that they can be confident and secure in who they are.  two piece, or one piece.  that's not really what's important, anyway.

let's focus a little less on rules and start molding little hearts instead.
after all, little eyes are watching, little ears are hearing.  looking to us to see what being a woman is all about.

mourning with those who mourn.

i've been mulling the concept of mourning over in this head of mine over the past eleven months.  not only have i experienced a huge loss in my life, but i've also watched several people i care about lose loved ones within this last year as well.  while watching them, hearing their stories, and reflecting on my own experiences, i've come to many conclusions about mourning.  one of them is this: sometimes christians aren't very good at this whole grief thing.

and that totally stinks.

i guess i get it.  pain is uncomfortable.  we don't always know what to do with other people's suffering, and most of the time wish we could just put the pieces of their broken lives back together again.  but i wonder; why are we so anxious for people to feel better?  because we care, definitely, yes.  but sometimes i think we want to make things "pretty" again.  less messy.  so we don't have to get our hands dirty... so we don't feel uncomfortable looking at or experiencing the brokenness.

too bad this doesn't work.  why?  because life is messy.  there's no getting around it.  doesn't make you any less godly or unspiritual or faith-less to struggle.  in fact, i think the contrary is true.  jesus tells us in his word that suffering is a part of this life:

{source}

i'll never forget one of my first classes at dallas seminary.  i was a bright eyed, naive twenty three year old, eager and ready to become a counselor and help others.  there i sat, soaking up every word my professor was saying much like a dry sponge, thirsting for water.  and then he said something like this: 

"many of you will meet with hurting people and you will have the urge to spend an hour with them, talking with them, helping them and then wrap everything up at the end of your sixty minutes with a nice, neat bow on top.  you'll send them on their way, thinking you've made everything nice and pretty and you've "fixed" them.  but it doesn't work that way.  healing is a process.  and it's not pretty.  it's not our job to clean people up.  it's our job to sit with them in their pain and show them the love of jesus."

wow.

that statement had a profound effect on me.  and how i wish that more people had this perspective.  especially followers of christ.

i've cringed every time someone has told me not to be sad because my dad's in a "better place".  although it's true, he is in a much better place, my emotions, my grief, my sorrow and my deep, profound sense of loss is real.  jesus has been so sweet to draw me close to him, and fill me with his grace... but that does not mean it's always easy.

and that's okay.

the shortest verse in the bible is john 11:35.  two words: "jesus wept."  if you look further into the context of this verse, you'll find out why.  because he lost a good friend.  lazarus had died.  i love the power of envisioning the savior of the world, crouched down on the ground, weeping tears of sorrow and aching with loss.  why?  because i know he gets it.  isaiah 53:3 talks of him being a man of many sorrows, well acquainted with grief.

so if we are truly loving each other in the way that i believe christ calls us to, i think our support of one another would look a whole lot different.  there would be less talking and more listening.  less "having to have all of the answers" and more sitting with someone in their pain.  less not wanting to get messy, and more rolling up our sleeves to go to battle with and for one another.  that's the kind of christ-follower i want to be, and certainly the kind i want to raise our girls to be.

scripture calls us to "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn" (romans 12:15). why?  we are supposed to be for each other.  are you a fellow mourner?  or are you too busy?  too comfortable to get messy?

my family and i are coming up on the year anniversary of my dad's death.  friends (and even some strangers!) from all over the country have been so sweet in sending cards, letters, text messages and phone calls to let me know they are praying for us.  it's been such a blessing... i can honestly say that i feel a sense of joy and peace i haven't felt in the past year.  i know god's healing my heart... and the encouragement and support of others has made his love for me tangible.  people being the hands and feet of jesus, and loving well.

we need each other for these times.  this is when the rubber meets the road, and our faith is called to action. if we love jesus, we can't help but love others.  in hard times, in good times, in easy times, in not-so-easy times.

"if i have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and knowledge, and if i have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, i am nothing."

1 corinthians 13:2 

so let's roll up our sleeves and go to battle for one another.  let's live this life side by side.  willing to get messy.  daring to love.

refreshing words {hope of heaven}.

life seems heavy sometimes. there are days when it seems too much to bear... it doesn't make sense... where grief can seem to outweigh blessings.

i've been reminded of this lately. so many stories, so much suffering. amidst the struggles and trials of life, there is one thing every human needs in order to keep on going: hope. hope is what tells us that life won't always hurt. that it won't always feel so heavy. that it won't always seem this dark.

this too, shall pass.

i love this devotional i read a couple of days ago...

"hope is the golden cord connecting you to heaven. this cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you. i never leave your side, and i never let go of your hand. but without the cord of hope, your head may slump and your feet may shuffle as you journey uphill with me. hope lifts your perspective from your weary feet to the glorious view you can see from the high road. you are minded that the road we're traveling together is ultimately a highway to heaven. when you consider this radiant destination, the roughness or smoothness of the road ahead becomes much less significant. i am training you to hold in your heart a dual focus: my continual presence and the hope of heaven."

(romans 12:12: rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer...

1 thessalonians 5:8: but since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation.

hebrews 6:18-19: so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for god to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. this hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil.)

irving bible church in irving, texas was the place where nick&i met, we established deep friendships, and were employed and involved in several ministries. we just heard this week that the youth group there is grieving the loss of one of their students, friends, brothers. please be praying for this young man's family as well as the youth group at ibc. these things never make sense... pray these kids are held in the grace and peace of jesus, and that in him, they would find hope.

thursday three.

what a great week. holy week. and these past seven days have been some of my favorite. nothing spectacular happened (besides celebrating our risen savior... you know, he came back to life three days after being buried in a tomb) ;) this week wasn't out of the ordinary. but it was just good. ever have weeks like that?

i had several moments this week where i just made myself take time to treasure them in my mind. nick rocking bella and reading her stories before bed. nick&i talking on the couch after a long day. bella leaning in to give us kisses, talking to herself and bopping up and down in excitement, an ear to ear grin spread across her face. it's these simple moments that just make me feel blessed beyond measure.

since it was holy week this past week, this thursday three is all about easter.

nick

my parents had gotten each of us couples "the passion of the christ" movie for easter a few years ago. neither of us had seen it since it first came out, and nick suggested saturday night that we watch it and finally break it out of it's five-year-old shrink wrap. we got in bed--with a roll of toilet paper--and watched and cried. mel gibson may have kind of fallen off the deep end these days, but he directed such an amazing movie that is full of truth and depicts jesus in a way i really appreciate (you know, besides the flowing-hair-walking-beside-sheep, weak, boring, no personality emotionless jesus that we see all too often). it really prepared our hearts and set them right going into sunday. it's easy to become desensitized to what we really celebrate on easter; the unfathomable love and sacrifice of the cross, and the hope and power of the resurrection!

meg

i *love* going to church on easter. love, love, love it. it never feels like easter until we go to church. our church also has an amazing good friday service. at the last minute nick and his best friend, matt, got tickets to a rangers game, so me and camille (the baseball widows ;)) and my good friend candace took bella and went to the good friday service. on sundays, nick&i always go to our church's five o'clock service, which feels a little strange on easter... but it was well worth the wait. i love the feeling of celebrating in the midst of other believers, and easter is just the best. several people shared their testimonies and the hope that covers their pain... because he is alive. our service ended with this video that i've seen several times before, but forgot just how much i love it!!!

bel

since our eleven month old doesn't yet understand the theology of the cross or the resurrection, i think it's safe to say that the highlight of her easter was her easter basket. she loved it. let me rephrase... the highlight of her easter was the sunscreen that was in her easter basket. yes, sunscreen. i filled her basket with a few items that we needed to get anyway (i know, i'm thrifty like that) aveeno lotion that i adore, butt paste, bath wash and baby sunscreen. and she literally played with that bottle of sunscreen for what seemed like ages (especially for bella, our little busy-body!) she also got some new onesies, cute new pj's, some banana cookies and a stuffed easter bunny... and another one of her favs: bunny ears. this girl won't keep anything on her head, but once she saw herself in the mirror with those bunny ears on, she wouldn't touch them. guess she thought she looked pretty cool as a bunny. and i have to say, she was the cutest lil bunny i have ever seen :)

we had a great easter. so blessed by many things in our lives but most of all our loving and faithful savior!

multitude monday.

146. bella in her easter dress.

147. watching "passion of the christ" with nick (and lots of tissues).

148. reeses pieces eggs.

149. the sight of a wooden cross.

150. old easter hymns.

151. celebrating the resurrection of my king gathered in community with others.

152. the fact that jesus triumphed over death... and what that means.

153. hope.

"darkness gives way to light. despair gives way to hope. fear gives way to peace. sorrow gives way to joy. because he is alive."

multitude monday.

138. seeing old friends. love.

139. bella's chubby cheeks. and the little rolls of pudge on her legs. adorable.

140. old shudders i was just given by a friend, ready for a coat of spray paint and my bedroom wall!

141. church.

142. seeing nick enjoy being with special people that have been in my life for years and years.

143. god's reassuring promises. his comfort and hope.

144. blueberry muffins + turkey bacon.

145. target. you know, our second home.

multitude monday.

93. holding my sleeping baby girl.

94. yellow pom-pom flowers. so cheeful and happy. i'm obsessed with them.

95. gloomy days and pajamas.

96. homemade cinnamon rolls and coffee on a lazy sunday morning.

97. bella's soft, chubby hands and how they feel grasped in mine.

98. an inspiring church service.

99. soft blankets.

100. the familiarity and comfort of my husband.

101. sharing cadillac fajitas at seven salsas with the man i went on a first date with there four years ago.

102. hanging out with my cousin, rachel who i haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with in probably ten years thanks to college, grad school and living out of state.

103. snuggling with my sick bella. even at two oclock in the morning, i am thankful for the sweet time with my baby in our rocking chair.

before--or after--you say "i do" (part one).

one thing i'm passionate about (if you haven't figured this out already) is improving marriages in our society. i wrote this article a few years ago when i was working as a counselor on staff at irving bible church. it was for a friend of ours who asked me to create something for his blog and a series he was doing on singleness, dating and marriage. robert asked me to write on three things i thought contributed to hardship in marriage. whether you are single, dating or married i think it's important to challenge ourselves in this area. we can (and should) always be improving ourselves, which in turn, will improve our relationships.

with valentine's day around the corner, i decided to dig out this article and post it in a three part series on my blog. it challenges me to stay proactive in my marriage and i hope that it may encourage and challenge you--whether single or married--to live out what jesus calls us to.

part one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------as we look around it is impossible to deny the state of marriage today in our society.

divorces are happening at an alarming rate, our society tells us if we're not "happy" to jump ship, and mainstream media seemingly applauds adultery presenting it as a glamorous option within marriage. it would be highly negligent of us as a Church not to examine the cracks in the sanctity of marriage within our culture to see what is at the root of its brokenness. as i have met with countless men and women as a pastoral counselor, i have seen several patterns contributing to such pitfalls within marriage. i'd like to outline three of them in this article--three ways to increase the likelihood of conflict and hardship within your marriage... current or future.

making marriage your everything

this pitfall establishes itself early on... well before marriage in most cases. our hearts begin to long for the love of a person who will live life with us. this desire in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing; however, it can become very harmful if marriage is set as "life's biggest goal". before we know it, we've begun putting our life on hold until "the one" comes and sweeps us off our feet. this is where the danger begins. when this poor person does come, unbeknownst to them, they have all the pressure of the world on their shoulders because we have made them our everything...the fulfillment of all of our dreams, our satisfaction, our first love, our main goal in life.

can you see the danger here? i remember struggling with this so much at times during my singleness. i wanted so badly to have that companion, that best friend, that man i was going to do life with. i had ten... yes, ten... bridesmaids dresses hanging in my closet, one of them i wore in my sister's wedding who is almost four years younger than me. i remember it being a struggle to fully live and enjoy those years being single. and now, as hard and lonely as they were at times, i have moments of missing them because they were some of the sweetest years of my life.

jesus found me in that season and helped me see that it was HIM and me doing life together. i remember my dad telling me "megan, even after you get married, it's always going to be you and jesus." if the lord did have marriage for me, i wanted my husband to be attracted to me because of the way i was running after jesus and making him my life... because that's what i wanted to do together in our marriage.

i have also seen married couples who make marriage their everything and at some point in their journey together, they're bound to be sorely disappointed. god made us for relationship. and that doesn't mean just with our spouse; it means with his people--single, married, old and young. period. once couples return from their honeymoon, there is a temptation to shut others out and just enjoy each other. while this definitely needs to happen at times to grow and enrich a martial relationship, there is so much joy that takes place in reaching out to others, getting involved in ministry, having alone time and time with individual friends (girl time/guy time) that is essential for a healthy, happy marriage. in their book just how married do you want to be?, authors jim and sarah sumner touch on the importance of living in community as a married couple:

"every christian couple needs to be in christian community. couples who get along well need it every bit as much as couples who argue and fight. being active in christ's body is part of what it means to love the church's head, christ jesus. authentic christian community is interpersonal. being in it is not the same as merely attending church. to be in christian community is to be relationally connected with other people who are connected to jesus christ." (just how married do you want to be? p. 156)

this again, is a pattern that begins in a dating relationship; before one even enters marriage. if you're dating, make sure to surround your relationship with community. not only will this help establish a sense of accountability for both you and your partner, but it will also keep your sole focus and attention off of each other and help remind you both that there is a world that exists outside your dating relationship! stay grounded in your church community, in your friendships. don't center your entire life around your romantic relationship. this will only assist in creating a pattern of unhealthiness in your relationship. make sure you're spending time apart and enjoying your own individual friendships, ministries and activities. if you're expecting your spouse to be your everything, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and you're guaranteed to cause your spouse undue frustration. that is *not* the way god designed marriage to be. he wants to be our number one love, passion and desire. no one and nothing else is designed to fulfill that position in our lives, including our spouse.

when my husband and i were first falling in love, he always made a point to tell me that i was his "second love." he told me that i will never be his first, nor should he ever be mine. i found myself getting annoyed when he would tell me that; it sounded so abrasive to me! now, i'm so thankful that my husband reminds me of that because it reminds me of my place in his life, and where his place in mine should be. this order was not instituted after we walked down the aisle; it was established in each of our lives long before we met one another. this only helped us keep god where he needs to be--as number one; not only in our individual lives, but in our life together.

**stay tuned for parts 2 and 3...