see you soon, grampy.

on monday, august 5, 2013 my grampy went to be with jesus.

his health had been poor over the past few months and it was incredibly hard to watch him change and for the grandfather i had always known to be taken away from me.  while i am sad, i am just so thankful that he is whole and healthy again and his suffering here on earth is over.

during one of my visits a few months back, he wouldn't let go of my hand.  it was precious.

you see, my sister and i have always been so very close to our grandparents.  i would still come to their house to stay overnight well in to my college years.  one of our many traditions was that every year on december 23, gret and i would get in our pj's and drive around with grammy and grampy looking at lights.  we would spend the night and wake up to my grammy's homemade popovers for breakfast.  even after we were both married, we all piled into my parent's honda pilot and continued the tradition, bringing our husbands along :)  we were blessed with such a special relationship with them, for which i am so grateful.  gret and i both wrote pieces to be read at grampy's funeral today.  this was what i wrote:

a lobster feed on the beach of our old family cottage

i have been so blessed with the best grandparents.  

i say grandparents because it's hard to imagine grampy apart from grammy.  they were always together; each other's best friend, constant companion and sometimes continual pest as is the case with people who are blessed to be married as long as they were.  it's impossible for me to think of my childhood without thinking of my grandparents.  we did everything together; family vacations, holiday celebrations, and almost ever single sunday after church we had lunch... our family and theirs.  since my dad was an only child, being their only granddaugthers was a definite perk for gretchen and me.  some say we were spoiled; i wouldn't disagree with that.  but i honestly look at our relationship with my grandparents as one of my life's greatest blessings.  so much of who i am is grounded in their legacy, time spent at their house and countless hours of playing games, talking and eating meals around their table.  nick&i are so honored and blessed to have the privilege of raising our girls in my grandparents old house; it carries so many sweet memories for me and was such a place of comfort, warmth and love.

at my wedding

i remember being little and saying to my parents "grampy is just SO LOVEABLE!" i think it's pretty remarkable that my young mind was able to pick up on that characteristic of my grandfather at such an early age.  that's exactly what he was; loveable.  i don't know of any person that didn't like my grampy.  he was warm and kind and so thoughtful of others.  even in his last months when he was in the hospital or healthcare facility, whenever i went to visit him he was very concerned that i was comfortable and had a place to sit.  that's just who he was.  it warms my heart to think of it.  he was also incredibly generous.  there were many times i would be leaving to head back to college, or fly back to dallas when i remember standing at the airport and he'd discreetly hand me a twenty dollar bill to use to get something to eat.  he also loved children.  i had so much fun taking bella and emmy to go visit my grandparents when they lived at sunbury village.  we looked forward to those special visits and i can still see his face light up when he saw the girls and i at the door.  when i think back to how i saw my grandfather growing up, the biggest thing was that i always knew he loved me.  he was such an important part of my life because he wouldn't have had it any other way.  he was a permanent fixture at every single one of my basketball games or school concerts.  many of my childhood friends grew up coming to my grandparents house with me; everyone knew them and loved them.  i can still feel the warmth of walking up my grandparents walkway on sundays after church, being greeted at the door by my grampy's hugs and the smells of my grandmother cooking a family meal.  he was so much a part of the love and warmth of my childhood, and who i am today.

the first time he met bella

i could fill hundreds of pages with special memories of my grampy.  i also could write a few funny stories about him as well.  he was always making us laugh with his quirky sense of humor and sayings.  everything was as (blank) as a goose; as cold as a goose, as full as a goose, as noisy as a goose... and grammy would always laugh the way she did when he would say something funny without meaning to be.  and gretchen and i had certain things we'd always beg him to do; drive us down the old standpipe hill was one of them, we thought it was a roller coaster ride and he made it so fun.  we also would always ask him to say this old phrase he used in the coast guard that we thought was hilarious: eespidillyoatendoatboboskawatendot.  i still don't know what it means, but i always would laugh and laugh whenever we'd get him to say it.  he also did a mean hula dance that would make us giggle until our bellies hurt.  he was good-spirited, and never treated us like we were annoyances... he loved making us laugh and enjoyed having fun.  

out to eat with nick&i at one of their fav restaurants

i have one vision of my grandfather that i hope i never forget because it makes me laugh every time i think of it: i never wanted my grandparents to come to the airport whenever i had to go back to ohio or dallas.  it just made me too sad to say goodbye to them, so i always wished they wouldn't come, but of course they did; every single time.  even if my flight was at 5 am; they'd be there.  one day, my dad and i had gotten to the airport early.  they had changed my gate from upstairs to downstairs but the screens hadn't been updated so when my grandparents arrived, they stepped onto the escalator and began to go upstairs.  my dad called to them to let them know the gate had been changed.  i think my grandmother just continued to ride the escalator up, and then came down the stairs however my grandfather turned around and started walking down as fast as he could... realizing it was a losing battle and he was only about four or five steps up from the bottom, he thought for a minute before completely jumping off the escalator  and landing in a heap on the floor at the bottom.  dad and i went running but couldn't contain our laughter.  having the great sense of humor he did, grampy was already laughing at himself by the time we could help him up off the floor.  that's another thing i always loved about him; he loved to laugh, even at his own expense.

my grandfather was very private about his faith.  grammy is the opposite; we'd always find her reading her bible or her daily bread and praying for us before bed, but grampy was much more quiet.  i remember one day when i was in high school finding a bible that was underlined through and through.  i just assumed it was my grandmother's because of her outspoken relationship with jesus, but found out that it was actually my grampy's.  i have thought of that so much over the last few years, and how comforting that was to me to know that he might not have talked about his beliefs or his relationship with the lord much, but it was definitely there.  in the last few months we had several talks with grampy about heaven and being ready to see his savior.  he never liked talking about it because he was never one to acknowledge the fact that he was aging and was eventually going to leave this earth.  but something changed two years ago when he lost his only child, my dad.  to say he had a hard time grieving the loss of my dad would be an understatement.  it crushed his heart and his soul, and something about his vigor for living until he was 100 was a bit deflated.  days before he died he was able to tell a hospice worker that he was ready to see his son again.  the thought of them reuniting in the presence of jesus brings tears to my eyes.  broken is made whole, old is made new... i don't know what our family would've done the past year and a halfwithout the promise of heaven.  

christmas eve 2010

thank you, grampy for being the best grandfather i could've ever asked for.  thank you for passing on your love of people, generous spirit and kind heart.  i am so thankful for so many years of precious memories and for such a special relationship with you and grammy.  you always loved me well, you always made me laugh and with you i always felt at home.  i loved our conversations about what life was like when you were growing up, stories about living at the lucerne inn in the winters and what it was like trying to woo grammy, who would later become your bride.  i am so thankful for you, and feel so incredibly blessed to have been your granddaughter.  while i will miss our visits and watching you with my girls, my heart feels so full knowing that you are with dad again, your only child whom you loved so much.  we'll all be there soon together again; in the blink of an eye.  and even though grammy was a great cook, i think our sunday dinners around a huge banquet table in heaven will be even better.

so happy thinking about the reunion of my grampy with my dad, his only child

i love you so much, grampy.  thank you for everything.  see you soon.

a pumpkin coach, some reindeer & the white mountains.

i wasn't kidding when i said we had a busy stretch.  we got home from our two week trip to dallas thursday night after midnight and by sunday morning, we were back on the road again.  this time, headed for new hampshire. growing up, our family vacays usually included a trip to new hampshire.  it's a beautiful state, full of mountains and forests and lakes.  we always stayed in this one hotel and i have memories of sitting in the restaurant overlooking chair lifts on the ski slopes, and my dad endlessly throwing our room key in the pool for gretchen and i to dive for it.  in the middle of the white mountains sit two family amusement parks: storyland and santa's village.  if you grew up in new england, you probably know exactly what i'm talking about.  it seems to be a rite of passage for any kid in these parts.  it's like: boston red sox fan?  check.  eat peanut butter and fluff sandwiches?  double check.  been to storyland and santa's village?  check, check, check.

told ya.

i couldn't think of a better vacation to take this summer with my family... perfect nostalgia.  i was nervous about such a trip conjuring up memories and making me sad that my dad wasn't with us.  but instead, i just kept thinking: he is loving the fact that we are doing this.

here is a rundown.

sunday
left bright & early, and made the usual stop at the newport d&d for a cup of joe.  made it to north conway in time for lunch and happened to see a "thomas the train" event at the train station.  you can imagine jude and bella's excitment.  we wove our way through the mountains to our hotel, which included a room with bunk beds that, again, bella and jude were quite pumped about.  we went out to dinner, did some grocery shopping, got settled and hit the hay.

monday
storyland!  after breakfast at the hotel, we made our way to storyland.  i forgot how cute that place is.  it incorporates several children's stories, nursery ryhmes and fairy tales, including a spinning teacup ride (alice in wonderland), a trip to heidi's grandfather's cabin (remember that shirley temple classic?), the old woman in the shoe, and the highlight of our whole vacation... cinderella's castle.  so, so cute.  it took bella a bit to warm up to the rides, but no time at all to cozy up to her fav princess.  almost a week later, and every night before she goes to bed, i lay down beside her and she tells me allllll about seeing cinderella's castle, her glass slippers, riding in her pumpkin coach and seeing prince charming.  one of my favorite moments of being a mama to date :)

my aunt and mom were so sweet, helping so much with the babies so we could all take the bigger kids on rides and not miss a thing.  they were troopers and we were so grateful for their help!  bella missed the 36 inch cut off line by just a hair, so she wasn't able to go on some of the bigger rides, but we still found tons to do!

tuesday
after breakfast, us and the keezers headed for the outlet stores in north conway.  it was a bit stressful with all the kids, but when they started to tire, the guys took bella and jude back to the hotel for lunch and naps. my mom, aunt and rach joined gret and i and the babies for lunch and more shopping.  i think lucy cried the whole time we were in american eagle, and then emmy cried the whole time we were in the gap.  so after those two stops, gret and i were ready to head back with our cranky munchkins.  that evening we got to go on a cornwell/keezer double date and it was so fun... and also, so kid-free, which was amazing.  we found an awesome little pub and had a great time.  perfect night.

wednesday
santa's village!  we packed up, loaded our cars and left our hotel that morning, headed through the white mountains for about an hour drive.  it was *beautiful*.  santa's village is an amusement park that transports its visitors into christmastime, even in july, constantly playing christmas music, decorated in "snow" and lots of red and green and providing countless rides and shows.  bella got to "work" in santa's workshop and made her very own princess hat.  she went to a bakery where she decorated (and ate... obviously) a gingerbread cookie.  aaaand she got to feed santa's reindeer.  we also appreciated them keepin it real with a huge nativity set; bella gave baby jesus kisses, jude gave him a high five and they both "rode" on some sheep.  too cute.  bella kept asking for cinderella, but loved every second of the christmas-y park.  she even got to ride a roller coaster.  she was completely silent the entire time, just staring ahead.  i leaned over and asked her if she liked it and she said "no!  i don't!" but when it was all over, she totally changed her tune.  jude, brian, nick&i got to ride our second log flume ride of the trip (think waaaaaaaay mini splash mountain).  jude said he wanted me to take him, so he sat in front of me and i held onto him for dear life as he screamed the whole way down :)

santa's village was a great way to end our vacay... and maybe, just maybe this year bella won't be so terrified of santa after our visit.  does this pic ring a bell??

one can only hope.

we had a blast!  jude and bella got along so well and loved every minute of our activities (okay, except the shopping) and lucy and emmy were full of cuteness, which is really all we can expect at this point.  so beyond grateful for my family... we have weathered a tough year and have managed to draw closer to one another and make some special memories in the midst of it all, knowing just how short this life can be.  dad would be proud.  i just know it.

lucy mae.

meet my niece!

lucy mae keezer was born on her uncle nick's birthday, march 23, 2012! she weighed 8 pounds, 9 ounces and has a head full of black hair! i was so excited and grateful to be able to be at the hospital for her birth. when my nephew, jude, was born nick&i were living in dallas and i had to hear about everything afterwards, and only saw pictures of him until i met him a few months later. it was heartbreaking! so this time was so much fun. i got to snuggle with her alot (she's quite the cuddle bug) and be there with my sister which was so special.

bella LOVED her new cousin! she is a huge fan of babies right now and is such a little mama. it's so fun to watch that maternal instinct come out in her. she wanted to keep hugging and kissing "baby wooocy" and cried when we had to leave her. it was adorable. and gave me so much hope for her adjustment to emmy.

we haven't gotten to see lucy since saturday because bella was sick with a cold at the beginning of the week, and then i was at the end of the week. not so much fun. and we really miss her!

welcome to the world, lucy mae! we are going to have so much fun :)

a sugar&spice baby shower.

my sister is due in almost exactly a month with my sweet niece, lucy mae. yes, apparently we like to be pregnant together :) my nephew jude and bella are only four months apart, and this time lucy and emmy will only be a month apart! exciting times.

this past weekend we had a little baby shower for her at my house. i love planning parties. especially ones for those i love. i wanted to make it really special and pretty. my sister is not super girlie, and she doesn't like pink. which is completely opposite of me. so i was constantly trying to weigh out wanting to make her shower pretty and sweet, but not too frou frou.

for this pink-loving-girlie-mama-to-be-of-two-girls this posed a bit of a challenge. but i found this really pretty shower when i was googling ideas one day that gave me some inspiration. i knew there was no way it would be this fancy schmancy, but it helped give me a bit of a vision since everything else was oozing with pink!

i'm not big into themes... don't like them when they are too overdone. but i do like to use a subtle theme that ties everything together and provides inspiration for a starting point in planning. for lucy's shower, i chose "sugar&spice". you know... "sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of." i made a garland out of fabric scraps i had in my stash by tearing long strips and tying them each to a long strand of turquoise ribbon. the colors worked well and provided a base for the shower decor; i tried to emphasize turquoise, yellow and green with hints of orange and a bit of pink (you can't have a baby shower for a little girl and completely escape it!) this garland provided the *perfect* backdrop to the food table.

i borrowed a white eyelet lace tablecloth from my mom and bought some pretty yellow spider mums for the center of the table. the tray i modpodged with pretty vintage scrapbook paper for bella's first birthday party last year. it's still one of my favorite centerpieces and is always on our dining room table.

i made little place cards to label the food using scrapbook paper and embellished them with fabric and ribbon. i like to try to do that for parties so that guests know what they're putting on their plates...

speaking of the food... it was oh-so-delish. i requested some of my sister's favorites from our family and close friends, following a brunch theme. my mom brought a fruit salad, my aunt made a fruit and chocolate cake trifle, gretchen's mother-in-law made mini quiches and almond cake squares, her sister-in-law kate brought french breakfast muffins, our friend tanya made a french toast bake, another friend emily brought a crackers&cheese platter and i made caprese salad skewers.

our aunt dawn brought some of gret's favorite candy: twizzlers, malted milk balls and sour patch kids. i filled vases and mason jars with the candy and added them to the table.

the cake was beautiful! our friend jen owns a cake business and made this *gorgeous* vintage-y chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. so lovely.

the day was really special. my sister was showered with lots of love, gifts, and best of all she was surrounded by the presence of close friends and family. little lucy will be very well loved and so blessed to have such a great mama and family, praying for her and walking through life next to her.

lucy mae, we can't wait to meet you! love you sweet little girl!

this post is linked up to these *lovely* blogs:
newlyweds on a budget
mommy by day crafter by night
chef in training
homemaker in heels