to my sweet, sweet girls.
today, you are so little. you look to daddy and me to take care of every need that you have. you ask for our kisses on your scrapes and bruises. you love to snuggle on our laps. and your whole world is all about what happens in this cozy little home of ours.
you twirl around in tulle and ruffles, shoes mismatched on either foot. cares and worries that weigh down your mind are limited to being able to find a princess dress to wear, or if your favorite pair of pajamas are in the laundry (which, i will tell you now... they probably are). i love watching you experience the world in such carefree beauty and pure innocence.
your daddy is your hero. you reach up toward him with longing arms, ready to be swept up and secure. you gaze at him with admiration sparkling in your eyes; you beg him to chase you and the air fills with shrieks and giggles as you circle through the hallway, your little feet pounding the floor. little do you know right now, but you are watching him; learning you are valuable because of his love for you. seeing how he loves your mama, how he dances with me through the kitchen and sings into my ear... and someday, when you're much older, you may think about a man you want to live this life with... and i hope you'll think of your daddy and me.
we are definitely not perfect and have a whole lot to learn, and things that we constantly have to change. but our goal is to be an example for you of what you may want someday. an example of two imperfect people that choose to love god and one another every single day. who mess up, who laugh together, who forgive, and who love wholeheartedly. i wanted to share with you a few things we have learned along the way, and other pieces of advice that wise people have told us. someday, you may make one of the biggest decisions of your life when you choose to say yes (or no) to someone who asks you to be his wife. and i would not be doing my job as a mother if i didn't give you a few things to consider or put into practice. someday.
don't make marriage your number one. make being a godly, kindhearted, good person your number one. enjoy life, have fun, go after your dreams and seek to grow in the lord. this should be your number one. i heard someone say once that you should run the race of this life that is set out before you, with your eyes focused on jesus, and at some point, if you look over and see someone running with you... well, there may be your teammate. but don't ever run after anyone. you are precious and valuable... run after god and the rest will fall into place. be confident in the woman that you are; how you are gifted, what you love to do, your life passions... don't wait for a man to define who you are. you are beautiful, unique and special and so worthy; not because of being a "mrs", but because the lord of the universe thinks so.
be a good friend and value relationships. you will hear us say this your entire childhood, but daddy and i so strongly believe in the importance of relationships. we each had strong friendships in place before we ever met each other, and we've often said if one of us didn't, what a huge red flag that would have been. friendships teach us how to love someone else, how to resolve conflict, how to receive criticism, how to spur one another on through good times and bad. hold fast to those friendships; don't give them up when you begin to fall in love, or when you get married. your husband is not meant to fulfill all of your needs, and you aren't meant to satisfy all of his. girlfriends have a unique and special place in your life; value them. and if a man doesn't have good friendships with other guys in his life, consider why. the absence of friendship or the ability to stick in a friendship long term *may* be indicative of other character flaws that you may not see.
seek advice and wisdom from others, and be humble and teachable. when you're young and in love, it will sometimes feel as if you can take on the world. it's easy to get swept up in romance, therefore it's even more crucial to have people in your life to hold you accountable and breathe perspective into your floating-on-a-cloud-world. to ask you the hard questions. to help walk you through the ups and downs of bringing two lives together. and, if the man you are with doesn't think he needs to seek (or heed) the advice of others, pay attention to that too. there's a lot to be said for a man with humility, let me tell you this. when daddy and i were engaged, we spent six months meeting with a much more seasoned married couple. they went through a book with us, spent time sharing with us, challenging us and imparting invaluable truths that have impacted our marriage to this day. people who have been married longer than you, well they know more and have experienced more. pay attention. listen. heed. take what you like and leave the rest.
have fun. be comfortable as you are dating. whoever you marry should be your best friend. it's not always easy, but it should be fun, comfortable and you should be able to laugh. a lot. eat cheeseburgers at midnight, sit in the rain while it messes up your hair, wear sweats and no make up and find ease in trusting god with your heart as you seek to know more about the man that has your attention. and don't be afraid to eat off his plate, even on your first date. i totally did that with your daddy, and look where we are today. some things are meant to get right out in the open and us cornwell girls, well, we like our food.
finally, whomever you choose to walk through this life with, make sure he makes you a better person. make sure he values you with his entire being; and cherish him just as much. love his family and his friends, and become a part of his world. and make sure that he in turn values the things and people that are important to you. also: remember that it's not all about you! relationships and marriage is give and take. make sure that you aren't taking more than you are giving, and vice versa. challenge and admonish one another with love; marriage is a powerful tool in which god makes us look more and more like him. you should marry someone not only because you love them; but because you are convinced that you can serve the lord better with him by your side, than without.
marriage it's not always easy, and it is hard work. but it's also beautiful and life giving when we are seeking after the one who holds our hearts.
someday, instead of twirling in circles in a dress with pink sequins and a tulle skirt, you may be walking toward a man in a dress made of white. someday, instead of brushing your hair off your forehead at bedtime and singing you your favorite song, your daddy may be handing you off to another man; one who has promised to take his place in being your protector, your hero, your love. someday seems very far off, but i know it is much closer than i'd like to think. so for now, i will continue to kiss your scraped up knees and hold your sweet faces in my hands, telling you just how much i love you. i will continue loving your daddy with every fiber of my being, asking for forgiveness when i've done wrong, and seeking to respect him for the man that he is. because i know that someday is right around the corner, and i want to pour my heart into preparing you for what's to come, and raising you to be women that follow after the heart of jesus.
"someday" begins with our everyday. i am with you and for you. and i take such great joy in being your mom and the wife of your dad.
love you to the moon and back (and back and back),
mama
