don't worry about anything...

 i'm pretty sure this verse in the fourth chapter of phillipians was written for me.  and other mamas out there who worry endlessly about their little one(s).  or big ones.  because i've heard a mama never stops worrying.

awesome.

anyone who knows me knows that i am a worrier.  big time.  sometimes i sit with nick and tell him all of the things that i'm worried about.  you should see the look on his face.  one time he told me "i really feel bad for you that you live like this."  i was shocked.  i am as equally flabbergasted by the fact that he doesn't fret about all of the things that i find so worrisome as he is about my always-racing-fearful-thoughts.

one of the many reasons we make a good pair.

my sweet bella grace has given me reason to worry from the time she was in my womb.  at our 20 week sonogram, we were over-the-moon excited to finally find out the gender of this baby that had taken over my belly.  before we heard the words "it's a girl!" our doctor informed us that bella's hearbeat had an irregularity and we would have to get it checked out further.  i remember leaving the appointment, getting into the elevator and resting my head on nick's shoulder, tears tumbling down my face.  to most people, it probably didn't seem all that uncommon... but to us, it was incredibly scary.  you see, nick's brother passed away when he was two years old due to heart complications.  to say we were scared would be an understatement.

we were terrified.

thankfully, everything turned out to be just fine with little bella.  her heartbeat corrected itself within days and she was born perfectly healthy.  but god used that scary time to teach me from the very beginning that my daughter is not my own.  and i will spend the rest of my life turning both of my girls over to his almighty hands.

i've known this sweet girl for two years now and she absolutely has my heart.  she can be a complete turkey, i promise you, but she is one of the greatest joys of my life.  and when she hurts, i hurt.  bella has *horrible* eczema.  it gets really, really bad.  and it makes her susceptible to all kinds of infections and sicknesses.  totally not fun.  this summer she has had impetigo, a yeast infection, a weird virus (rash, high fever, vomitting) and pulled her arm out of it's socket (on a day trip to the coast... complete with a visit to the emergency room and everything).

i'm constantly resisting the urge to google (which makes nick go crazy... a few weeks ago i thought she had meningitis and a week later i was afraid she was diabetic) or to let my thoughts start trailing too badly, or else i can end up a mess.  is there another reason her immune system is weak?  what if the eczema doesn't go away?  what if kids make fun of her in school because of it?  what if she catches something reallllly bad?  and on and on it goes.

so at night, after i put them to bed, i pray over them and ask god to help me to trust them to his care.  i can't do it on my own.  i want to hold on to them so badly, to protect them from anything and everything that could cause them any pain.  but i know i can't.  and i need him to help me continually turn my precious girls over to his almighty hands.  he is much more capable than i.  and his plans for them will use whatever pain they endure and weave it into a beautiful masterpiece that only he could create.

and that is what i want more than anything for my daughters.

so.  don't worry.  trust god.  learn to let go.  and last but not least, don't use google as a diagnostic tool.  these are the things that i am learning.

lord, help me not to hover.  help me trust these girls--these little ones that have my heart--to your sovereign care.  help me to live more freely, not bound by worry, but rather trusting in the plans you have for them and that you are writing for each of them a beautiful story; for you are good.

multitude monday.

451.  when bella loops her arms around my neck and pulls my face in toward hers.
452.  emmy's sweetness.  i could just eat her right up!
453.  watching nick dance with bella.  the way she laughs when he twirls her.  the way he looks at her with such love.
454.  cool summer breezes.
455.  weekend mornings; all four of us snuggled into bed together.
456.  chats with my nephew jude.  he's wicked awesome.
457.  picnic dinners.
458.  watching bella play at the park.
459.  when nick wins football games.  and more importantly; seeing his students love him.  so proud of him and the impact he is having on young lives.
460.  emmy's kissable cheeks.
461.  pedicures.  enough said.
462.  having bella request me to sing "this is my father's world" before bedtime.  how cute is that?
463.  outdoor festivals.
464.  worship.  what would i do without my jesus?

heaven.

today marks nine months since i last kissed my dad's forehead those early morning hours of thanksgiving day.  i find that so hard to believe.  because it seems like a lifetime since he's been gone.

i've been teaching bella the names of her grandparents lately.  last night i quizzed her for about twenty minutes until she got them all (these are the things we do while daddy is at football practice).  she was having fun, i promise :) 

we started talking about bampy and i asked her where he was.  she answered with her usual response "in heaven."  so we talked about people he was in heaven with.  i know she's only two, but i can see the little wheels in her head turning.

tonight, at dinner, i quizzed her again to show nick her skills.  then i said: "bella, where's bampy?"  she took a bite of her pita chips (which, by the way, were the only things on her plate she would eat tonight.  lovely) and thought for a minute, her big brown eyes starting off in deep concentration.  then, her face lit up and she excitedly answered "in heaven!" and glancing down at her baby sister who was in her bouncer seat she said "i want to go!  emmy you want to go to heaven, too?!"

awww geez.  my sweet little ones teach me something on nearly a daily basis.  whether it's revealing things to me about my flaws and weaknesses, reminding me of the heart of our heavenly father, or setting me straight in so many ways.  and tonight, i was struck by the innocent heart of my two year old.  unencumbered by fear, not weighted down by the things of this world.  i loved that.

bella's response did catch me by surprise.  and i admit, i chuckled nervously and felt tears sting my eyes thinking "ummmm no.  i'm certainly not ready for that, thank you very much."  while nick sat there, cool as a cucumber and said "bella, that's a good thought, isn't it?"

i love bella's sweet little heart.  and while i'm so not ready for anyone else i love to be going to heaven any time soon, i was reminded tonight through my toddler, that we should all be preparing and anxiously awaiting our eternal home.

from the mouths of babes, folks.

thank you, bella grace.  for once again teaching your mama.  you are an example to me in so many ways.  love you, sweets.

what i'm loving.

a few things i'm loving these days...

- two of my latest antique finds.  a gorgeous green buffet with crystal knobs and a sweet scalloped mantel shelf perfect for our entryway.
- mint green.
- new kicks for running.  nike free runs.  love em.  (and yes, they really are that bright)

- our backyard fire pit.  makes for cheap date nights and no babysitter required.

- my new print.  just makes me smile.  can't wait to buy a few more from this etsy store!

- coconut oil for bella's eczema.  we sing a song about coconut creme while i slather it on.  whatever works, right?

- speaking of coconut cream... my newest coffee obsession.  holy YUM.

- bruschetta.  we've had it multiple times every week.  i can't help it.  so. freaking. good.  especially when paired with wine, a beloved show on netflix, and a handsome guy.

- this jcrew knockoff necklace.  i've been swooning over the real one but it's one fifty which is so far out of our budget i can't even say.  BUT i found this one for twenty and it looks just like the real thing.  loooooove.

- running.  getting back into it post-emmy and it feels awesome.  i love my little running buddy, this nike ipod sensor.  just stick in the bottom of your shoe and it will track how far you run (and talk to you along the way).  i still have a long way to go to get back into the shape i'd like to be in, but just ran a 5k with my aunts this weekend.  the silver lining?  i'm running further now at 4 months post-partum than i did was i was in high school.  

- i have a thing for vintage hankies these days.  they just make my heart happy.  i want to collect a bunch so that the girls can have tea parties and we can use them.  how cute is that?

- handfuls of raw almonds.

- my sweet, sweet girls.  i love them so!

- listening to tony bennett, frank sinatra and nat king cole with nick.  we are such old souls.  and i love it.

multitude monday.

438.  sandy toes.
439.  salty ocean air.
440.  backyard firepit + tony bennett + smores + holding hands in the quiet night.
441.  picnics on the living room floor.
442.  cuddles with my sick, feverish sweetie pie.  and the fact that she's feeling better.
443.  ice cream cones by the sea.
444.  emmy's squeals.
445.  running in the rain.
446.  family breakfasts.  especially at geaghans.
447.  bella's singing.
448.  projects in the works.
449.  homemade pie crust.
450.  sunkissed skin.

a day at the beach.

bar harbor is one of our favorite places.  it's beautiful.  beaches, mountains, cute shops and cool breezes off the ocean.  it's also where nick asked me to be his wife... which makes it even better.

today, we loaded up the pumpkins and headed down east.  super fun.  here are just a few pics of our trip to the beach.

personalized plates.

a sharpie + an oven + a plate.  betcha never would've guessed this was a winning combo (okay, unless you found it on pinterest like i did).

i did this little project a few days ago.  i think i've sufficiently established the fact that i love plates on a wall.  i've been working on decorating our kitchen lately, and have an empty space over our stove i've been wanting to fill.  i also have a china oval platter from my grandmother that i thought would fit the space just perfectly.

since it had lots of emptiness in the middle, i thought it would add a personalized touch to write something on it... obviously "my cup runneth over" is the name of my blog... but it's also been a saying that's meant a lot to me over the years.  one of my favorite movies is "hope floats" and the grandmother character in the movie would always use this phrase whenever something just warmed her heart.  i loved that.  i lived with one of my best friends my senior year of college and we would pray together every night before we went to bed (when she didn't fall asleep on me.  ha!  love you, le).  we would often use movie lines when talking about how much we loved being friends.  "kindred spirits" from anne of green gables and "my cup runneth over" because we were so thankful for each other.  i know, so cute, righhhht?  (okay, totally nerdy, but we'll go with cute instead.  we really were cool, i promise...).

and now in this season of life, "my cup runneth over" represents feeling totally blessed by jesus.  no, my life is not perfect.  and yes, i've had some crappy things happen.  but you know what?  i have so much to be thankful for.  even in the middle of some pretty tough stuff.  after losing my dad this past fall, i started claiming the verse john 10:10: "the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but i come that you may have life; life abundant."  it helps me when i'm fearful, when life is hard, and reminds me of the greater purpose for which i am striving.

back to the plate.  here's an easy how-to

personalized plate

* thin sharpie
* scrap paper
* plate

- preheat oven to 350.  practice drawing your saying on a piece of scrap paper.  this helped me also gauge the dimensions as well.
- using a thin sharpie, write or draw on your plate.
- bake at 350 for 30 minutes.  when time has elapsed, turn off the oven, and allow the plate to stay in the oven until it's cooled.

voila.  a personalized plate.  i want to get colored sharpies and make birthday plates for the girls and some special holiday ones too!  but this one will go above my stove.  i spend so much time in the kitchen that i wanted this there as a reminder on the hard days or on the mundane ones... that god is good... all the time.

let me know if you make one!  a fun project with older kiddos, too :) 

snapshots.

i have this friend who i love.  she is funny, sweet, thoughtful, stylish and beautiful.  and she's also the most amazing photographer.  i have been a fan of her work from the beginning.  she is just super talented!  she's taken  photos of our family ever since bella was born and let me tell you, i just feel so blessed.

anyone who knows me knows my love for photographs.  i mean, going back to my high school days everything from my bedroom to my school locker was littered with pictures.  so naturally, as an adult, so is my home.  i am so grateful for the beautiful family pics my sweet friend has taken of the ones i love most!  our house is like a shrine to amanda kate photography.  no joke.

when we were back in dallas last month, i knew i wanted to book a photo sesh with her.  i just love the way the photos turned out!  and they kind of inspired me to give my blog a new look... new photos, new blog.  ya know, it goes.

here's a few of my favs... i especially *love* the ones of the girls.  they literally brought me to tears.  can't wait to frame these babies:

told ya.  she's good.  and the people in these photos?  yep, they are pretty much my world.

what's for dinner tonight {delish bruschetta}.

delish bruschetta.  yeah, i totally made that name up.  i figured if i added the "delish" infront of it, it would sound more legit.

did it work?

anyway.  we have this awesome farmer's market in the town where we live.  it's actually right down the street from our house... we could walk to it!  nick&i have been wanting to go alllllll summer (one of the things on our summer "to do" list!).  this past saturday it was raining and just blahhhh-like but we loaded up the girls and our trusty double stroller and headed that way.

i should just say that markets are one of my favorite things.

we bought some zucchini and summer squash, tomatoes, onion, fresh basil and farm fresh eggs.  i knew  just what i wanted to make with our new produce.  on the menu for this week: quiche (with our farm eggs), garden cheese pizza (with the zucchini, onion and tomatoes) and (thus the title of this post)... bruschetta.

i got to hang with some of my bff's this last week and my friend, kellie, made super yummy bruschetta. it's one of my fav things but for some reason i've always been a bit intimidated to make it.  weird, i know.  well chatting with my girlfriends after all our kiddos were in bed over lemon basil gimlets and delicious bruschetta was enough to inspire me.  here is my take on this italian classic.

oh so good.

delish bruschetta

* 2 large tomatoes, diced
* 1/2 onion, chopped
* 2 T. fresh chopped basil
* 2 T. olive oil
* 2 t. balsamic vinegar (add more/less, according to your taste)
* 2 garlic cloves, minced
* 1/4 t. salt
* 1/8 t. pepper
* 1 french bread baguette
* 1 ball of fresh mozzarella, sliced thinly

- combine first 8 ingredients in a small mixing bowl.
- slice baguette at an angle into several slices.  place on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees, until golden brown.
- top each slice with a spoonful of tomato mixture.  place a slice of mozzarella ontop of each, and broil until cheese is melted.

{disclaimer:} you won't want to stop eating these little slices of heaven.  there you go.  consider yourself warned.

the perfect at-home-with-a-glass-of-wine-date-food.  a light summer dinner.  i need to make some more asap.

multitude monday.

{photo source}

421.  saturday morning trip to the farmers market.
422.  hearing bella's little voice sing "this is my father's world".  adorable.
423.  the renewing hope and comfort of god's word.
424.  a perfect antique find (or two).
425.  the smell of fresh basil.
426.  church.
427.  watching my girls play with the munchkins of my high school girlfriends.  just warms my heart.
428.  pretty flowers in old mason jars.
429.  "cooking" with bella.
430.  watching the olympics with nick.  while eating dinner on the coffee table.  and drinking wine.  just the two of us.
431.  farm fresh eggs.
432.  vintage hankies.
433.  emmy's chubby thighs.  love that girls rolls!
434.  running through the city forest.
435.  decor&craft projects.
436.  time with old girl friends.  or any girl friends.  so treasured.
437.  emmy's first trip to the beach.  the ocean, saltwater, sailboats and watching bella play in the sand.  all good things.

three months.

lately i've been telling my girls: "i could kiss you for a million days and it still would never be enough!"  it's seriously true.  emmy is a little over three months now and wow do i love this little girl.  she is honestly the squeezy-est, sweetest, smiley-est baby and just fills my heart to overflowing.  the most precious little blessing.

  i honestly don't remember life without my emmy faith.  she brings so much joy into our family and our home.  to me, she resembles hope that god so graciously blessed us with during such a dark season in our lives.  her bright, shining eyes, smiles and squeals remind me on the hard days that there is still so much joy in this life.  it makes me cry to think of my dad not getting to hold her, but i feel somehow that he sees her and knows her even if not in the way i always hoped for.

here are some notes on our precious em:

- one of my fav things is when she gets her bottle before bed, she'll always find one of my fingers and grasp onto it while she eats.  it's so sweet.
- speaking of eating, nursing has been a bit of a challenge lately.  she will eat a bit and pull away to just stare at me or smile.  our second little social butterly; she always has to know what's going on.  even if it's just me and her.  but especially if big sis is jumping around the living room.

- girl loves to stare.  i try to tell her it's rude, but it's honestly so cute.  she fixates on people and just stares at them, studying everything about them.  seriously.  if i'm hold her, every time i look down at her, her little eyes are looking right at me.  i love it.
- smiles upon smiles, this little one.  she is seriously the happiest baby i've ever seen (i know, of course i'd think that, right?  i'm her mom).  but still.  it's true.  every time i go in her room to get her up in the morning, or when she wakes up from a nap, the minute she hears the door open i can see her little eyes searching the room.  and the minute she sees me, here comes the smiles.

- i love how she startles.  i know that sounds weird, but everything jumps her like crazy.  her eyes get real wide and if she's laying down, all four limbs spring wide open.
- she started "standing" about a month ago and has rolled over a couple of times.

- biggest milestone of late: i'm happy to say that she is *finally* sleeping through the night and in her own crib.  hurray.  she does so well being put down for naps and for nighttime.  puts herself to sleep so well and has been usually sleeping until about 5:30 or 6.  what a difference from the first month or so.  i am one happy mama.

- she's already a chatterbox.  one morning i had nursed her early and fell back to sleep with her between nick&i.  i woke up to her laying between us talking away as we were both sound asleep.  it was adorable.
- teething has begun.  she has her fingers, a blanket or even her entire fist in her mouth at pretty much all times.

- she's such a chill baby (once we got past the 11-1 am fussy time trying to get her to bed!).  we thought bella was a pretty easy infant, but emmy takes the cake.  she really doesn't cry much at all... there have been many days when i've been at my wits end with the "terrible twos" that i thank god for blessing me with such an easy baby!  or else i just might have lost my mind about a month ago.  thanks, ems.
- she started laughing a couple weeks ago and it's the cutest sound i think i've ever heard.

my heart has been stolen again by my littlest love.  some of my favorite moments of each day are just squeezing her, holding her in my lap, making her laugh and tickling her nose against mine.  she is such a gift and i thank god for her every day.