first day of school.

i know, i know.  i realize it's the end of september, so i'm a little late on the "back to school" post.  but, better late than never, right?

my baby started school.

i was pretty much an emotional basketcase the week before i dressed my little girl up and watched her bravely walk into her classroom, without a care in the world.  i cried every day.  i'm not even kidding.  it just hurt.  watching my babies grow up before my very eyes and knowing that i'll never get these seasons back just pains my heart.  most days.  somedays these years seem so hard.  but then i start thinking about my season as a stay at home mama to bella being over next year and my heart breaks into a million pieces.

as any mama can understand, i still picture my sweet girl as the crazy haired, chubby cheeked little girl that used to fall asleep on my chest and cuddle with me all day long.  those days seem like a lifetime ago, and yet sometimes i feel like i blinked and here we are.

now, that tiny little bundle with hair as wild as her spirit has grown into a beautiful four year old pre-k student with a heart bigger than the state she was born in (texas... so, that's pretty big...).  armed with her doc mcstuffins backback and frozen lunchbox, she couldn't wait to start her very first day of school.  our girl is ALL ABOUT friends, and she comes home excitedly chattering away each and every day about getting to spend three days a week with her friends.  every day she informs us if it's someone's birthday in her class, and then we spend part of our before dinner prayer with bella praying for the student who had a birthday and asking that jesus will help he/she turn four or five, or whatever age they're turning.  she loves learning and has been keeping a notebook here at home that she's been filling with artwork and using to practice her new letters she's learning.  it's adorable.

and the very best part?  her daddy works at her new school.  and she thinks that is just about the coolest thing in the whole wide world (and so do i).  as i was putting her in the car for her very first day, she excitedly said "mama!  i can't wait to tell all my new friends that my daddy works at our school!  they will be SO excited!" we really are so very grateful.

just watching her excitement has eased my mama heart just a little.  because as much as i may want to, i can't keep her little forever.  she is blossoming and flourishing before my very eyes.  and isn't that what this parenthood thing is all about?

letting go has never been my strong suit.  and jesus is kindly and ever so patiently teaching me what it means to let go of my children.  every.single.day.  they are not mine; they are his.  which i am really so thankful for... what a blessing it is to trust that he will fill in all of the gaps that my humanness leaves.  he will make up for all that i lack.

which is a whole lot.

this whole first day of school thing has been a big step for this mama.  in the letting-go-journey.  in the sitting-back and-watching-jesus-shape-my-baby-journey.  in getting to observe her from a different angle and i'm swelling with pride.  my bella girl is pretty special.  and i am so thankful to the lord for choosing me to be her mama.

what's for dinner tonight {cheeseburger soup}.

{source}

i used to be the girl that never would go to a restaurant and order a burger.  ever.  i just never cared that much about red meat nor did i crave it.

until i met nick.

soon into our dating, somehow i was telling him how i had been anemic and he promptly declared "you need to eat more red meat", and all of a sudden late night dates for cheeseburgers became our "thing".  and ever since then, i love a good burger.  yes, i'm now that girl.  and i fully embrace it.

in fact, one of our favorite local pizza joints has a to die for big mac pizza on their menu.  it is one of my favorite things and we actually just ate it the other night: ground beef, lettuce, cheese, pickles and the sweet, tangy "big mac" sauce... i know what you're thinking: pickles on a pizza?!  you have no idea.  where was this pizza when i was pregnant??

it's been chilly here this week and that only means one thing: the beginning of fall/cold weather/comfort food cooking... and that means lots of soup and chowders.  i've made cheeseburger soup a few times, but our trip to our pizza joint and feasting on their big mac speciality just made me want to take it up a notch... and so i did.

i added pickles.

i used this recipe as my base, and then tweaked it a bit.  the end result?  absolute deliciousness in a bowl.  with cheese.  and pickles.

need i say more?

cheeseburger soup

* 1 lb. ground beef
* 1 onion, chopped
* 2 carrots, chopped
* 2 stalks celery, chopped
* 1 t. dried basil
* 1 t. dried parsley
* 4 T. butter
* 3 c. chicken stock
* 2 medium potatoes, chopped
* 1/4 c. flour
* 1/4 c. dill pickles, diced
* a generous splash of pickle juice (sorry; didn't really measure...suit your taste!)
* 1 t. salt
* 1/2 t. pepper
* 2 c. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
* 1 1/2 c. milk
* 1/4 c. sour cream

- in a large stockpot, melt 1 T. butter over medium heat.  add onion, carrots, celery and ground beef.  cook until beef is brown.
- add chicken stock, basil, parsley and potatoes and bring to a boil.  cook until potatoes are fork tender.
- melt remaining 3 T. of butter, whisk in flour and milk until smooth.  slowly add milk mixture to the stockpot, stirring constantly.  bring to a boil and then lower heat to a simmer.
- add in pickles, juice and salt and pepper.  stir in cheese until melted.
- stir in sour cream and heat through; DO NOT BOIL.
- serve with crusty bread and be happy.  it's delicious.

enjoy!

farewell, summer.

it's a chilly day mid-september and i'm snuggled cozy on my couch under a pile of blankets.  the girls are sleeping, and i've just turned on the heat in my house for the first time.

summer is officially over.

i know, i know.  it's been over for a while now.  temperatures have dropped, short sleeves have been packed away, pumpkins are appearing on doorsteps and it's all-things-apple.  we've been back in the swing of school for a few weeks now, but i was pretty stubborn letting our beautiful little summer slip through my fingers.  it was just so lovely.  this year was the first time in all the years nick has been a teacher that he actually took his summer off... or most of it, anyway.  after a couple weeks of teaching summer school and some occasional work with a landscape company he's worked with before, it was such a gift to have this summer free from work, commitments, stressors or crazy schedules pulling us here, there and in every direction.  we packed a ton in and just enjoyed each other.  it was really, really great for our little family of four.

here are a few (okay, a million) of photos documenting some of my favorite moments:

very first day of summer vacation with my babes

liver life walk in portland in memory of my dad

blessed with the support and love of so many dear friends and family

seeing this sign still took my breath away... miss him every day

outdoor fun

backyard sprinkler

in a field of peas at treworgy's orchards

a pond & wildflowers

playing in the rain: one of our favorite things to do

strawberry picking

the girls first trip!

family fun

they ate more than they picked...

days at the lake...

the fourth of july weekend on portage lake

s'mores!

parks pond with meme's home church

cute cousins

portage lake with the rollins

sisters at dusk

moosehead lake late august

off to see our georgia family!

lots of outdoor work on our house...

windowboxes

hanging baskets

lots of flowers planted

two fruit trees in the backyard: one peach, one apple

a trip to york beach

beach day

fearless girl

us

best ice cream on earth

bella's first swim lessons

 cousin time!

emmy and baby cana: waaaaay better than a doll! ;)

what a crew!

our new hampshire adventure

emmy's first trip to the emergency room after a fall at the hotel pool...

santa's village!

family sleigh ride

sisters

feeding santa's reindeer

storyland!

pumpkin coach

teatime with cinderella

my favorites

disney junior live!

family visits!

singing with aunt jayne

breakfast with papa

playing with nonnie

taking the texas fam to one of our favorites

bathroom remodel

papa to the rescue!!  he came up from texas to help nick give our bathroom a major overhaul

first bath in their new tub

finished!

 vacation bible school

local fun

at the folk festival

rolling in the grass at the festival...

atop cadillac mountain

ice cream cones at giffords

i apologize for the picture overload, but this summer was filled with so many precious moments that i want etched in my mind forever.  as the beauty of summer fades into the crispness of fall, i am so thankful for all of these blessings.  memories i will cherish for years to come.  photos that will make up the girls childhoods.  people that are so dear to us.  snapshots stitched and woven together that make up a beautiful life.  and i'm so grateful that it is mine.

thank you, jesus.  until next summer... there are more memories to make and moments to hold dear in all of the months in between.