life after the whole thirty.

eggs, nuts, almond butter and more eggs.  

repeat.

if you've done the whole thirty (or are currently doing it), you know what i'm talking about.  but... my goodness, how this diet has changed my life.

and believe it or not: i still love eggs.

i turned thirty five in january and decided life was too short to keep living in a body that felt like it belonged to an elderly woman.  so, i bit the bullet and pledged to live thirty days without my two best friends: bread and cheese (among many other things like sugar).  little did i know what a profound impact it would have on my health.

for years i wondered if i had a gluten sensitivity... i've struggled with joint pain and inflammation since i had bella.  there were many days i'd have a conversation with myself that sounded a lot like this:

"i wonder if i would feel better and have less aches and pains if i gave up gluten?"

"probably." (as i pull a loaf pan of warm, homemade bread out of the oven and stare at it longingly)

"it would be nice to feel better..." (still staring at it longingly)

"WHATEVS... nothing feels as good as bread tastes!" (as i cut a piece, slather it with butter and resolve that i can deal with shuffling around like an old lady as long as i can still eat warm bread... or bread in any form, at any temperature, who am i kidding?).

smart, right?

what i love about the whole thirty is that it really helps you see what food(s) effect how your body feels.  everyone is different, and everyone chooses to live differently when the thirty days are up.  for me, the changes i felt in my inflammation were totally worth continuing to eat the way i had been eating for those thirty days, with some minor changes/wiggle room (i'll explain more in a bit).

what i also love about the whole thirty is it really causes you to take a step back and look at your relationship with food.  i had a couple of really stressful moments during my thirty days... and i realized how badly i wanted to reach for food to comfort me.  so i loved how this program really helped me reprogram my body--but also my mind--in so many ways.  i became very proactive at truly caring for myself... when i felt stressed, or had a bad day, i'd take a hot shower and make myself a cup of tea, talk to my husband or pray, instead of reaching for food.

and i REALLY love that i didn't have to count calories or keep track of points!  i was able to choose healthy fats like avocado and olive oil over lower calorie, yet processed foods like granola bars or baked chips...because i wasn't just trying to achieve certain numbers for the day.  there was so much freedom in that!  the focus is on real, whole foods and that makes all the difference in the world.  i wasn't starving my body, instead i was learning to fuel it with the right things.  i really felt fuller on the whole thirty than i did before.  my portions were immediately cut, and i found myself not even wanting seconds.  it was pretty crazy, and really rewarding.

so, the final rundown: i've lost sixteen pounds so far, which is awesome.  but also, not even the best part.  my inflammation has totally changed.  my taste in food and my cravings have changed.  and i am learning what it means to fuel my body, not just feed it.  is our grocery bill more expensive?  yes.  but, we weren't getting take out nearly as often (or, ever), so that cut down on costs AND even though family dinner time was sacred to us before, it became even more so.  we feed the girls what we are eating and i refuse to make them anything different (which is what we normally did, but it is harder for kids to get used to eating changes... however, i just didn't make other food an option).  they are quick to say they don't like certain foods, but we keep telling them they needed to at least have a bite because their food tastes and preferences are always changing.  one of the most rewarding byproducts of our lifestyle change has been watching their palettes grow and change... not every meal is a huge hit (as many of you who follow me on social media saw with our teary refusal of "icky meatballs"!) but they are devouring things like cabbage soup (and even asked me if they could eat it for breakfast) and the other night they asked for seconds of salad.  salad.  nick and i didn't know whether to high five each other under the table or weep tears of joy.  so i think we did both ;)

i will say this..there was a period of time my energy improved (maybe around week two?) but i was a little disappointed with how fatigued i still was after that.  i have struggled with fatigue most of my life; i literally remember being in high school and getting so run down my doctors were testing me for mono.  and, i had some stomach pains/cramping issues that were a little strange and my eczema started getting out of control (i'm still trying to get it healed).  so there were a few things that were frustrating... especially because i had made so many drastic changes... but this was such a great springboard for me to a healthier lifestyle.  and it reminded me that i can be super disciplined and accomplish things i never thought i would be able to.  buttered bread has no power over me unless i allow it to.  peace comes from not being controlled by anything.  and i'll take peace over bread any day.

so what am i doing now?  like i said, everyone is different and needs to find what works for them when the thirty days are over.  i chose to transition into a paleo lifestyle which is similar to the whole thirty diet except you can add in things like maple syrup and honey which makes baking a lot easier (and more fun) :) we have had a few social gatherings the past couple of weekends and i've just tried to do the best i can... if dessert is offered, i'll have a couple of bites and be satisfied.  i don't want to e controlled by food in either extreme, and some situations are unavoidable, especially when in a social setting.  but i really haven't felt the need to run out to my favorite restaurant and get my favorite cheat meal.  that has been the most shocking part of it all!  i read the book "made to crave" by lysa terkeurst (highly recommend) and i love when she said "our bodies crave whatever we feed them".  i have found that to be SO true.  instead of craving crackers and cheese (although i do have my moments) i'm craving things like sautéed cabbage and roasted veggies.  it really is crazy.

i've also started taking supplements through a company called plexus worldwide.  if you're on facebook you've probably heard of them... they've been helping SO many people.  i had started taking the probio5 (their probiotic) a few months ago, and it was SO crucial in eliminating my sweet tooth and helping me crave things other than sweets.  because my energy was still low and i continued to struggle with fatigue even after the whole thirty, i decided to add in the plexus slim (pink drink) and their magnesium supplement, biocleanse.  these products come in a bundle called the "triplex" and they're really targeted at helping with gut health, reduce inflammation and regulating blood sugar.  i had heard so many testimonies of how these products helped give people their lives back, and i can honestly say after less than a month i wholeheartedly echo that sentiment.  i will shout it from the rooftops to anyone who longs to feel better, just like i did: i LOVE these products (actually so much that i signed up to be an ambassador).  not only are they all natural and plant based, but they really really work.  and i am super passionate about the mission behind the company: helping people get healthy from the inside out.  i'm sleeping better than i ever have before and am even able to be more patient with my kids, less stressed, more energy than i ever remember having, and just feeling so much better all around.

so, if you're wanting to feel better and considering making some lifestyle changes, here is a list of my top five essentials to have on hand as you start your new journey:

against all grain

this cookbook will change your life.  danielle walker is the author behind the cookbook--she has a few others, too--and the website... i make her recipes almost daily.  you have to like the food you're making, or else you won't stick with any of your changes!  who likes gross food?!  not me.

plexus products

these products are a complete game changer, i can tell you that from experience.  i'm typing this post on what usually is my most exhausted day of the year; the monday after daylight savings... but not today!  please contact me, or visit my website for more info... i'm really passionate about helping others live healthier, happier lives!

"made to crave" 

by lysa terkeurst

as i mentioned, i picked up this book just as i was finishing my whole thirty, and i think i was done reading it in about two days ;)  she had me laughing and dog-earing pages i wanted to re-read and tearing up all at the same time.  great book.  a good reminder that we are never alone in our struggles.

an efficient blender

i still need to get this... i have a bullet which i love, but my bigger blender is the hamilton beach cheapie--i think it cost $18--from walmart.  it does the job, but not super well.  but many paleo recipes require a good blender, so i'd recommend it (says the lady who doesn't have one) ;)

a few good friends

as with ANYTHING in life, these healthy changes are always easier when you're journeying alongside a friend...or a few of them.  thankfully, i had several that were sharing recipes with me, encouraging me, checking in on my daily...which was super helpful.  get in touch with someone who can help you, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable with them... authentic friendship is what life is all about.  if you're nervous to tell people just how bad you feel, or just how much you love cheez-its, get in touch with me... i get it, and i will love you and encourage you!

i truly believe our health is central to our enjoyment in life and our participation in it.  i'm so grateful the lord has me on this journey, am so humbled by what i've been learning, and i'm excited to see how it continues <3 

the daniel plan.

since christmas, i've been struggling feeling pretty lousy.  physically, emotionally and spiritually.  just going through a rough spell... low motivation and battling fatigue.  i've known for a while i needed to make some changes... but when you're struggling with motivation, it's hard to become motivated to make a change.

anyone with me?

much easier to stay in your sweatpants and continue to sit right where you are.  but, i couldn't take it much longer and as they say, the pain of staying where i was began to exceed the cost of actually doing something to change.  so, with god's help, i did.

while on a recent trip to texas, some of my girlfriends and i decided to participate in the daniel plan for lent.  although i am not catholic, i started participating in lent a few years ago.  i find the practice of self discipline both needed and rewarding and i think it can be very powerful in our journey to grow closer to Jesus and become more like him.

if you haven't heard of the daniel plan, it's a book co-authored by pastor rick warren, dr. daniel amen and dr. mark hyman.  basically, rick warren (who pastors saddleback church in lake forest, california) felt convicted at his state of unhealthiness and vowed to his congregation that he would not only be a better example to them but also talk to leading experts in the nation to develop a plan for them to follow in this quest.

i happen to be a fan of rick warren's.  when i was part of the counseling staff at my church in dallas, we took a trip to his church in california for a conference on their celebrate recovery ministry.  while i jokingly labeled their church campus "the disneyland of churches" (it's HUGE... and also had music being piped out of artificial rocks in the landscaping), i think they are doing so many things very well.  one of the most unattractive qualities about christianity and church today is hypocrisy and in-authenticity.  we tend to talk a big talk, but not walk a big walk.  we say we're all about something, and yet our actions prove the opposite.  and that's why i really like pastor warren.  from what i have observed, he's real.  he's humble.  he speaks truth in grace.  and he leads by example.  i'm a fan.

anyway, i picked up the book while in dallas and started reading on the plane ride home.  i had about a week before ash wednesday, when i was set to embark on the dreaded ten day detox.  i read, researched and made long grocery lists.  i picked out recipes, planned meals and ate a big pancake meal on fat tuesday: true story.

i went to the grocery and loaded up on fresh veggies, beans and lentils, eggs and natural peanut butter and organic coconut oil.  stocked my freezer with shrimp, fish and chicken and my pantry with brown rice and quinoa.  and then detox began.  no dairy.  no wine.  no gluten (for this bread lover... HUGE hurdle).  no coffee (the worst part).

day one was awesome.  why does everyone think this is hard?  i thought as i snacked on nuts and ate salad for lunch.  and then came days two and three.  and i was brought to my knees.  yep, this is why everyone thinks it's hard.  caffeine headaches, exhaustion and fatigue, just all around crumminess.  my whole body just hurt.  i felt like i had been hit by a truck.  it was awful.

i consulted some fellow daniel-ers and decided that what my body really needed was rest.  i didn't realize how run down i was until i cut out sugar and caffeine and then completely crashed.  so, that night i went to bed at 9 and woke up feeling like a new person.  i slept the most soundly i had slept in months and noticed my head was clearer and my joints felt better.  i made sure i was eating enough carbs--brown rice and quinoa--as well as fats: nuts, nut butter and avocado.  soon, my cravings were quite reduced and i realized how GOOD real, whole food was... and that helped me as i resisted the other things that i used to crave.  although my daughters had soft pretzels for an on-the-go lunch at target today and i had to wipe some drool as i stared longingly at them...

fast forward a few days to a two-day suicide intervention training i had to do for work.  on monday, i sat in a room for 8 hours listening to people instruct on the topic of suicide.  no coffee.  let me repeat that: NO COFFEE.  i came home and the minute i collapsed through the door, i told nick "i feel  horrible".  i decided it was time that i add coffee back in.  seven days without coffee was too much.  the next morning, i arrived for the training and poured myself a steaming cup of liquid energy.  and it was amazing.

i ended the detox strong, losing five pounds in only those ten days!  and gaining a whole bunch of knowledge about myself and my body.  i realized: all i needed was a little coffee and life was good.  i'm just not cut out for doing life without it.

i also realized: i can do without bread!  we'll still have pizza night once a week, and i will enjoy bread here and there, but it feels empowering to know that i'm not a slave to gluten like i had once thought.

now, i continue to follow the basic principles of the daniel plan.  lots of fresh fruit and veggies.  lean protein like shrimp, chicken and fish...also low fat cottage cheese, eggs and beans.  an occasional glass of wine after a long day... and yes, i drink my coffee every morning.  although i'm a recovering creamer addict, so i'm trying to learn to drink it with only a bit of almond milk.

in an ongoing effort to cultivate a better sense of self discipline and help myself feel the best i can, i also signed up for the twenty one day fix challenge through beachbody.  nick's cousin is a coach, so i've been working my hiney off (that's the goal, anyway) working out every day, and continuing my healthy eating in a group of women that help keep me accountable.  my motivation is not so much weight loss (although that's a nice benefit) but more so feeling good physically, emotionally and spiritually.

i only have one life to live and one body that god has given me.  i want to make sure i'm taking the best care of it, and living in a healthy balance.  if you're looking for a good read and some motivation, check out the daniel plan!  i'll be posting some recipes on here of things i've enjoyed along my journey.

clean eating for us.

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so, if you've been following my blog these days, you've most likely picked up on the fact that we have been making some changes in our eating.  we've always eaten pretty healthy (most of the time) but we have cranked it up a notch around here lately.

why?  well, i'm so glad you asked.  here's the scoop.

as i said, we've always eaten relatively healthy.  and in recent years, i had started trying to buy less processed foods, make things from scratch (like our bread and coffee creamer) and just made little changes here and there like swapping out the aunt jemima for real maple syrup.  however, there were still a lot of changes we could be making that just got swept under the rug because of time and money.

this summer, while trying to buckle down and start losing some serious post-pregnancy-poundage, i was sitting with a few of my good girlfriends discussing the 100 day challenge, which is a commitment to eat whole, non-processed foods for 100 days.  this discussion stuck in my brain.  not only was i wanting to start shedding unwanted weight faster than i had been, but we were in the middle of a battle with bella's health that lasted much of the summer.  she has pretty bad eczema and i was determined to try anything to help my sweet little girl.  i knew cutting out processed foods wouldn't cure her skin, but it definitely couldn't hurt.

so, i began researching.  two websites that totally helped me in my quest to know more about the concept of "clean eating" were 100 days of real food, and the gracious pantry.  both are great resources for more information about this dietary change, but also some fantastic recipes and even meal plans and shopping lists!

during my research, i read that it was recommended to 1) define what clean eating is for you.  there can be different levels/degrees depending on what works best for you and your family and what you can stick to.  and 2) decide what "cheating" means for your clean eating plan.  i was on board for that.  something with no wiggle room or space for some freedom doesn't suit our family too well.  it needed to be realistic on so many levels.

so... here's what i stick to (and my family basically does, too, since i do most of the cooking/grocery shopping).  and keep in mind, i am certainly no expert!  this is just what i've found that works for our family.  i'm sure it will change and grow over time, but for now, this is it.

1) what clean eating is for us: because of time and budget constraints (i'm in school part-time, i work part-time and i'm a wife and mama of two young girls... so this was important to take into consideration!) there are a few things we are going to have to still purchase that are not organic or non-processed such as condiments... and i do stock our pantry with cans of beans and corn as a time/money saver.  however, here are the main points we follow:
            * no (to little) white sugar: i use a bit in my morning coffee (because our purchasing of maple syrup and agave was getting out of control!) but that's pretty much it.  i have used brown sugar in some of my baking, but i just cut the amount called for in half.  for the majority of my baking i use natural sweeteners such as honey, agave or maple syrup.  unsweetened applesauce, pumpkin and ripe banana work well as sweeteners in baked goods too.
            * no white flour: i use king arthur's white whole wheat flour... don't be confused by the "white" part; it's still a whole grain flour, but just uses a variety of wheat that's lighter in color.  i also love organic whole spelt flour.  i prefer it for baking, as it stays lighter and fluffier than the whole wheat.
            * no white pasta, rice, etc: whole wheat pasta and brown rice all the way.
            * no processed breads: i bake our own.  two loaves covers our sandwiches and toast for a week.  and the best part is: it's super yummy.  my brother-in-law found me an awesome bread machine at a yard sale this summer, so it's a huge time saver.  i use it to mix the dough and to do the first rise, and then put the dough in my breadpans to do the second rise and bake them in the oven.  so so easy, i'm not lying i promise!  i also want to start making tortillas and pizza crusts from scratch as well.
            * no processed snacks: each week i try to make at least two snacks for our family.  my staples are nutrigrain bars, hummus, granola, cheese crackers and graham crackers.  i'll be posting recipes on my blog, but they are all super delish and most of them are bella-approved, which says a whole lot.  in my research, i did find that triscuits were the best of all processed crackers, so i do buy boxes of those occasionally as well as multigrain rice crackers to eat with hummus.
            * no "fake" butter: i used to always buy the "i can't believe it's not butter!" with olive oil because it was low in calories and fat.  but what i didn't understand is that in order to be low in calories and fat, it was filled with all kinds of fake crap.  i also used to buy blue bonnet "butter" sticks for cooking and baking because they're like seventy cents for a package of four sticks.  oh well.  hello, real butter.  it's more expensive, but it's real.  and also super delicious on homemade toast in the morning.
            * no more bottled coffee creamer: i'll be honest, this totally bums me out.  i admittedly loved bottled coffee creamer (maybe sometimes more than the coffee itself).  but i've gotten used to either making my own creamers, or just using half&half and a bit of sugar.  a fun little fall trick is to add some pumpkin pie spice to the coffee grounds before brewing.  yum.

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2) what "cheating" looks like for us:  well, this is a tough one.  the weekends, honestly, are hard to stick to any strict eating regiment.  when we're on the go taking roadtrips for the day, getting together with friends, date nights at our fav restaurants or having family dinners it's hard to stick strictly to eating clean.  so on the weekends, i stick to it as much as i can, but allow for some non-clean indulgences.  like mcdonald's french fries we had last weekend, or homemade doughnuts i want to make some weekend coming up.  let's keep it real, folks.  oh, and i still totally have wine a few evenings here or there.  i know for myself i need some freedom in order to stick with anything!

so, what does a typical day of eating look like for me?  well, here you go (some of the meal categories have a few ideas:

breakfast
- coffee w/half&half and a bit of sugar
- fruit
- slice of homemade bread, toasted
- homemade granola w/milk or greek yogurt
- eggs (mostly egg whites, with one or two whole eggs added)

lunch
- salad: organic spring mix w/black beans, corn, diced tomato, avocado and salsa
- a good, homemade soup

snacks
- handful of raw almonds
- a piece of fruit or berries
- celery/carrots with hummus
- rice crackers with a couple slices of cheese
- apple and peanut butter
- homemade tortilla chips (coat whole corn tortillas with a bit of canola oil, sprinkle with salt and bake until golden and crispy) with salsa

dinner
- a quiche with a homemade whole wheat crust and a side salad
- chicken or fish breaded with homemade bread crumbs and baked with a side of vegetables
- butternut squash mac&cheese

so, basically: i stick to my definition of clean eating, allow myself to cheat here and there, and feed my family things that i've made so that i know what's in it.  i also try to be more intentional about reaching for vegetables and fruit as snacks or sides to our meals.

i know it sounds like a lot of work, and i'll be honest; it is.  but i've gotten into a pretty good routine of making 2 loaves of bread, a batch of granola and two snacks each week for our family.  i enjoy spending time in the kitchen and it's a great activity for me to share with bella (and someday emmy) so i've just tried to incorporate the food prep into our everyday life/routine.

i've weighed myself each week since we started eating more cleanly and i've lost close to ten pounds pretty quickly.  obviously i can't totally chalk it up to our way of eating since i'm still shedding pregnancy pounds, but still.  pretty encouraging.

so, for those of you wondering and asking, here's our eating plan.  i'll keep recipes coming your way!  if you're interested in making some changes in the way you're feeding your fam, totally check out the websites i gave at the beginning of this forever-long post!

in closing...

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body wars.

my family went on a few trips to disney world when i was growing up. i was the only one that really wanted to go on any rides, with the exception of my grampy. yep, you read that right. my now ninety-year-old grandfather would be my partner on the rides i wanted to go on because everyone else in my family were a bunch of sissies.

seriously.

and the scared-est of them all? you guessed it. my dad. he had the biggest fear of rides. i guess stemming from a bad experience when he was a kid. can't say that i blame him. but still, it was fun to give him a hard time. here was my six foot four father who was the rock of our family afraid to go on a ride named "the polar coaster" that four year olds rode on. he even stood up once, about to escape from a monorail-type ride called "the people mover" just because it took us through "space mountain" to observe the roller coaster. not even kidding.

one ride he did brave at disney world was at epcot, named "body wars". i'm not even sure they still have that one, but it used to be this motion ride that made you feel as though you were riding through a human body, complete with twists and turns and lots of jolts and drops. my sister and i were young, and as we were all strapping ourselves in before the ride, dad leaned over and whispered "girls remember... if you get scared, just close your eyes. it's not real; you're not really moving like it seems." the ride began, and i remember laughing as my seat shook and jerked. and then, i looked over at my father. he was not sharing in my laughter. instead, i found him clutching on to his seat, knuckles white, eyes squeezed shut--and the best part--lips moving as he sat there, praying for him to be rescued from this terrifying ride, i'm sure.

one of my favorite stories about my dad.

the name of that epcot ride is not far from the truth when referring to the struggle that plagues approximately half of america's population. it seems as though our society is constantly wanting to wage war on women's bodies. proof is everywhere. magazine covers. billboards. television. it's complete overkill in one of the most dangerous ways.

lucky us.

body image is something i've struggled with for many years. it waxes and wanes with each season of life, but it's something i constantly have to keep in check. and after having two babies? i feel the battle raging these days. i know that in time, just as i experienced after i had bella, i will lose the weight and my clothes will fit again. but it takes time. and that's what i'm not good with. i want to complain, i want to be impatient, i want to feel crappy about myself. and just like my dad told me with the epcot ride, i wish i could just close my eyes and make it all go away. but i can't. i need to face this battle head on. not only for me, but for my daughters as well.

being a mom to two precious girls has made me think a whole lot about the issue of body image. i oftentimes pray for their self confidence... for them to be protected from the lies, the pressure, the attacks of our society on their bodies and their perception of who they are as women. i pray that i can raise confident women who find pride in how they take care of themselves, and are content with who they are... on the outside, but *far* more importantly; who they are on the inside. where it matters most.

i pray that as their mother, i can instill in their hearts a greater sense of beauty that far exceeds the messages of this messed up world.

and i know in order to do that, i need to be sending out that message in our home. everyday. about them. but more importantly, about myself. i don't want to complain, to pick out all of the things i don't like about my appearance. but instead, to have an air of quiet contentment and confidence... most importantly about the woman i am; my heart, my spirit, my character which are far more valuable than my looks.

so as i embark on trying to get healthy again, getting my body back in shape, and shedding some poundage, these are the things i want to focus on. and may i remember that little eyes will be watching. little eyes that will look to me to see what being a woman looks like. little eyes that will learn from me what beauty is. little eyes and ears that will soak in my words, behaviors and actions and use them as the foundation upon which they will build their concept of self image and value.

that is a huge responsibility. and perhaps one of the greatest gifts i can give my daughters.

i pray that god gives me the grace to keep my mind stayed on his truths. do i want to lose the weight that i gained while carrying emmy? yes. do i want to feel good about how i look? absolutely. and i don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as i keep it in perspective. so while i'm exercising and scheduling time to work out, what am i doing to cultivate my inner attractiveness? while i'm counting points and planning out my fruit and vegetable intake for the day, what kind of effort am i putting forth in becoming the woman that jesus wants me to be? because that is far more important than what is seen in this body of mine--this shell--that is oh-so-temporary.

so long, extra weight... i will be saying goodbye to you over the coming months. i will not miss you, but i'm thankful for what caused you to come. i'm looking at her right now and i can't think of a better reason to gain a few (okay, fifty) pounds. and until you are gone, i pray to be patient, content and to enjoy the journey.

"charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised." (psalm 31:30)

what's for lunch today {egg white sandwiches}.

this is a lunch or breakfast meal... but i love eating it for lunch. i'm obsessed. last week i had one of these lil guys every afternoon before heading off to work. so good and so good for you.

my friend, holly, posts yummy pictures all the time of the healthy, good food she eats and last week she posted a snapshot of an egg white sandwich she made for breakfast. that's all it took. i came up with my own creation and paired with a grapefruit, it's the *perfect* lil lunch (or breakfast) for me.

here. you. go.

egg white sandwich

* 1 egg

* 1/4 of an avocado, sliced thinly

* 1/4 of a tomato, sliced thinly

* 1 slice of sharp cheddar cheese

* 1 whole wheat bagel thin (these are my newest obsession. only 110 calories and 5 g. of fiber per bagel. you can find them in the bread aisle at the grocery with the other bagels)

- spray a small skillet with pam and over medium heat, cook egg white until done. pull off heat, top with cheese and set aside.

- toast bagel thin. cut avocado and tomato into thin slices. when bagel is toasted, top with egg white&cheese, avocado and tomato. season with salt&pepper. top with other bagel slice. serve with fruit or a side salad (my favorite side? a pink grapefruit, of course).

i made these for nick&i for breakfast the other day and added some turkey bacon. super yum. save the rest of the avocado and tomato for another sandwich the next day because i know you will want another one of these (or... if you have a baby who is eating solids, avocado is a great food to cut into chunks and let your munchkin learn to pick up. bella loves it, so we share our avocado... mine for a sandwich, hers for her high chair tray... and hair, and nose, and ears, and the floor...wherever it may end up these days! you can also save the yolk from your egg to scramble up for your baby. my favorite baby food site: www.wholesomebabyfood.com suggests this as a good form of protein before your baby is able to eat whole eggs)

enjoy :)

ten things {in my pantry}.

here are ten things that are always (or almost always) in our fridge, freezer or pantry. the cornwell essentials we can't live without. i can honestly say we have all of these items in our kitchen right. this. second.

1. turkey bacon.

an absolute staple in the cornwell household. ever since we were married, every saturday and sunday morning, nick makes turkey bacon and scrambled eggs. even if i make waffles or cinnamon rolls or something else of the sweet variety, he still will make his faithful tb&se combo. love him. and loooove turkey bacon! only 35 calories per slice. please and thank you.

2. blueberries.

not as wonderful as fresh maine blueberries, but we always always always have a carton in our fridge. i'm obsessed with blueberries and cheerios these days. my daily weekly breakfast. and i'm super determind to make bella like them too. i don't really know why. but more importantly, i don't know why she is weird about them right now. i ate anything with blueberries allllll the time when i was pregnant. number one: blueberry pancakes. oh. yum.

3. steam-able veggies.

we eat these almost every night. if you open up our freezer, it is always packed with these lovely little packages of veggies. just pop 'em in the microwave and voila... you've got servings of vitamins and minerals within minutes.

4. yellow saffron rice.

we keep these yummy lil rice packets in our pantry as a staple to our weekly meal of tilapia, rice and veggies. so easy and suuuuuper delish. bella loves it too!

5. real maple syrup.

waffles love to make a saturday or sunday morning appearance in the cornwell household and we love our maple syrup. we always used to use light variations of hungry jack or aunt jemima until we watched jamie oliver's food revolution when he specifically talked about how much garbage is in that man-made-brown-concoction-of-stickiness. thank you, jamie oliver. and you are right: the real stuff tastes sooo much better.

6. hazelnut coffee creamer.

i *have* to have coffee creamer in our fridge. it's a must. i go on kicks in terms of my flavor preference. for a long time it was vanilla. then it was caramel-vanilla. then it was the holiday-inspired creamer. now it's hazelnut. i just love it. can't have my coffee without it. which is probably unhealthy but i don't care. it's one splurge i can live with, that's for sure.

7. tofu noodles.

these are my most recent discovery and i am in love! low in carbs, fat and calories these lil noodles are awesome. just be sure to rinse thoroughly and they taste great! i love adding them to a stir fry with fresh bok choy, carrots, garlic, ginger, broccoli, water chestnuts and a little soy sauce and honey. hungry yet??

8. laughing cow cheese.

i first discovered this lil gem when i did weight watchers a few years ago to burn off some extra graduate school weight. only 35 calories per slice. spread 'em on some crackers and they are simply delightful. perfect pairing? try wasa crackers... high in fiber and protein and low in fat and calories. also like whole wheat flatbread with them too.

9. cheerios.

oldie, but a goodie. especially necessary when you have a nine-month-old. as i said earlier, this is my breakfast staple. a bowl of these sprinkled with some fresh blueberries or banana? the perfect combo.

10. pink grapefruit.

when i was pregnant with bella, this was definitely my biggest craving. pink grapefruits... but more specifically pink grapefruit juice. weird, i know. but i still love them even when i'm not with child. a perfect breakfast side or a mid-afternoon snack. and good for you, too. what's not to love?

thursday three.

ahhhhh, the thursday three. yes, i'm fully aware that it is--indeed--friday. i know i kept most of you waiting with baited breath. and i apologize.


here we go.


nick
{a disclaimer: i haven't actually asked nick what his highlight was this week, so this is pure speculation on my part. however, i will do my best to name a few so that i will inevitably hit his top moment eventually}
i'd venture to say that one of nick's top highlights of the week was guy time. my poor husband is outnumbered in our household at the moment... and is also in the middle of basketball season, coaching a team full of high school girls. so i'd say any time he can hang out "with the guys" is a good thing. he was able to get away and play basketball with some friends on saturday and on sunday night after church, he had some additional "guy time" with his best buds playing this really-stupid-board-game-where-they-trade-stuff-like-wheat-and-bricks (settlers, anyone??) geesh. anyway, i was really happy for him this weekend to get some good time with friends because i know how hard he works during the week, it's good to have some down time on the weekends. he also got to spend saturday morning with bella while i had some girl time. i know it's always a highlight for him when he gets to hang with his lil girl. he seriously is the *best* dad it makes me want to cry just typing this post. bella loves her daddy! the smile that comes across her face every time she sees him at the end of the day, and how she kicks her little feet in excitement is a top moment of every day for nick. they are so cute together :)


meg
as previously mentioned, i had some lovely "girl time" on saturday morning. one of my sweet friends left this week to start a new nanny job in nyc. so a few of us girls met at one of our apartments for breakfast saturday morning. any time i get to hang out with girls is refreshing to my soul... and as much as i *love* my daughter, it is a wonderful thing to get to go places without lugging half of our apartment with us; or trying to keep her entertained the entire time. it was a nice break for mama! i've also been working hard to incorporate exercise back into my life... and it's been soooo nice. i'm a huge fan of the "30 day shred" with jillian michaels. if you're looking for a good, quick workout to do at home, this is your new bff.


bel
our sweet girl is changing by the minute. this has been my most favorite stage so far... she is just so fun! this week, there are three highlights for little bella grace: first, we have a tooth! nick&i have been on "tooth-watch" lately, as her four front teeth look like they are about to pop through. she has been putting anything and everything in her mouth to chew on... her favorites include our noses and chins. lovely. just on tuesday i put my finger in her mouth and felt along her gums to find a sharp lil tooth that had finally poked through! secondly, our sweet little one has taken a while to develop her leg strength. her auntie gret has lovingly described her as a "rag doll" while trying to get her to stand. she is just such a peanut!!! i have put her in her jumper every morning for the past few months to try to develop those lil legs and it has finally paid off. just this week, while the girls were over one night, bella stood like she had been doing it for years. she grabbed onto our friend, kristin's fingers and stood for a while, looking around at everyone like "what? i'm standing, what?" so cocky-like. love it. and lastly, she took her first big-girl bath this week in the rub-a-dub-tub. can't believe it. she loved it. she chases the bubbles, trying to grab them and kicks and splashes the entire time. our girl is fearless. and she is growing... and we love watching her change, her personality emerge and the sparkle in her eyes while she discovers new things. love her so much!


and there you have it, folks... another thursday three. tune in next week... same time, same place. i will leave you with a few photos of bella's big week.

mama confessions.

i feel as though it is a "mom trap"... or let me rephrase... a "human trap" to present our lives as though we have everything together. when i woke up this morning, i was faced with the overwhelmingness that is my life right now. our apartment is a wreck. i haven't exercised since who-knows-when. every day i struggle to fit my time with jesus in. it is the end of january and i still feel like i'm getting back into a routine since the holidays. and in some sense, still feel like i'm adjusting to life as a mom. and bella turns eight months old today. (eight months?! where has time gone).

anyone??? please tell me i am not alone!

so here are my mama confessions. lest you think i have it all together.

1. as previously stated, i haven't exercised in a very long time. this is partially due to the state of extreme discomfort&pain that my body was in for months after having bella. but still, i hate it. trying to figure out where to fit that into my daily routine so i can get this bod toned and in shape before swimsuit season... or before i get pregnant again, whichever comes first (kidding, kidding!).

2. i haven't painted my toenails in probably two months. i partially blame winter. and close-toed shoes.

3. i cry everytime i pack away clothes bella has outgrown.

4. if someone could pay me to be a wife, a mom, decorater of our home, meal planner, professional blogger, cook and crafter, i would be as happy as a clam. all the other responsibilities (ahem... cleaning) i would gladly hire someone else to do.

5. speaking of cleaning, i always make sure our apartment is neat and picked up. but finding the energy to clean each week is a chore for me. i am constantly busy and on the go with my part time jobs throughout the week (i work 20+ hrs a week which i am BEYOND thankful for) our mornings at home all i want to do is snuggle with bella, read to her and play with her. i would be perfectly fine if i spent her naptime only drinking coffee, reading, blogging, eating breakfast and watching morning talk shows.

6. i cried the week i stopped nursing.

7. i *thought* i had lost allllll my pregnancy weight... then i found out a couple weeks ago that the scale i was weighing myself on was wrong. ehhhhh. still only have about six pounds to lose. but still. annoying.

8. i kiss bella's cheeks at least thirty five times a day. at LEAST.

9. i wish that nick could get paid to stay at home and hang out with us. i am always sad on mondays when he goes back to work. we miss him!!

10. i think i am about three months behind on bella's baby book. i have a running list in my mind of everything i need to record and write down. ridiculous! this isn't supposed to happen until at least your second baby... my poor future children...

11. i have all the ingredients to make sugar cookies in my pantry. i was meaning to make them for the girls on nick's basketball team... before christmas break. ooops.

phew. glad i got all of that off my chest. am i alone in all of these things? please, other mamas... help me out here.