life after the whole thirty.

eggs, nuts, almond butter and more eggs.  

repeat.

if you've done the whole thirty (or are currently doing it), you know what i'm talking about.  but... my goodness, how this diet has changed my life.

and believe it or not: i still love eggs.

i turned thirty five in january and decided life was too short to keep living in a body that felt like it belonged to an elderly woman.  so, i bit the bullet and pledged to live thirty days without my two best friends: bread and cheese (among many other things like sugar).  little did i know what a profound impact it would have on my health.

for years i wondered if i had a gluten sensitivity... i've struggled with joint pain and inflammation since i had bella.  there were many days i'd have a conversation with myself that sounded a lot like this:

"i wonder if i would feel better and have less aches and pains if i gave up gluten?"

"probably." (as i pull a loaf pan of warm, homemade bread out of the oven and stare at it longingly)

"it would be nice to feel better..." (still staring at it longingly)

"WHATEVS... nothing feels as good as bread tastes!" (as i cut a piece, slather it with butter and resolve that i can deal with shuffling around like an old lady as long as i can still eat warm bread... or bread in any form, at any temperature, who am i kidding?).

smart, right?

what i love about the whole thirty is that it really helps you see what food(s) effect how your body feels.  everyone is different, and everyone chooses to live differently when the thirty days are up.  for me, the changes i felt in my inflammation were totally worth continuing to eat the way i had been eating for those thirty days, with some minor changes/wiggle room (i'll explain more in a bit).

what i also love about the whole thirty is it really causes you to take a step back and look at your relationship with food.  i had a couple of really stressful moments during my thirty days... and i realized how badly i wanted to reach for food to comfort me.  so i loved how this program really helped me reprogram my body--but also my mind--in so many ways.  i became very proactive at truly caring for myself... when i felt stressed, or had a bad day, i'd take a hot shower and make myself a cup of tea, talk to my husband or pray, instead of reaching for food.

and i REALLY love that i didn't have to count calories or keep track of points!  i was able to choose healthy fats like avocado and olive oil over lower calorie, yet processed foods like granola bars or baked chips...because i wasn't just trying to achieve certain numbers for the day.  there was so much freedom in that!  the focus is on real, whole foods and that makes all the difference in the world.  i wasn't starving my body, instead i was learning to fuel it with the right things.  i really felt fuller on the whole thirty than i did before.  my portions were immediately cut, and i found myself not even wanting seconds.  it was pretty crazy, and really rewarding.

so, the final rundown: i've lost sixteen pounds so far, which is awesome.  but also, not even the best part.  my inflammation has totally changed.  my taste in food and my cravings have changed.  and i am learning what it means to fuel my body, not just feed it.  is our grocery bill more expensive?  yes.  but, we weren't getting take out nearly as often (or, ever), so that cut down on costs AND even though family dinner time was sacred to us before, it became even more so.  we feed the girls what we are eating and i refuse to make them anything different (which is what we normally did, but it is harder for kids to get used to eating changes... however, i just didn't make other food an option).  they are quick to say they don't like certain foods, but we keep telling them they needed to at least have a bite because their food tastes and preferences are always changing.  one of the most rewarding byproducts of our lifestyle change has been watching their palettes grow and change... not every meal is a huge hit (as many of you who follow me on social media saw with our teary refusal of "icky meatballs"!) but they are devouring things like cabbage soup (and even asked me if they could eat it for breakfast) and the other night they asked for seconds of salad.  salad.  nick and i didn't know whether to high five each other under the table or weep tears of joy.  so i think we did both ;)

i will say this..there was a period of time my energy improved (maybe around week two?) but i was a little disappointed with how fatigued i still was after that.  i have struggled with fatigue most of my life; i literally remember being in high school and getting so run down my doctors were testing me for mono.  and, i had some stomach pains/cramping issues that were a little strange and my eczema started getting out of control (i'm still trying to get it healed).  so there were a few things that were frustrating... especially because i had made so many drastic changes... but this was such a great springboard for me to a healthier lifestyle.  and it reminded me that i can be super disciplined and accomplish things i never thought i would be able to.  buttered bread has no power over me unless i allow it to.  peace comes from not being controlled by anything.  and i'll take peace over bread any day.

so what am i doing now?  like i said, everyone is different and needs to find what works for them when the thirty days are over.  i chose to transition into a paleo lifestyle which is similar to the whole thirty diet except you can add in things like maple syrup and honey which makes baking a lot easier (and more fun) :) we have had a few social gatherings the past couple of weekends and i've just tried to do the best i can... if dessert is offered, i'll have a couple of bites and be satisfied.  i don't want to e controlled by food in either extreme, and some situations are unavoidable, especially when in a social setting.  but i really haven't felt the need to run out to my favorite restaurant and get my favorite cheat meal.  that has been the most shocking part of it all!  i read the book "made to crave" by lysa terkeurst (highly recommend) and i love when she said "our bodies crave whatever we feed them".  i have found that to be SO true.  instead of craving crackers and cheese (although i do have my moments) i'm craving things like sautéed cabbage and roasted veggies.  it really is crazy.

i've also started taking supplements through a company called plexus worldwide.  if you're on facebook you've probably heard of them... they've been helping SO many people.  i had started taking the probio5 (their probiotic) a few months ago, and it was SO crucial in eliminating my sweet tooth and helping me crave things other than sweets.  because my energy was still low and i continued to struggle with fatigue even after the whole thirty, i decided to add in the plexus slim (pink drink) and their magnesium supplement, biocleanse.  these products come in a bundle called the "triplex" and they're really targeted at helping with gut health, reduce inflammation and regulating blood sugar.  i had heard so many testimonies of how these products helped give people their lives back, and i can honestly say after less than a month i wholeheartedly echo that sentiment.  i will shout it from the rooftops to anyone who longs to feel better, just like i did: i LOVE these products (actually so much that i signed up to be an ambassador).  not only are they all natural and plant based, but they really really work.  and i am super passionate about the mission behind the company: helping people get healthy from the inside out.  i'm sleeping better than i ever have before and am even able to be more patient with my kids, less stressed, more energy than i ever remember having, and just feeling so much better all around.

so, if you're wanting to feel better and considering making some lifestyle changes, here is a list of my top five essentials to have on hand as you start your new journey:

against all grain

this cookbook will change your life.  danielle walker is the author behind the cookbook--she has a few others, too--and the website... i make her recipes almost daily.  you have to like the food you're making, or else you won't stick with any of your changes!  who likes gross food?!  not me.

plexus products

these products are a complete game changer, i can tell you that from experience.  i'm typing this post on what usually is my most exhausted day of the year; the monday after daylight savings... but not today!  please contact me, or visit my website for more info... i'm really passionate about helping others live healthier, happier lives!

"made to crave" 

by lysa terkeurst

as i mentioned, i picked up this book just as i was finishing my whole thirty, and i think i was done reading it in about two days ;)  she had me laughing and dog-earing pages i wanted to re-read and tearing up all at the same time.  great book.  a good reminder that we are never alone in our struggles.

an efficient blender

i still need to get this... i have a bullet which i love, but my bigger blender is the hamilton beach cheapie--i think it cost $18--from walmart.  it does the job, but not super well.  but many paleo recipes require a good blender, so i'd recommend it (says the lady who doesn't have one) ;)

a few good friends

as with ANYTHING in life, these healthy changes are always easier when you're journeying alongside a friend...or a few of them.  thankfully, i had several that were sharing recipes with me, encouraging me, checking in on my daily...which was super helpful.  get in touch with someone who can help you, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable with them... authentic friendship is what life is all about.  if you're nervous to tell people just how bad you feel, or just how much you love cheez-its, get in touch with me... i get it, and i will love you and encourage you!

i truly believe our health is central to our enjoyment in life and our participation in it.  i'm so grateful the lord has me on this journey, am so humbled by what i've been learning, and i'm excited to see how it continues <3 

why whole thirty.

if you would have told me even a few months ago that i would purposely be living in a world void of bread and cheese i would have laughed at you.  for real.

bread and cheese = my happy place.

actually... scratch that.  FOOD was my happy place.  and let me tell you a little bit about the reason why (besides the fact that i love it... and that will never change).

i've always loved food.  i love cooking and baking and being in the kitchen with my girls, passing my passion onto them.  i love the memories and traditions and celebrations associated with food.  i love the beauty of it, the enjoyment of it, the sharing of it with friends and family.  and like i said, that will never change.  why?  because that's not the unhealthy part.

i'm a big believer in enjoying food.  i will never ever believe that god created food merely for fueling our bodies.  i believe we can--and should--enjoy what we eat and the act of eating with others.

but for me, food became more than just that... it became something that controlled me.  it became something that comforted me, a way that i both medicated AND rewarded myself.  and although i realized it was happening, i didn't really have the energy to fight back or care that much about it.  after all, i ran and worked out, ate relatively healthy and although i wanted to lose the extra weight left from my pregnancies, i didn't think i looked like food totally controlled me... so, why upset the apple cart, right?  let's face it: allowing yourself to have binges where you can eat what you want and however much you want feels pretty.darn.awesome.

until it doesn't.

so many factors lead to where i found myself and how i related to food.  when i was first pregnant with emmy, my dad's health began spiraling rapidly... i was scared and felt so out of control watching my sweet dad become a totally different person, and all of these horrible things happening to his body.  he ended up being admitted to mass general hospital in boston and was there for six weeks before he died.  looking back, i realize this was where so much of my unhealthy relationship with food started.  we'd travel to boston every weekend (sometimes we'd get a call in the middle of the week from a doctor telling us to come quickly) and we'd cram fast food while we drove... after stressful, scary, sad visits with my dad, we'd walk to the north end in boston and soothe our sorrows with italian food in a futile attempt to help us feel better or comfort us in some way.  after my dad's passing, my mom's home was constantly filled with food as people graciously cooked for us, and i continued finding solace in casseroles, associating comfort with food.

at that point, food became not only a medication of some sort but it also became a reward.  i was a young mom of a baby and an active toddler five days a week, and two days a week i was counselor to a hundred and fifty kids who needed me in various ways as well.  in so many different areas of my life i found myself in the role of caregiver... and i slowly began neglecting myself and losing more and more control over who i was and how i was hurting.  after an especially crazy day at work, i'd stop at mcdonalds on my way home and get a vanilla ice cream cone--because, well, I DESERVED IT!  and before i knew it, because every day is a crazy day when you work at a school, i was "rewarding" myself on a nearly daily basis.  ben and jerry's became my therapists.  which worked out awesome (if you've had half baked, then you understand) until i realized i was about to turn thirty five and my metabolism was NOT getting any faster.  if i continued in this unhealthy cycle of self-medicating and rewarding... how much would i weigh when i was eighty?!

that was a motivating image.  yikes.

beyond wanting to have a healthy mindset on food again, i also wanted to have a healthy mindset on myself.  anyone who has been through loss will understand when i say: grief wreaks havoc on your mind, soul, body and spirit.  i don't think i realized how bad i felt until i started getting better in this last year or so... there were so many nights i cried myself to sleep and so many days i was too depressed to get out of bed.  but i didn't have time to feel sad or manage my feelings; i had too many people who needed me... who depended on me... and that's where the problem was.  i knew that i needed to be caring for myself... for my soul... for my body... so that i could love and serve others the way i desired to.  i didn't want to miss out on god's story for me.  i wanted to feel better emotionally, physically and spiritually and i was finally ready to do whatever it took to do it.

a friend of mine from college had blogged about her whole thirty experience and it totally intrigued me.  i had healed so much over the last year, but the food-battle was one i still had yet to conquer.  so,  after a little research, i decided to jump into this crazy journey... and oh my word, i'm so glad i did!

if you're not familiar with the whole thirty, it's basically a stricter version of clean eating... it's grain free, dairy free, sugar free, no legumes... basically, lots of meat, fish, veggies, nuts, eggs and fruit for thirty days.  i'm less than halfway through and already i love this way of eating.  i feel empowered, not controlled, full of energy and am better able to engage in my daily tasks and even my relationships with others.  i know it sounds crazy after just a few days, but it's been almost laughable the difference i've seen already.  i've always been a generally happy person (aside from battling seasons of depression), but i was telling my husband the other day that i felt so happy and energetic it was almost like i was high on something...not even kidding.  food tastes better, i'm getting great sleep and weight that hasn't budged in a couple of years is melting away.  i really couldn't be happier.

intrigued?  that's how it started for me!  here are a couple of ideas of what i eat for my meals and how you can get started... it has honestly been life changing for me, and i'm not even halfway done.

breakfasts:

- egg muffins
i sauté veggies in a bit of olive oil and spoon them into the wells of my brownie pan or muffin tin.  i whisk together 12 eggs with a bit of water, about 1/2 t to 1 t of baking powder and season with salt and pepper.  pour over veggies and bake until done.  i eat these with roasted potatoes and they stick with me all morning long!

- smoothies
your favorite combinations of fruit with banana, unsweetened coconut milk and chia seeds and you've got a healthy breakfast on the go!

- bacon and sausage
make sure you use nitrate free all natural bacon (read your labels!) and chicken sausage (i use this variety... check your labels to make sure there's not sugar hiding in them!)

- hashes and scrambles
saute potatoes, peppers and onion together with scrambled eggs, or top a hash with fried eggs... so good and filling!

- black coffee
i never thought i'd see the day... i love my coffee, and i love it with half and half and little bit of sugar.  but i've gotten to where i enjoy it black, which is totally crazy.

lunches:

- cabbage and veggie stew
i make a big pot of this each week and portion it out into containers to store in the fridge for quick and easy lunches.  i literally crave this soup which is beyond weird, but it's good and super healthy... this is the recipe i use, and you can play with it adding different veggies and seasonings.

- salads with homemade ranch dressing
this dressing makes the entire whole thirty doable.  not even joking.  it's so good on veggies for snacking, or on salads.  i love making big salads with grilled chicken or all natural turkey with lots of veggies, avocado, nuts, hard boiled egg... good stuff.

- turkey wraps
we buy all natural turkey from our grocery store and a head of bibb lettuce and make wraps!  easy and delicious.  you can also make chicken salad with homemade mayo although i have yet to conquer getting mine to emulsify in my freezing cold kitchen in mid-january in maine... i'm open to suggestions...

- leftovers!
i usually try to keep leftovers from our meals so that i can have lunch ready to go for the next day.  i've been way less hungry than i thought i would be, and am eating smaller portions for dinner (no seconds), so leftovers work out really well for lunches!

dinners:

- one pan roasted dinners
this one was a huge hit in our house (even for our girls!) i omitted the honey and it was whole thirty compliant AND delicious!!  this one was salmon but could easily be done with other meats or fish

- curries!
my new fav.  we love this thai shrimp curry from the daniel plan and serve it up over roasted potatoes or cauliflower rice.  YUM.  so good it makes your nose run. (sub arrowroot for cornstarch... it's gluten free and you can find it in the health food section at your grocer... i used the bob's red mill variety).

- cobb salad
again, with the salads... but i'm obsessed.  and, luckily for me, cobb salad is one of my favorite foods ever.  lettuce, tomato, avocado, hardboiled egg, nitrate free bacon and the ranch recipe i liked above... you've got yourself a delicious dinner and you won't even miss the cheese.

- burrito bowls
slow cook a pork roast in your crockpot all day with some seasonings.  shred and serve with lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, peppers, onions, and a whole thirty compliant salsa (watch the sugar!)... delish.

- avocado burgers
use lean, organic beef and season with your favorite spices and dicd onion... grill up and serve on bibb lettuce with tomato and avocado... serve with roasted crispy potatoes and you've got yourself a whole thirty compliant burger and fries :)

snacks:

- larabars!
i'm obsessed.  they cost a fortune; almost literally.  but it's worth it to have something quick and easy on the go. my all time fav is coconut cream pie: so good.

- fruit and veggies
obviously.

- almond butter
so good with an apple or banana.  also helps satisfy the need for something sweet.

- nuts
cashews are my new best friend.

- tea
six words: harney & sons hot cinnamon sunset.  you guys.  it's amazing.  and literally feels so soothing to drink especially here in snowy maine.  i like mine at night before i go to bed... it takes the hunger edge off and seriously tastes like melted red hot candies in a mug.  so so good.  and their teas come in cute tins.  go get some ASAP!

- la croix
i'm still working on loving this unsweetened sparkling water, but it fits the bill when you're tired of just drinking water and need to spice it up a bit.  i found this at target, and they have several flavors, i got grapefruit.

not a snack, but a really great tip/product that has helped me tons: probio5, a probiotic from plexus.  i started this before christmas and immediately felt joint pain improve and cravings for sweets change to cravings for healthy foods (crazy).  i went through the die off symptoms (flu-like and crazy dizziness) a couple of weeks after i started, so i didn't have as much of that when i started the whole thirty.  but i love, love, love this product and am so thankful i found it.

i'll be posting our favorite recipes as we continue this journey (yes, my husband is doing it with me!).  it's been fun experimenting with different foods and trying new recipes.  it does take a lot of prep but it's totally worth it.  so excited to be on a journey of taking better care of myself and keeping a proper perspective on food... i want to claim health this year in ALL areas of my life...

and kick year thirty five out of the park :)