i want to remember.

it's a rainy sunday afternoon. bella is napping. nick just went to lay down. so it's just me and my ems sitting on the couch with a big, thick blanket, listening to the cars drive by, swishing in the rain.

i love this little girl so much.

i hear her cooing and look down to find her big, blue-grey eyes looking back at me. her sweet face breaks into a big smile, as she gurgles gleefully. i trace her soft little cheeks and chin, feeling my eyes stinging with the burn of tears.

because i know this moment is a fleeting one.

all too soon, she won't want to sit still. she won't just lay here, warm in my arms. we won't get to sit listening to the rain, or rock in the sunshine to the chirping of birds. we won't just stare and study each other's faces until her eyelids grow heavy and she falls asleep on my chest.

i want to remember everything.

i want to remember the sound of emmy's breath, and watching her tiny chest slowly rise and fall. how her soft hair tickles my nose when i kiss her head. i want to remember how she raises her tiny arm when i burp her, or how her legs curl up under her bum when she nestles into me. i want to remember the sight of her asleep in her swing, or how she stretches when i unwrap her from her swaddle blanket. how her tiny fists clutch near her chest as she sleeps, and how her face lights up at the sound of her sister's voice. i want to remember how my heart bursts as i watch her curl into her daddy's arms, or how she gazes at me in the wee hours of the morning. i want to remember the perfumed smell of her baby diapers, and holding her--bundled in a towel--after her bath.

i want to remember watching bella, twirling around in the living room, dancing in such wonder and innocence. i want to remember the sight of her when i crack open her bedroom door at night and see my tiny little girl asleep in a sea of blankets and stuffed animals. or how she asks me to snuggle with her before bed and "sing a couple songs?" i want to remember the feel of her head on my shoulder when she's sleepy, or the sound of her excited giggle as we chase each other and play. i want to remember how she follows nick; they traipse through the yard... her just one step behind him everywhere he goes. i want to remember watching her play with her toys and hearing her read her books. i want to remember how she sweetly asks me how my day is, or how she says "mama". and most of all hearing her sweet little voice talking to jesus. how he must love that sound.

i'm reminded over and over again of how temporary this life is. we are here today and gone tomorrow. in the blink of an eye. i work so hard to treasure all of these moments and i still feel as though it's not enough. like i can't still quite fully grasp them... i can't stop them from slipping through my fingers. time passes all too quickly.

my life is made far richer by these things. these things that i want to remember. it's all of these little moments that are worth far more than anything of worldly value. my love, my babies, my family... god has blessed me abundantly. and these are my *greatest* treasures.

matthew 6:21 says "for where your treasure is, there may your heart be also."

may my heart be focused on these moments that make my life so full. when we leave this world, nothing else will matter but these things that i want to remember.