what's for dinner tonight {healthy chicken fingers}.

so you know when you were little there was one food that you ordered everywhere? fancy restaurants, casual places; didn't matter... you always got the same thing. for my little sis it was either grilled cheese sandwiches or buffalo wings. she would even try to order these at nice places where it seemed a bit out of place. it was her thing. her signature order. me? i was a chicken tender girl. to the core. upon graduation from high school in an attempt to not gain the freshman fifteen i cut chicken fingers, french fries and pretty much every other fried food from my diet for as long as i could.

now, i try to find healthy ways to still have my chicken fingers. i've tried baked versions that were okay... but i found a recipe that i modified and tried tonight and allllll the chicken fingers are cooked in only 2 T. of olive oil and they were super yum. juicy on the inside and crispy on the outside. here's the recipe:

crunchy chicken fingers

* 1 pkg of chicken tenderloins (about 6-7 strips)
* 1/2 c. instant mashed potato flakes
* 1/2 c. panko breadcrumbs (if you've never cooked with panko, get into it! they're japanese breadcrumbs that are super light and make everything really crispy... delish!)
* 1/4 t. salt
* 1/4 t. pepper
* 1/4 t. garlic powder
* 1 egg, 1 egg white, beaten
* 2 T. olive oil

- combine potato flakes, bread crumbs and seasonings in a shallow baking dish
- in another dish, lightly beat egg and egg white
- dip each chicken tenderloin in egg and then coat with the dry mixture; set aside on a plate and allow to sit before cooking
- in a skillet over medium-medium/high heat, use 1 T. of olive oil to cook the first few chicken fingers. cook 4-5 min on each side, or until golden brown. use additional 1 T. of olive oil to cook remaining chicken. you may want to use more oil if you want to go for the "deep fried" taste/look... but i wanted to try to stick to the healthier side, so i stuck to just the 2 T. and it was still very tasty.

we served this with a salad made of greens, sliced strawberries, sunflower seeds and light balsamic vinegarette along with a side of wild rice. i also whipped up some made-from-scratch honey mustard sauce for dipping by combining some yellow mustard, some light mayo and some honey and whisking until smooth. taste to adjust amounts... but very yummy and the perfect dipping sauce for the chicken!

easy.
delicious.
healthy.
{perfect} meal.

my pumpkin.

i haven't written an update on bella in a while...or ever...so i thought i would do that today as i find myself packing away more and more clothes that are now too small. watching her--amazed--everyday as she does something different, or discovers new things. and preparing for her to turn *four* months in just a few days.

{sad face}

she has given me a sweet gift lately... snuggle times at 4:30 in the morning (and no, i don't say that sarcastically). normally i would DESPISE getting up that early... for obvious reasons... but as i have started a new nanny job, her nap schedule has been shifting and she is going to bed earlier at night, which makes her wake up earlier to eat than normal. but there are many precious things about this time in our day. it is quiet and dark and everyone else is sound asleep. i love just listening to the sound of her breathing as she eats and watching her drift off, back to sleep. when she is finished eating, i put her on my chest and just snuggle with her for a while before putting her back in her crib. pre-cious.


i miss the days when she used to fall asleep on my chest multiple times a day. now she's busy looking around more, and wanting to observe everything. i don't rock her to sleep at naptime or bedtime because i want her to learn how to put herself to sleep, which has worked out quite nicely. but still, i miss those times with her. and now, she's giving them to me... even if it's at such an ungodly hour and i'm still half asleep. thanks, bel.


she is growing and changing so much these days. when we drive in the car she talks and talks and talks. she's started this shrieking thing that she does when she just wants to be heard, or is really happy. super. cute. she's obsessed with the tv, and even though we constantly try to hide it from her she will contort her body in whatever way she can to find it. ridiculous.

she LOVES to read so nick&i try to read to her everyday and every night before she goes to bed. her bedtime books are "goodnight moon" and "goodnight, maine". love it. she grabs things now, like rattles, toys and stuffed animals and has a "lovie" (a pink stuffed elephant with a silk blanket attached) that her nonni and papa gave her that goes everywhere with us. she has rolled over a handful of times on her own for a while now, from belly to back, but has yet to master the back-belly roll. although the past few days she has been trying incessantly until she bursts into tears and we come to her rescue. she has been loving friday night lights here in the state of texas. daddy coaches high school football and she has gone to every game so far. it's cooler here at night and she loves getting to hang out and watch all the action. she is SO good and content at the games... nick likes to think she's going to be like the coach's daughter on "remember the titans". maybe, i tell him. just maybe.

and she loves... *loves* her daddy. when he comes home from work, her chubby lil face lights right up with the hugest smile. it's the cutest thing i've ever seen. and kind of makes me fall in love with him all over again.

she also has made some new friends that she is OBSESSED with. i babysit two girls, Olivia (9) and Vivian (7) and they sit in the back of our car talking to bella, playing with her constantly. bella stares at them, smiles and sometimes tries to talk back. she loves them... and the never-ending attention they give her! i also babysit a baby boy, Luke, on thursdays who is the same age as bella and they love to check each other out.

uh-oh.

daddy is already nervous about boyfriends. i try to tell him this is at least sixteen years down the road. still. she is going to be a lil heartbreaker, we are convinced. but of course we are... she's our pumpkin and we think she's pretty darn c-u-t-e.

l-o-v-e.

l-o-v-e, by nat king cole, was the processional song that was played at nick&i's wedding as we were pronounced husband and wife.

love.

according to nat, l is for the way you look at me. o is for the only one i see. v is very very extraordinary. e is even more than anyone that you adore can love is all that i can give to you. love is more than just a game for two. two in love can make it. take my heart and please don't break it. love was made for me and you.

(got that song stuck in your head now?? i do.)

ok, so weird transition to trashy reality tv. but somehow i hope this will make sense. i've been helplessly addicted to "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" for a while now... and this summer got hooked on the "bachelor pad". yes, it's true. it's like passing a bad car accident; somehow you are intrigued and you can't look away. and i have found that i am not the only one to indulge in this guilty pleasure of mine. so, i ask myself, what is the draw?

having been in school studying counseling and psychology for nearly eight years... and working for the past four as a counselor, one conclusion i can draw: we are all looking to love and to be loved. it begins at a young age. for girls, anyway. just take a look at the disney stories and movies we grew up loving. sleeping beauty. snow white. cinderella. beauty and the beast. that's what we loved when we were five. now that we're... well... almost thirty (in my case anyway)... we convert to... well... reality television. as shallow and as perverted as the shows may be, we are suckers for thinking "awww... how sweet" as a couple shares a kiss (before one of them is making out with someone different the next second, or course).

whaaat???

are we this desperate in our society to find love? i can't help but think this as i watch the people on these shows bounce from one person to another, turn on/off feelings like i turn on/off the faucet and throw themselves shamelessly at one another in a desperate attempt to be accepted. what is it about our culture these days that says that falling in love, finding "the one", getting married is the end goal; the ultimate happiness? so much to the point that we will often sacrifice ourselves to get it?

i remember falling prey to some of these thoughts and fears when i was in college... i attended a christian school whose famous phrase was "ring by spring".

geeeeez. what a goal. thanks, people.

i began to feel "less than" if i didn't get married straight out of college like almost everybody else. i remember at one point (in my height of immaturity and loneliness) telling god that i would rather marry the wrong person than to spend my life alone. seriously??! yiiiikes. just admitting that to the blog-world makes me feel a little crazy. thankfully, by god's grace, he woke me up to my own fear and insecurity and taught me how to love myself... all the while slamming every single door of possible relationships for about eight years of my life; praise. god.

so i began to learn how to love myself. how to "date" myself and get to know what i liked, who i was and what made me tick. i didn't want any guy defining that for me. and i certainly didn't want any relationship or man defining my happiness. and i am still on this journey now as a wife and a mom... i love my husband and my baby girl more than anything on this earth, and am continually reminding myself that they don't define me, nor do i define them.

i couldn't thank god MORE for the work he did on my heart... the hedge of protection he built around me until he brought my husband into my life... how he taught me to value and respect and truly LOVE myself.

one of my favorite sayings is: god can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. oh. so. true.

i tell nick allllll the time that it is a good thing that he met me at twenty five instead of twenty two... that would've been a complete disaster. god needed to work on me and bring me to a place where i was capable of loving and being loved in a healthy way.

*healthy*. did you hear that word, people of the "bachelor pad"??

so...just a lil psychology gleaned from reality television. so there really are some benefits to watching it (or so i say to defend myself to my husband's megan-why-are-you-watching-this look). and i won't even charge you a penny.

what's for dinner tonight {buffalo chicken pizza}.

so my husband l-o-v-e-s buffalo wings. like, loves them. me? not. so. much. but when after a busy week for him of coaching football=two-a-days in triple digit temps, i wanted to make something for dinner that he would really like. my sis shared this recipe with me and it was an instant hit in our home. i even liked it. and did i mentioned i'm not a huge fan of buffalo wings? here you go.

buffalo chicken pizza

* 3/4 lb chicken cutlets (i used 4 chicken boneless, skinless chicken tenderloins)
* extra virgin olive oil, for drizzling
* 2 t. grill seasoning (i didn't have this... just seasoned with good ole salt&pepper)
* pizza dough (i use a box of jiffy pizza crust mix; it's about 40 cents... and it's good. yes, please)
* 2 T. butter
* 1 T. worcestershire sauce
* 2-3 T. hot sauce (according to your heat tolerance... i used 1 T. because i'm a wimp... and nick put the rest on his own slices because he's not)
* 1/2 c. tomato sauce
* 1 c. shredded monterey jack cheese
* 1/2 c. blue cheese crumbles (we reduced this a bit; the blue cheese can be pretty pungent)
* 3 scallions, thinly sliced

- preheat oven to 425 degrees.
- drizzle chicken with olive oil, season with grill seasoning (or salt&pepper). cook on grill pan (or in our case we used the trusty george foreman) for 3 minutes on each side until done. set off to the side.
- prepare pizza dough according to package instructions, set pizza pan to the side.
- in a skillet over medium heat, melt butter and stir in worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, and tomato sauces.
- slice chicken into thin strips. add to pan with sauces and coat.
- cover pizza dough with buffalo chicken&sauce, top with cheese and scallions.
- bake 18 minutes, or until crisp and cheese is melted.

so... not our healthiest of recipes, but hey; everyone needs a treat once and a while, right? just serve with a side salad like we do and you'll feel much better. or maybe carrot and celery sticks for the whole buffalo-wings-experience. and even better: once you buy all the ingredients, you have enough for a second pizza (just double up on the boxes of jiffy pizza crust mix. okay, so it may cost you 80 cents; i think you can walk on the wild side, right?)

perfect for a friday night meal with the kiddos, or a rainy-day-middle-of-the-week supper like we did last night. enjoy.

wall vases.

i've said it before and i'll say it again... i *love* finding unique, cheap ways to decorate my home. there's so many things you can do for little money if you can just get creative. this was my goal with a little project i did for bella's room: wall vases.

i have seen wall vases for years in potterybarn catalogues and thought they were an oh-so-cute way to spice up a room. i love flowers, so being able to hang them on the wall? awesome. the pricetag?

not so awesome.

so, i set out determind that could make these on my own for waaaaay less. i love glass bottles and have found some great ones for decor at goodwill and ross (for those of you that don't have ross where you live... it's like a tj's; try there) so, i was able to find two matching bottles at ross (about $2/per bottle) and thus began my wall-vase-making-journey. here are the supplies i gathered:

-2 glass bottles, with necks that can be wrapped with wire for hanging, and the right size for whatever flowers/branches, etc you want to fit inside.

-2 flowers/branches, etc. (i used both... i usually hate fake flowers but found some beautiful ones that looked real; they are a bit more expensive, but totally worth it... and by "expensive", we're talking five bucks)

-1 pkg of medium gauge wire... thick enough to hold the bottle, but thin enough to bend

-1 hot glue gun

-2 nails

-pair of wire-cutters

i began by cutting a long length of wire and hotgluing one end to the back of the neck of the bottle. i then proceeded to wrap the wire around the neck of the bottle several times, hotgluing at the back of the neck as i wrapped to secure. after i felt it was sturdy enough, i formed a loop (which i would use to hang from a nail on the wall) and went over that loop again with additional wire, wrapping the wire around several times at the base of the loop, and reinforcing with hot glue.

after waiting for the glue to dry, i filled the vases with one flower and a couple of branches in each and put a nail in the wall exactly where i wanted to hang the vase. voila.

potterybarn wall vases= 30-60 bucks.

homemade wall vases= 10-15.

satisfaction of doing it yourself= priceless.

what's for dinner tonight {enchilada crockpot chicken}.

this is a *super* easy and yummy (and relatively healthy) recipe that a friend gave to me a couple of months ago. it is so simple, but seriously delish. and inexpensive. and a crockpot meal. triple yes, please.

enchilada crockpot chicken

*4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (if frozen, thawed)
*1 c. salsa
*1 envelope of taco seasoning
*1 can of reduced fat cream of chicken soup
*1/2 c. light sour cream

- place chicken in crockpot, sprinkle with taco seasoning.
- pour salsa and soup over chicken.
- cook on low for 4 hrs (may have to adjust cooking time depending on your crockpot)
- i take 2 forks and shred chicken after it's cooked... it literally just falls apart. mmmmmm.
- turn off heat, stir in sour cream.

i serve over brown rice and with a side of veggies. husbands totally dig this meal too... and it's kid friendly. have i said enough? seriously. go make it.

ponder anew.

one of my favorite hymns, sung at nick&i's wedding, is "praise to the lord, the almighty". there are a couple verses in that song that have captured my heart and seem to describe exactly the season i have found myself in over the past few years. here are the words to this song that i love so dearly...

"praise to the lord, the almighty, the king of creation
o my soul praise him for he is thy health and salvation
all ye who hear, now to his temple draw near
praise him in glad adoration.

praise to the lord who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth
shelters thee under his wings yea so gladly sustaineth
hast thou not seen how thy desires e're have been
granted in what he ordaineth

praise to the lord who doth prosper thy work and defend thee
and surely his goodness and mercy here daily attend thee
ponder anew what the almighty can do
if with his love he befriend thee.

praise to the lord, o let all that is in me adore him
all that hath life and breath come now with praises before him
let the 'amen' sound from his people again
gladly for aye we adore him."

i love the line that pleads "ponder anew what the almighty can do", for this is where i find myself as of late. for years and years i struggled, trying to surrender the deepest desires of my heart over to the lord and trusting him and his timing. i longed for the future; to see the plans that god had for me... to be able to speak truth into the lives of women... to have a ministry to others... to meet the man god had for me to share my life with... to hold a sweet baby--my baby--in my arms... to see years of prayers answered. the years passed. plans changed. school dragged on. jobs, ministries, people changed. the bridesmaids dresses piled up in my closet. god seemed to keep saying :

wait.

so i grew accustomed to relating to god through surrender. trusting him through unfulfilled desire. unexpected changes and struggles. sacrifice and self-denial. walking through, what sometimes, felt like a valley.

today i find myself in a completely different place. i moved to a new city, got to establish who i am, build a new life for myself. i graduated from seminary. i have had the amazing privelege of walking side by side with countless women. the lord did answer my prayer for the husband that he had for me by bringing me nick. he was so much of what i had desired in a man to live life with and seeing god's hand in our relationship and in our story from the beginning was SO CLEAR. a year and a half later, on a sunny spring day in maine we were married. two years later we were blessed with the most precious bundle: bella grace.

for some reason i am not used to relating to god through a season of blessing. i am more used to relating to him through a season of want... a season of trusting... a season of trials. it makes me sad to know that i have forgotten that my god is also the god of good things... gifts... blessings... the desires of our hearts. i remember a very poignant moment for me; i was pregnant with bella and nick&i were sitting on the couch listening to music and "praise to the lord, the almighty" started playing from our ipod. i was singing along and then got to the line "hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been granted in what he ordaineth?" i looked at down at my hand, clasped with nicks... and my swollen belly, occassionally jerking from the life kicking inside... and immediately tears began streaming down my face. i had forgotten to know my god as the giver of good things.

i, in no way, intend to say that i am in a season of my life where all of my longings are met and there are no struggles. the fact that we ate kraft macaroni&cheese and green beans from a can for dinner last week proves that not to be true. my restless heart will always be struggling to be content. i also don't mean to discourage anyone who is finding themselves in that place of unfulfilled desire...

i am merely processing my thoughts as i type these computer keys, and sharing from my heart where i find myself on this journey with me+jesus.

i am learning that i am far better and much more comfortable giving to jesus rather than receiving. which i think grieves his heart just as much as if the opposite were true. i want to be able to fully embrace the gifts that god blesses me with... fearlessly and without abandon... not feeling guilty, not thinking i am undeserving, and certainly not being scared of when they will be taken away because it seems "too good to be true". that is my jesus... he does exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.

so here i sit. pondering anew what the almighty can do. and so far i have concluded: a whole lot.