dear bella.

dear bella,

i just love you with all my heart.  i love watching you grow... you have seemed like such a big girl to me these days.

you love being my helper.  i've been having you help me unload the dishwasher, bake bread and do other projects around the house and you get so proud of yourself.  i love making you feel special.  in typical first born fashion, you thrive under having a sense of responsibility and accomplishment.  it's so cute.

meme got you a microphone recently and you have been LOVING it.  you perform concerts for us and shout at the top of your lungs!  "tomorrow" and "this is my father's world" are two of your recent hits.  you also incorporate dance moves into your performances.  you've got your mama's love for singing and your daddy's dance moves.  i so love your love for music.  you fill our house with song.

lately you've started saying "oh, i'd better go (do such and such)."  you say it with such a sense of urgency, which is so cute because it's usually "oh, i'd better go get dancing" or "oh, i'd better go get my necklaces."  it's makes me giggle every time.

you have been attached to my hip at all times these days.  i have to remind myself i will miss it someday but it's also been exhausting!  you want to sit on my lap at mealtimes, you want me to carry you around the house and be the one to put you to bed every night.  lately if daddy puts you down you cry and cry.  you love him so much; i think part of it is jealousy towards emmy.  you don't like it when i put her to bed.  you've been getting more and more envious of her as she's getting older.  i think you miss that relationship you and i used to have.  i just always want you to know that i love you with all my heart and nothing will EVER change that, my sweet girl.  my heart grew when i had emmy to be able to love you both in a way that only a parent can understand!  you are so special to me, so unique and i just delight in watching you take in the world.  no one will ever take your place!

you've been really cute crawling around on the floor with ems.  you chase her around the house and you both giggle and squeal with excitement.  it just warms my heart like nothing else.  i try to burn those images in my mind; i just never want to forget.

you've also been challenging the past few days with your anger.  you definitely inherited my temper!  you get angry and throw things, or bang your head or slam your door.  not pretty.  we've been trying to teach you that it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to act like that when you're angry.  you are also so strong willed.  if we tell you we're going to take away a toy of yours, or take away your tv time you will say "no!  you can't!"  one time i said "bella, i can do that if i want.  i am your mother."  and you said "no!  you're not my mother!"  geesh.  sometimes you already act as if you're a teenager.  yikes.

you are also obsessed with your blankie.  obsessed!  you always have been, but it's even more so these days.  you can't go anywhere without it and refer to it as if it's a person.  "i gave my blankie a hug.  i squeezed and squeezed him!" you said the other day.  you flip out if we have to wash it... you don't like to be without it for a second!  when i go in to check on you at night before i go to bed, you usually stir when i kiss your forehead.  the minute you stir, you start scrambling, reaching for your blankie.  it's so so sweet.

you are also obsessed with your cousins.  you have discovered the show "super why" on tv and the character's name is wyatt.  almost every day you tell me that you want to go to wyatt's house and watch super why with him.  it's so sweet.  you have to pray for jude every night before bed, and it's always for a different reason.  either he's not feeling good, or he fell, or he has a boo boo.  you went to his birthday party a few weeks ago, and can't stop talking about it.  it's also made you very excited for your birthday party!  you went to the store with daddy the other day to get groceries and you spied a princess cake in the bakery. you've been telling me the past two days that you're going to have a princess party with a princess birthday cake and you get SO excited about it.  i love it.  a princess birthday party we will have, my dear :)

you remember to pray for people every night before bed.  people you might not even know, but you know they're sick or in the hospital because i've told you we need to pray for them.  it is so sweet and just melts my heart that you care so much for people at such a young age.  never lose that, my precious girl!  one of the best qualities you can have is a heart for people.  your bampy would be so proud.  his legacy living on in you.  you also have four bible verses memorized and you do SO well!  there's nothing like hearing your little voice saying god's word.  i hope you develop such a passion and love for scripture and hide it in your heart always.  you really are just so special.

i just love you with all my heart, pumpkin.  you make me so proud.  i could squeeze you forever and ever.

love you to the moon and back (and back again),
mama

a happy heart day.

as i've said before, i love valentine's day.

i love doing special things for my loved ones and making fun memories with my little chickadees.  i had grand plans in my mind of how the day was going to go.  let me start off by saying that nothing really looked the way i had envisioned.  some moments better, some... different.

we woke up wednesday morning and i got the girls in their valentine's outfits.  i'm such a nerd, i know, but i saw these pretty pink frilly skirts on clearance at target for five bucks.  i mean, how could i resist that?!  and just look at the cuteness:

i planned on us taking a morning trip to target to pick up a few items that i needed, and then surprise my mom at work with some candy from the grandbabies.  i finally got the girls in the car and we headed out.  our target trip started off without a hitch.  until bella saw a gift bag with disney princesses on it.  yes.  a gift bag.  apparently she had to have it.  she began a major meltdown while i rushed to gather the rest of my necessities and get in the check out line.  people were staring, i was trying to remain calm, cool and collected while inside i wanted to die.  then she began taking off her shoes and throwing them on the ground.

feel the love?  not the valentine-sy outing i had imagined.

i got to the car, plopped her in her carseat while i began telling her how disappointed i was.  got all my stuff unloaded, buckled emmy in her carseat and before i knew it both of the girls were screaming at the top of their lungs.

we made a quick stop at my mom's office.  as we were walking in, i told bella how lucky she was that we were stopping to visit meme with how she had acted at the store.  "bella, what do you say to me for behaving that way?" i said.  "i'm sorry, mom.  i didn't mean to!"  hmmmmm.

i get the girls home and emmy proceeds to scream all through lunch, refused her bottle and didn't stop crying until i finally put her in her crib and shut the door.

i like making valentine's treats every year for our family and for bella and i to bring around as "special deliveries".  this year, we were making heart-shaped red velvet whoopie pies.  i sit her up on the counter to help me, and as i'm scooping ingredients into my bowl, i realize she had been unscrewing parts to my kitchenaid and putting them in my mixing bowl, unbeknownst to me.

as the whoopie pies are baking, i shoo her into the dining room while i clean up.  after a few minutes i discover that she has scribbled all over the keyboard of our laptop with a hot pink magic marker.

holy cow.

it was an insane day.  topped off with a visit to my grandfather who has been in the icu after a fall he took on tuesday night.

while i love holidays and enjoy doing what i can to make them special, i'm learning to hold my expectations loosely.  i did come home wednesday evening to nick and the girls standing by the door holding tulips and a sweet card they made for me.  it was the most precious sight.  bella came running toward me, so excited to give me their gifts that she fell over her own two feet.  nick told me my aunt was on her way over to babysit and we were going on a date.  i cried.  it was the best.  there's a new restaurant downtown we've been saving a gift card for.  there was an hour wait, so we gave them our name and went next door to an italian market and had a latte (me) and a beer (him) while we waited.  it was a *great* date, the best gift i could've asked for.

thursday night we had my mom and a friend of our family's over for dinner.  i made chicken piccatta, and we ate by candlelight with glasses of wine.  the day ended up much better than it started, and i went to bed with a full and thankful heart... and reminded of how my own expectations can rob me of the joy of the moment.

so grateful for the people in my life.  my cup runneth over.
happy valentine's day (a few days late).

what's for your sweet tooth {red velvet whoopie pies}.

i am such a sucker for holidays.  valentine's day is no exception.  i totally get that people dislike it for the commercialism and aisles upon aisles of pink and red that flood stores on december 26th, but still.  i love it.  each year, i try to do something special for our family.  little craft projects and baking goodies.  candlelit family dinners and special deliveries.

this year, i came across this recipe on pinterest and i knew i had found my valentine's day goodie.  whoopie pies are a huge thing in maine.  huge.  if you aren't familiar with them, the traditional version is two round chocolate cake flats sandwiched with thick, white creamy frosting.  super yummy.  there have been several variations of these treats, but you will find them in gift stores, bakeries, cafes and even gas stations all across our state.

delish.

i also {heart} red velvet cake.  who doesn't?  after living in texas for seven years, this southern delight has totally made it's way into my dessert favs.  so, this recipe is the perfect marriage of my maine heritage and nick's texan one baked into a delicious valentine's day treat.

here is the recipe, taken from the fabulous site, annie's eats.

red velvet whoopie pies

* 2 c. all purpose flour
* 2 T. cocoa powder
* 1/2 t. baking powder
* 1/4 t. salt
* 8 T. butter, softened
* 1 c. light brown sugar, packed
* 1 egg
* 1 t. vanilla
* 1/2 c. buttermilk at room temperature
* a few drops of red food coloring

- whisk flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl.
- in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream together butter and brown sugar on medium speed until fluffy; about two minutes.
- beat in egg until incorporated.  then add vanilla.
- with mixer on low speed, add 1/3 of the dry mixture, followed by half of the buttermilk, beating just until incorporated.  repeat so that all of the buttermilk has been added and then mix the final third of the dry ingredients.  do not overmix!
- add red food coloring until desired shade.
- transfer batter to pastry bag (or a plastic bag and cut the corner for a tip).  pipe heart shapes onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- bake 7-9 minutes, or until cookies are set.  allow to completely cool.

frosting:
* 8 oz. cream cheese
* 5 T. butter, softened
* 2 t. vanilla
* 2 1/2 c. powdered sugar

- cream together cream cheese and butter.  add vanilla.
- add powdered sugar and combine until creamy.
- either pipe or spread frosting with a knife and sandwich heart cookies together.  makes approximately 12 whoopie pies, depending on how big you make your cookies

so delish.  definitely an indulgent treat, but it's valentine's day right?

note: the original recipe instructs you to trace a heart template with a pencil onto parchment paper.  flip paper over and use the traced heart as a guide to pipe your batter.  but, really...who has time for that?  i just winged it.  which is probably why i gave up on hearts halfway through and resorted to just doing plain ole rounds.  either way, equally cute, equally delicious.

enjoy!

snowy days.

snowstorms are my favorite.

they always have been.  life slows down for just a bit, allowing us to stay warm and cozy with the ones we love.  and even as a thirty two year old, i am taken back to my childhood.  the sounds of the plows, looking out the window to check for falling snow, mugs full of hot chocolate... it all just makes me giddy.  all over again.

we knew a storm was coming... a nor easter, they were calling it.  we were excited.  as a teacher and a school counselor, storms add an extra bit of excitement for our household as we anticipate snow days; especially for daddy since i only work parttime and it's always such a treat to have him home with us!  friday morning we woke up to snow.  nick's school was cancelled and it snowed all day long, stopping just before dinner.  as we snuggled the girls in their beds and sat down to watch our newest show addiction (hello, downton abbey), the snow started in again.

that night we went to bed to the sound of snow plows and howling wind, snowflakes swirling through the skies.  saturday morning i woke up at my usual time of 6:30 to make emmy her morning bottle and looked out the kitchen window.  it was snowing so heavily the sky was almost completely white.  all day long it snowed.  we stayed in our jammies, drinking coffee and hot chocolate and watching movies snuggled under quilts.  i didn't want the day to end.

sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful.  we spent the morning outside, pulling the girls in their sled and clearing off the deck and walkways.  it was emmy's first time out in the snow, as i usually take bella outside in the morning while emmy is napping.  she didn't quite know what to think, but sat contentedly in her sled, staring at the fluffy whiteness blanketing our yard.

i love experiencing things through the eyes of my children.  i love making memories with them and creating special moments.  snowy days are perfect for both.

594.  sleds carrying the cutest load:

595.  skies full of snowflakes.

596.  news of school cancellations.
597.  belly-warming soup and homemade crusty french bread.
598.  pajama days.

599.  a whistling tea kettle.
600.  hot chocolate and homemade pop tarts.

601.  little ones wrapped warmly in their hooded towels after bath time.

602.  a good tv show with the mr.

603.  god's heartwarming blessings.  always good to be reminded.

604.  bundled up babies.

thank you, jesus, for allowing life to slow down for a bit... for the beauty of snow... for the love of family.  thank you for all of these things and for always reminding me that we have much to be grateful for.

home tour {our living room}.

we bought our first home this spring and have been very much enjoying making it our very own.  not only is it our first house, but it also belonged to my grandparents.  i have more than twenty years of memories in this cute little place, and now we are getting to add memories of our own family.

it just makes my nostalgia-loving-heart so happy.

our home is nothing fancy; it's a small three bedroom ranch.  we have a lovely front porch with scrolly gingerbread trim and a nice, big backyard.  to us, it's so special.  in this house, nick&i put many hours in on hot summer days painting the walls and stripping wallpaper.  in this house, bella slept in her very first big girl bed and rode her first tricycle in the driveway.  in this house, we welcomed home our sweet emmy faith and became a family of four.  in this house, we have made many meals, danced in the kitchen and rocked on our front porch while drinking wine and listening to the crickets.

i have the horrible tendency to want my house to be perfect in the snap of my fingers.  i have a hard time being patient and taking one home improvement project at a time.  we still have a mustard yellow bathroom, kitchen cupboards and a dining room set begging to be painted and a half-decorated entryway.  and those things can drive me nuts.  but in my continuous journey of gratitude and contentment, i want to always be so very thankful for our home.  i want to focus my sights on the things i love about it, the hard work we've put into it... and not the things that i can't wait to change.

i decided a while ago i wanted to do a home tour on this blog... not to document our perfection, but to show a work in progress.  i don't to wait until it's "done"; i want to be thankful along the way... and i love the idea of having photos of our home for our girls to be able to remember one day.  so, without further ado, here is the first post of our home tour: our living room!

our living room is one of my favorite rooms in our whole house.  it gets lots of natural sunlight and the walls are painted the most perfect shade of robin egg blue (enamelware by martha stewart; i highly reccommend!).  i have loved decorating my house because i have really found my decorating style... i love vintagey-eclectic decor with lots of character and color.  it may seem quirky to some, but i love it.  i'm a firm believer of adoring the things you put in your home, and having your decor reflect your personality.  our living room boasts lots of lace (ikea curtains, vintage doilies and the print on our rug), family heirlooms, gold & silver and family photos.

view from the entryway

pillows: i made the cream one, turquoise one is from urban outfitters

couch, gallery wall and tin foil side tables

gold gallery wall

tin foil side table with a lamp from nick's grandma that i refinished

love this yellow candy dish, which belonged to my grandparents.  this antique carriage clock was given to my parents by a family member around the time i was born

tin foil side table with birdcage vingette on top of antique doilies

antique mason jar on top of old books; these pink roses add a bold pop of color

old dresser i found at salvation army for $30... i refinished it and turned it into a tv stand

old wingback chair that was given to my parents as a wedding gift

family photo and burlap wrapped frames

a birdbath from homegoods turned into side "table"

shot of the living room, looking into the dining room

mini gallery wall with plates and repurposed frames 

anthro monogram stand i bought when nick and i got engaged; the object to the left of the candle is a butter stamp that belonged to my great grandparents

i love our living room rug: urban outfitters

view from the dining room

thanks for humoring me on my journey to document our home... so thankful for this cozy little place, the memories made in it's walls and most of all the people inside of it.

what's for dinner tonight {chicken tortilla soup}.

my mother-in-law makes the best chicken tortilla soup.  it's so so good.  while we spent the holidays in dallas, she whipped some up and i'd been craving it again ever since.  i have her recipe tucked away somewhere, but couldn't remember where i put it.  and in a hurry to get dinner on the table, i started looking up clean eating tortilla soup recipes and found this one.  super easy and super delish.

we have been having some exceptionally cold weather here in new england.  we're talking single digits, people... single digits!  when the weather is cold and snowy, i especially crave comfort food.  i love finding easy, delicious recipes that warm and fill our bellies, but are healthy, too.  this is just the dish to fit my healthified comfort food cravings.

chicken tortilla soup

* 1 T. olive oil
* 1 medium onion, diced
* 1 (7 oz) can of green chiles, drained
* 3 cloves garlic, minced
* 1 1/2 lbs of chicken, cooked and shredded
* 2 c. chicken broth (i used homemade; you can find my recipe here)
* 2 c. water
* 2 (14.5 oz) cans of diced tomatoes
* 1 (14.5 oz) can of corn, drained
* 1 (14.5 oz) can of black beans, rinsed and drained
* chili powder, garlic powder, cumin, salt and pepper to taste
* 1 lime, quartered
* 1 avocado, sliced
* 2 whole wheat tortillas, quartered or sliced into strips
* bunch of cilantro, chopped
* shredded cheese and plain greek yogurt for garnish

- add first four ingredients over medium heat in a large stockpot.  cook until onion is tender.
- add chicken broth, water and tomatoes (with liquid).  cover and bring to a boil, turn heat down to low.  add chicken, beans, corn and spices and allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
- place sliced tortillas on a greased cookie sheet, spray with cooking spray.  bake at 350 until crisp and golden.
- ladle soup into bowls and top with sliced avocado, cilantro, cheese, greek yogurt and lime.

still not as good as my mother-in-laws chicken tortilla goodness, but a quick and easy substitute.

enjoy :)

sick days.

i've developed a new saying: "the family that gets sick together, sticks together".  catchy, eh?  the past couple of weeks have been pretty trying in our little household.  allow me to document the run down... it's quite ridiculous!

the middle of january, my birthday to be exact, emmy's eye started getting goopy and crusty.  with a trip to the pediatrician the next day, we were given eyedrops and told she had the 'itis... conjunctivitis.  ever tried putting eyedrops in a 9 month old's eyes before?  yeah.  not fun.

that same week, i started feeling under the weather.  i knew i was fighting something but as a mom, a homemaker, a wife and a part time school counselor, who has time to be sick?  i pushed through the week, determined to fight it.  friday afternoon i put the girls down for their naps and as if to say "i'm not listening to you" to my lurking sickness, cooked up a storm in my kitchen instead of sleeping on the couch.  by the time nick got home that night, the sickness had beat me.  i had teeth-chattering chills, a fever, cough, headache, runny nose, the whole nine yards.  to bed i went, and stayed there quite honestly for the next three or four days.  literally couldn't stay awake.  finally went to the dr and was told i had the flu.

wednesday of that week, bella woke up with a fever.  she laid around pretty much motion-less and developed a bad, hacking cough.  emmy also came down with a bad cough and runny nose.  after a few days of them being sick, one sunday i finally scheduled them for an afternoon appointment with their pediatrician who happened to be on call that weekend.  we packed up the girls and not even five minutes from our house, nick had to pull the car over and threw up continuously on the side of the road.  true story.

my mom saved the day and met me at the doctor's office.  bella was diagnosed with the flu, and emmy a virus.  got girls home and in bed for their naps.  upon waking up, i noticed bella's eye was mysteriously crusty.  over the next few hours, it was so goopy i knew she had come down with conjunctivitis.  luckily, we still had emmy's eyedrops leftover from her bout with it a week ago.  what's harder than getting eyedrops into a 9 month old's eyes?  getting said eyedrops into a 2 1/2 year old's eyes.  yeah.  not fun.  oh, and did i forget to mention that same day emmy woke up from her nap with goopy eyes all over again?  so, now we have the flu, conjunctivitis and a stomach bug all descending on our little household all at once.

the girls continued to get better; nick went back to work the next day.  i began feeling better and then started feeling worse all over again; sore throat, congested nose and hacking cough.  by wednesday i had lost my voice and thursday morning i woke up and could barely swallow.  i had help from a dear family friend who graciously watched the girls for me so i could drag myself to the doctor's office... again.  a week after i was diagnosed with the flu, i was told i had strep throat.  at that point, really, all i could do was laugh.

it's definitely been a rough couple of weeks for us and through periods of tears and feeling incredibly beaten down, god has shown up and carried us through it.  it's not easy for me to ask for help, or to allow nick to serve me... and god has definitely broken me of that through this season of sickness.  my husband has waited on me, taken the housework on his shoulders, cared for the girls and cooked a whole lot.  friends and family have helped with watching the girls, bringing us meals and leaving sweet care packages on our doorstep.

thank you, jesus, for reminding me that i don't have to have it all together.  i don't have to be afraid to ask for help, or to allow others to take care of me.  i need that.  we all need that.

579.  snuggle time with my sick girls.
580.  allowing myself to be still.
581.  pink gerbera daisies from my man.

 

582.  ginger ale & ice.
583.  heaping piles of blankets.  warm and cozy.
584.  sisters bonding in the sunlight.

585.  my mom's homemade chicken pie.  still one of my most favorite comfort foods.
586.  top knots and leopard jeans.

587.  drinking tea and watching downton abbey with the mr.
588.  emmy signing "touchdown!" in time for the superbowl.

589.  popsicles.  even when you're thirty two.
590.  hearing your two year old say "mama, i've missed you" after being in bed sick for a few days.  heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.
591.  daddy snuggles.

592.  surprise deliveries of orange juice, flowers, magazines and cough drops on our front porch.
593.  being loved into humility.

so many blessings, even in life's discouraging seasons.  very thankful for all of these things.