dear bella.

dear bella,

i just love you with all my heart.  i love watching you grow... you have seemed like such a big girl to me these days.

you love being my helper.  i've been having you help me unload the dishwasher, bake bread and do other projects around the house and you get so proud of yourself.  i love making you feel special.  in typical first born fashion, you thrive under having a sense of responsibility and accomplishment.  it's so cute.

meme got you a microphone recently and you have been LOVING it.  you perform concerts for us and shout at the top of your lungs!  "tomorrow" and "this is my father's world" are two of your recent hits.  you also incorporate dance moves into your performances.  you've got your mama's love for singing and your daddy's dance moves.  i so love your love for music.  you fill our house with song.

lately you've started saying "oh, i'd better go (do such and such)."  you say it with such a sense of urgency, which is so cute because it's usually "oh, i'd better go get dancing" or "oh, i'd better go get my necklaces."  it's makes me giggle every time.

you have been attached to my hip at all times these days.  i have to remind myself i will miss it someday but it's also been exhausting!  you want to sit on my lap at mealtimes, you want me to carry you around the house and be the one to put you to bed every night.  lately if daddy puts you down you cry and cry.  you love him so much; i think part of it is jealousy towards emmy.  you don't like it when i put her to bed.  you've been getting more and more envious of her as she's getting older.  i think you miss that relationship you and i used to have.  i just always want you to know that i love you with all my heart and nothing will EVER change that, my sweet girl.  my heart grew when i had emmy to be able to love you both in a way that only a parent can understand!  you are so special to me, so unique and i just delight in watching you take in the world.  no one will ever take your place!

you've been really cute crawling around on the floor with ems.  you chase her around the house and you both giggle and squeal with excitement.  it just warms my heart like nothing else.  i try to burn those images in my mind; i just never want to forget.

you've also been challenging the past few days with your anger.  you definitely inherited my temper!  you get angry and throw things, or bang your head or slam your door.  not pretty.  we've been trying to teach you that it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to act like that when you're angry.  you are also so strong willed.  if we tell you we're going to take away a toy of yours, or take away your tv time you will say "no!  you can't!"  one time i said "bella, i can do that if i want.  i am your mother."  and you said "no!  you're not my mother!"  geesh.  sometimes you already act as if you're a teenager.  yikes.

you are also obsessed with your blankie.  obsessed!  you always have been, but it's even more so these days.  you can't go anywhere without it and refer to it as if it's a person.  "i gave my blankie a hug.  i squeezed and squeezed him!" you said the other day.  you flip out if we have to wash it... you don't like to be without it for a second!  when i go in to check on you at night before i go to bed, you usually stir when i kiss your forehead.  the minute you stir, you start scrambling, reaching for your blankie.  it's so so sweet.

you are also obsessed with your cousins.  you have discovered the show "super why" on tv and the character's name is wyatt.  almost every day you tell me that you want to go to wyatt's house and watch super why with him.  it's so sweet.  you have to pray for jude every night before bed, and it's always for a different reason.  either he's not feeling good, or he fell, or he has a boo boo.  you went to his birthday party a few weeks ago, and can't stop talking about it.  it's also made you very excited for your birthday party!  you went to the store with daddy the other day to get groceries and you spied a princess cake in the bakery. you've been telling me the past two days that you're going to have a princess party with a princess birthday cake and you get SO excited about it.  i love it.  a princess birthday party we will have, my dear :)

you remember to pray for people every night before bed.  people you might not even know, but you know they're sick or in the hospital because i've told you we need to pray for them.  it is so sweet and just melts my heart that you care so much for people at such a young age.  never lose that, my precious girl!  one of the best qualities you can have is a heart for people.  your bampy would be so proud.  his legacy living on in you.  you also have four bible verses memorized and you do SO well!  there's nothing like hearing your little voice saying god's word.  i hope you develop such a passion and love for scripture and hide it in your heart always.  you really are just so special.

i just love you with all my heart, pumpkin.  you make me so proud.  i could squeeze you forever and ever.

love you to the moon and back (and back again),
mama