dear bella.

dear bella,

i am SO proud to be your mom.

you have the sweetest spirit.  you are so kind and thoughtful of your friends and the people around you.  i can't tell you how many times you cup my face in your little hands and tell me how much you love me.  the other night i said "oh, bella you are my sweet little girl."  you stroked the sides of my face and said in your sticky sweet voice without missing a beat "oh, mama you are my sweet big mama."

your little buddy, wyatt came to gymnastics class with you today!  you were SO excited.  you told me you were going to help him and show him around and introduce him to alllll of your gymnastics friends.  at the end of class, your teacher passed out papers to everyone but wyatt didn't get them because he was visiting.  he burst into tears because he felt left out (poor little guy), and you immediately rushed to his side and started rubbing his back.  one of the other moms turned to me and said "she is just the sweetest girl."  you really are, my love.

one of the highlights of your LIFE thus far is that you got to be a flower girl in our friends kristin and josh's wedding back in february in dallas!  you were SO EXCITED!  you got to go to the nail salon with all of us bridesmaids and have your first manicure... you were loving life!  and you got to wear a super fancy dress and pretty shoes and walk down the aisle in front of a church full of people.  you did amazing.  when people would ask you whose wedding it was, you'd say "mine and kristin's!"  you were attached to her hip whenever you could be, just admiring her the entire time; she was like a princess to you.  mama and daddy went to help them prepare for the wedding one night and the next morning you woke up and climbed into bed with us.  you held my face in your hands and said "ooooh, mama!  thanks so much for working on my wedding last night!"  you are too much, little girl!

you love your sister so much but sometimes you guys get into squabbles.  she can get pretty feisty with you and you are so patient with her.  the other day you came in my room and started talking to me.  you were a little bit distressed.  you said "mom, i just try to be emmy's friend but she doesn't know how to be my best friend!"  i have to explain to you often that she's still little and doesn't always understand.  it's so awesome for me to see the friendship you two have.  she's the first person you want to see in the morning, and you both just squeal with excitement when you burst through her bedroom door!

you are all about gymnastics these days.  i keep asking you if you want to try dance soon, but you just keep telling me that you want to stay gymnastics.  lately, you've been telling everyone that you're going to be a cheerleader.  today in the car, you kept talking about it and i said "bel, don't you want to play basketball?"  exasperated, you said "but MOOOM, i'm not a boy!" i said "well, i played basketball and i'm a girl!" but you assured me you wanted nothing to do with that, and you couldn't wait to be a cheerleader.  you said "i can't wait to tell miss robin today that i'm going to be a cheerleader!" and you did just that.  the minute we got to gymnastics class you walked right in and announced it to your teacher.  you crack me up.  i can't wait to see what you love and develop a passion for.  i want you to know--even if it's cheerleading--that i will be your biggest fan and support you every step of the way!  i love you so much, and know you are going to have an impact on this world no matter how you choose to invest your gifts and talents that god has given  you.

you've been so excited to start school!  you found a lunchbox that you used to take to your old babysitter's the other day and you got so excited.  when i was putting you to bed that night you told me "mom!  i'm all packed for school in the morning!  i can't wait to see all my friends!"  you are such a little social butterfly.  friends mean so much to you already.  it makes my heart so happy.

your favorite things right now are: apples.  you eat two almost every day.  you're obsessed.  snacks.  you're constantly asking me for them.  like, every twenty minutes!  angelina ballerina.  it's your favorite thing going right now.  well, besides frozen.  elsa braids.  you ask for me to put your hair in an "elsa braid" almost every day.  and it's not fully an "elsa braid" until you flip it over one shoulder.  you've been talking about your frozen birthday party since january.  and you're birthday isn't until may.  church.  by mid-week you and emmy both start asking when we're going back to church.  i love it.  the food network.  you love your cooking shows and are always asking to watch them with me.  pioneer woman and trisha yearwood are two of your favs.  you've started pretending you're on the food network alot recently while you're eating your food or playing with your kitchen.  you start describing how things taste, and just last night i made soup for dinner and you said "oh, mama, this soup is delightful."  the song "oh how i love jesus".  i sing this to you and emmy all the time because it was one of the songs bampy started singing in the hospital as he was getting ready to go to heaven.  so we sing it every night as our bedtime song, and you can't go to sleep without it.  i'll say "bella, what song do you want to sing?" and you'll say "it tells me of a saviors love!"  you know all of the words and it's the most precious sound.

today you cut yourself on a broken jar and it was pretty deep.  i told you i needed to clean it and put a band-aid on it and that i needed you to be brave.  you took a deep breath and almost in a whisper, you kept repeating "i'm not afraid, i'm not afraid..." over and over.  i was so proud of you!

you've also started getting pretty demanding, which we've had to talk to you about a lot lately.  you want what you want, when you want it, so we've had to work with you on being respectful and patient.  the other day we were shopping for lucy's birthday present.  we found a minnie cash register that was just perfect and you wanted it.  you kept asking me over and over if lucy could share with you, and i kept reminding you that it was her birthday gift and i'm sure she'd let you play with it, but that it was hers.  you kind of had a rough morning and later that afternoon, you were snuggled up in my lap and out of the blue you said "mom, i think i have been a little bit sad about lulu's birthday present."  i was so impressed that you could see that in yourself and communicate it to me.  so, we talked about the importance of being excited for other people when they get things, even when it's things we may want.

you've gotten a lot better with controlling your emotions.  it was ROUGH there for a while, girl.  it's funny because you'll tell people often "i have to work on controlling my emotions" and daddy and i will always stifle a laugh because it sounds so funny coming out of a three year old's mouth.  we're still working on listening; you're very strong willed so if you're doing something and we ask you to stop, you'll say "but i'm trying to ____" rather than just obeying immediately.  it gets a little wearing on our patience, but we're trying to help you listen and obey better.  you're like a little monkey constantly jumping and climbing on everything in this house!!  it drives me crazy sometimes!!

you are the best apologizer; sometimes it worries me that you apologize TOO much!  when you get hurt, you apologize, or when you legitimately do something accidentally, you apologize.  you're very sensitive and genuinely feel sorry when you know you've messed up.  i just love your tender heart and your humility. those are such important and special character qualities to have, my girl.

i can't believe how fast you're growing up.  it makes me so sad, but you've promised me that you'll be my baby forever ;)  i always want to remember this season of princess dresses, all things girly, you wanting me to play with you, you and emmy making forts in your closet, hearing your giggles and giving you butterfly kisses.  i will be honest, i won't miss the tantrums and the public embarrassment moments and having to repeat myself a million times because you're jumping on all of our furniture or doing something i'm asking you not to do... but i love you--ALL of you--with all my heart.

proud of you, my girl,
love you to the moon and back (and back and back!)
mama