dear bella,
we have been having a very fun fall. it's been busy and we've been on the go a lot, but we've also had some cozy days at home too which are always some of my favorites. i just love watching you play. you could entertain yourself for hours with your dolls and toys. and you love playing with emmy; you are such a good big sister and friend. you are my free spirit, my tender hearted one, my little girl who is full of energy and confidence. i'm so proud of you, my sweet pea.
you've loved going to daddy's football games! i tell you alot how when you were a teeny tiny baby daddy was coaching football in texas. you and i drove all over creation and went to every single game of his. i remember nursing you in the car and then securing you in my wrap so you were close to my chest. you'd fall asleep and i just loved having you in my arms, looking down at your sweet little face so peaceful amidst all the noise and bright lights. i miss those days, but i try to enjoy taking you and ems to daddy's games now, even though it's stressful and a bit crazy! a few of his games have been at fields where there have been big patches of grass nearby for you to run in. i just love watching you and ems, running around in the moonlight, noses chilled from the cold and squealing with laughter and giggles as you chase each other (one game jude and lulu came to and yall chased each other the entire time!). other games have not been so easy, but watching you run out to jump in daddy's arms at the end of each game makes it worth it. you love him so much. one game he didn't realize you were trying to get to him, and you stood behind him in the line where the players shake each other's hands. you started going through the line and i laughed as i watched the other team's players get to you and seem very confused as they shook your hand too. so funny.
we've had some fun road trips to daddy's away games; one game meme came with us to bar harbor. we stopped at jordans, one of our fav spots, on the way there and you and ems played outside before and after we ate. there was a high covered slide that you were really afraid to try going down (which is so unlike you!). i told you to try and be brave, and after a few times of trying to muster up the courage, you did it! and you were SO proud of yourself! meme and i cheered and cheered; you had a huge smile on your face! you said "i was very, very afraid, but i was brave!" we went to bar harbor, bundled you and ems up in the stroller and got ice cream while we walked. another trip we took with the head coach's wife, sarah, and their two girls, lucy and annie in their van. all of you girls did so well! you ate snacks and watched barney on the way there. i love putting you and ems in your footie pj's before we drive back so you can be warm and cozy for the way home (and you always fall asleep).
we went to a farm the other day where we fed goats, went on hayrides and got ice cream. you LOVED it. the hayride was your favorite part. the driver had just finished his last run for the night, but you went running straight for the tractor. i asked him if he was done and he said "well i was planning on it, but if i stopped now i'd have one unhappy customer!" i looked and saw you had already taken your seat on one of the blocks of hay, ready for the ride. you just loved it :)
you LOVE animals. we have this game we play where i'll describe an animal and you'll guess what it is. you're pretty good! you guess animals like flamingos, hippos, penguins and donkeys... it's your favorite thing to play right now and you are always asking "mama, can we play the animal game?!" i have to rack my brain to come up with new animals to have you guess :)
we've been going to the library lately and you've really enjoyed it. you're not too interested in picking out books yet as you and ems run right for all the toys in the children's room and play while i pick out books. but we get a stack each time and you LOVE reading through them! last week i told you that we had to take your books back and we could get new ones, but you wanted to just keep the same ones you loved reading them so much.
you love your babysitter, michelle. she had a big fall party at her house yesterday for all the kids that she watches. there was a bounce house, pinatas, lots of food and piles of leaves to jump in. you had been excited for it all week. one of your buddies, dakota, was there. she is a few years older than you, but her mama and me are really close friends, all the way back to high school! you love each other, and she gave you a piggy back ride everywhere the whole party. so cute. it was so fun seeing you right at home and in your element and get to meet some of your friends that you talk about every week. i didn't think i would ever get you out of that bounce house!
the other night i had an online class via skype, so i was in my bedroom in the middle of class. before daddy could stop you, my door flew open and you ran in yelling "mama, mama! i pooped on the potty and i wiped my butt!" you were so proud and i couldn't help but laugh. it was awesome.
tonight i made dinner and you loved it; salad and spaghetti squash which was an awesome surprise that you gobbled it right up. as i was cleaning up the kitchen afterward, you nearly plowed me over with a hug. after kissing my cheek you whispered in my ear "you are a fabulous maker, mommy. i really like you" and off you went. ohhhh my sweet girl, you just melt my heart. i really like you, bella grace. a whole lot.
friday night we went to a spaghetti dinner at daddy's school for football players. there were lots of people there, and you and ems and lucy and annie were running around on the stage. with no prompting at all, you began to belt out three separate performances of "tomorrow" from annie, complete with dance moves and all the high notes. when people would clap for you, you'd curtsy and say "thank you, thank you, thank you soooo much everyone!" you were so so cute! daddy and i could not stop laughing. you are definitely not shy, my love :)
you love your sister so much. you are really so patient with her when she is bugging you; she'll pull your hair, or aggravate you and i'm really proud of how well you do with her. my favorite is when you come up to her and pat the side of her face and say "oh emmy, you're my poochy poochy baby!" you're such a little mama. so sweet. and funny.
you've been having a hard time at bedtime. you stall and say you need a drink, and then you're hungry, and then you are afraid of the dark. i've been explaining to you that when you are afraid you can pray and ask jesus to help you. the other night, i was trying to tell you that when you feel afraid and think you are alone, you really aren't... that god is right there with you and he will comfort you when you're afraid. you said "mama, where is he?" i said "well he's right here in this room you just can't see him." i'll never forget the look on your face; your eyes darted all around the room without your neck moving a muscle. you were so confused and had no idea what i was talking about! we talk about it every night so i think it will sink in at some point! but we've had to pray with you almost every night that god would help you to feel safe when you are afraid of the dark. i hope that even at your young age you can start learning that god is with you in all of your fears.
i love you so much, baby girl. i am so very, very proud to be your mama. it is one of the greatest joys and privileges of my life.
love you to the moon and back (and back and back),
mama
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