dear bella.

dear bella,

ohhh my girl.  you really are a girl in every sense of the word.  sticky sweet, into everything pretty and princess, and your emotions are all over the map.  this does not bode well for us in about ten years, by the way.  we are trying to work with you on controlling yourself when you get sad, angry, frustrated, you name it.  your current handle of these feelings is not so pretty.  i find myself telling you to have self control, or that your behavior is unacceptable quite a lot.  i try to be patient with you, but some days i fail miserably.  friday you threw such fits that when daddy was on his way home from work, i called him crying.  i have never done that before.  but you did me in!  i'm sorry for the days i fail you.  i will have them--many of them--and i hope that i will be quick to apologize to you and let you know how special you are to me.  i will love you with my whole heart always and nothing will ever ever change that!  been telling you that a lot lately too.

you are talking more and more and coming up with such funny stuff.  you're phrase of the week is when i ask you a question you respond with "hmmm... i think i'd like...{whatever your choice is}."  it's so cute.  the other night you started throwing a fit when some friends of ours were over.  i tried to help calm you down, and you ended up pulling it together well.  a few minutes later in front of everyone you said "thanks so much, mama.  thanks for helping me to stop crying."  you are so thoughtful of other people and so sweet to ask very considerate questions.  you always ask people how they're doing, how their day is, etc.  the other night meme kept you and emmy for me and daddy to go on a date.  after we picked you up the next morning, we went to sams.  while daddy and emmy checked out, you and i went walking hand in hand throughout the store.  you said "so, mama.  how was your time with daddy at your school?"  you always think if we're away from you that we are at our schools.  it's so cute and it just warmed my heart that you thought to ask me how our time together was!

i have been under the weather this week and every morning you've asked me if i'm feeling better.  you have snuggled with me, been concerned for me and kissed and stroked my forehead.  you are just the sweetest, sweetest little thing.  i have days where i get very sad because i miss bampy.  one day last week we were in the kitchen cooking together and listening to our music and a song came on that always reminds me of him.  i started to cry.  you asked me what was wrong and i said "i just miss bampy a whole lot." you squeezed your arms around my neck (my favorite thing ever) and said "it's okay mama.  i got you."  i hope and pray your heart stays this sweet always.  i couldn't ask for a better quality in you, my daughter; a love and concern for people, and extending kindness to them.  i am so very proud of you.

you've also been thriving lately in your role as big sis.  emmy had pinkeye this week and you were so sweet in looking out for her and giving her lots of love.  yesterday i got her up from her morning nap and the three of us snuggled on the couch (my arms felt so wonderfully full!).  you kept hugging her and kissing her and talking in that sticky sweet voice of yours.  you looked at me and said "oh, mama, i missed her so much!"

you are my little singer and dancer.  our constant battle with you is getting you to sit in your seat at mealtime. you get down constantly and when we tell you to stay in your seat until you asked to be excused you say "i'm dancin!"  even when there's no music on.  i love your love for music!  you have almost all the songs from "annie" memorized. your favorite is the "smile song" you call it.  at the top of your lungs you yell "hey hobo man, hey dapper dan!  you both got your style, but brother you're never fully dressed without a smile!"

i never want to forget the sound of your voice.  it is just so cute.  you're response to almost everything right now?  "oh, sure!"

you love your babysitter, jesse.  she does all kinds of crafts and art projects with you and you have so much fun with her!  every day i come home and you are just so happy and chatter on and on about your day.  you couldn't wait to see her when we got back from christmas in dallas.  "mama is jesse coming tomorrow?  i yuv her."  it makes me so so happy!  for christmas you gave daddy&i a book of a bunch of art and learning projects she did with you.  it was very special.  she introduced you to rice cakes and you are obsessed!  i think you'd eat them all day long if we let you :)

tonight i've loved listening to you and daddy play.  he has been chasing you around the house, and you'll run and hide, giggling like crazy.  i can't tell you how much i love the fact that you have the wonderful daddy that you have.  i was blessed with that too, baby girl, and it is such a special gift.  always know how much he loves you and how BLESSED you are to have him as your daddy.  he will be protective over you and be stricter at times than you will want him to be, but it's because you are one of our most *precious* gifts and we treasure you with all of our hearts... daddy will be your protector, your cheerleader, your provider, your rock, your prince until he hands you over to the man you marry.

i love you with all of my heart, my little scuttle bug.  so proud of you.

to the moon and back,
mama