wall vases.

i've said it before and i'll say it again... i *love* finding unique, cheap ways to decorate my home. there's so many things you can do for little money if you can just get creative. this was my goal with a little project i did for bella's room: wall vases.

i have seen wall vases for years in potterybarn catalogues and thought they were an oh-so-cute way to spice up a room. i love flowers, so being able to hang them on the wall? awesome. the pricetag?

not so awesome.

so, i set out determind that could make these on my own for waaaaay less. i love glass bottles and have found some great ones for decor at goodwill and ross (for those of you that don't have ross where you live... it's like a tj's; try there) so, i was able to find two matching bottles at ross (about $2/per bottle) and thus began my wall-vase-making-journey. here are the supplies i gathered:

-2 glass bottles, with necks that can be wrapped with wire for hanging, and the right size for whatever flowers/branches, etc you want to fit inside.

-2 flowers/branches, etc. (i used both... i usually hate fake flowers but found some beautiful ones that looked real; they are a bit more expensive, but totally worth it... and by "expensive", we're talking five bucks)

-1 pkg of medium gauge wire... thick enough to hold the bottle, but thin enough to bend

-1 hot glue gun

-2 nails

-pair of wire-cutters

i began by cutting a long length of wire and hotgluing one end to the back of the neck of the bottle. i then proceeded to wrap the wire around the neck of the bottle several times, hotgluing at the back of the neck as i wrapped to secure. after i felt it was sturdy enough, i formed a loop (which i would use to hang from a nail on the wall) and went over that loop again with additional wire, wrapping the wire around several times at the base of the loop, and reinforcing with hot glue.

after waiting for the glue to dry, i filled the vases with one flower and a couple of branches in each and put a nail in the wall exactly where i wanted to hang the vase. voila.

potterybarn wall vases= 30-60 bucks.

homemade wall vases= 10-15.

satisfaction of doing it yourself= priceless.

what's for dinner tonight {enchilada crockpot chicken}.

this is a *super* easy and yummy (and relatively healthy) recipe that a friend gave to me a couple of months ago. it is so simple, but seriously delish. and inexpensive. and a crockpot meal. triple yes, please.

enchilada crockpot chicken

*4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (if frozen, thawed)
*1 c. salsa
*1 envelope of taco seasoning
*1 can of reduced fat cream of chicken soup
*1/2 c. light sour cream

- place chicken in crockpot, sprinkle with taco seasoning.
- pour salsa and soup over chicken.
- cook on low for 4 hrs (may have to adjust cooking time depending on your crockpot)
- i take 2 forks and shred chicken after it's cooked... it literally just falls apart. mmmmmm.
- turn off heat, stir in sour cream.

i serve over brown rice and with a side of veggies. husbands totally dig this meal too... and it's kid friendly. have i said enough? seriously. go make it.

ponder anew.

one of my favorite hymns, sung at nick&i's wedding, is "praise to the lord, the almighty". there are a couple verses in that song that have captured my heart and seem to describe exactly the season i have found myself in over the past few years. here are the words to this song that i love so dearly...

"praise to the lord, the almighty, the king of creation
o my soul praise him for he is thy health and salvation
all ye who hear, now to his temple draw near
praise him in glad adoration.

praise to the lord who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth
shelters thee under his wings yea so gladly sustaineth
hast thou not seen how thy desires e're have been
granted in what he ordaineth

praise to the lord who doth prosper thy work and defend thee
and surely his goodness and mercy here daily attend thee
ponder anew what the almighty can do
if with his love he befriend thee.

praise to the lord, o let all that is in me adore him
all that hath life and breath come now with praises before him
let the 'amen' sound from his people again
gladly for aye we adore him."

i love the line that pleads "ponder anew what the almighty can do", for this is where i find myself as of late. for years and years i struggled, trying to surrender the deepest desires of my heart over to the lord and trusting him and his timing. i longed for the future; to see the plans that god had for me... to be able to speak truth into the lives of women... to have a ministry to others... to meet the man god had for me to share my life with... to hold a sweet baby--my baby--in my arms... to see years of prayers answered. the years passed. plans changed. school dragged on. jobs, ministries, people changed. the bridesmaids dresses piled up in my closet. god seemed to keep saying :

wait.

so i grew accustomed to relating to god through surrender. trusting him through unfulfilled desire. unexpected changes and struggles. sacrifice and self-denial. walking through, what sometimes, felt like a valley.

today i find myself in a completely different place. i moved to a new city, got to establish who i am, build a new life for myself. i graduated from seminary. i have had the amazing privelege of walking side by side with countless women. the lord did answer my prayer for the husband that he had for me by bringing me nick. he was so much of what i had desired in a man to live life with and seeing god's hand in our relationship and in our story from the beginning was SO CLEAR. a year and a half later, on a sunny spring day in maine we were married. two years later we were blessed with the most precious bundle: bella grace.

for some reason i am not used to relating to god through a season of blessing. i am more used to relating to him through a season of want... a season of trusting... a season of trials. it makes me sad to know that i have forgotten that my god is also the god of good things... gifts... blessings... the desires of our hearts. i remember a very poignant moment for me; i was pregnant with bella and nick&i were sitting on the couch listening to music and "praise to the lord, the almighty" started playing from our ipod. i was singing along and then got to the line "hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been granted in what he ordaineth?" i looked at down at my hand, clasped with nicks... and my swollen belly, occassionally jerking from the life kicking inside... and immediately tears began streaming down my face. i had forgotten to know my god as the giver of good things.

i, in no way, intend to say that i am in a season of my life where all of my longings are met and there are no struggles. the fact that we ate kraft macaroni&cheese and green beans from a can for dinner last week proves that not to be true. my restless heart will always be struggling to be content. i also don't mean to discourage anyone who is finding themselves in that place of unfulfilled desire...

i am merely processing my thoughts as i type these computer keys, and sharing from my heart where i find myself on this journey with me+jesus.

i am learning that i am far better and much more comfortable giving to jesus rather than receiving. which i think grieves his heart just as much as if the opposite were true. i want to be able to fully embrace the gifts that god blesses me with... fearlessly and without abandon... not feeling guilty, not thinking i am undeserving, and certainly not being scared of when they will be taken away because it seems "too good to be true". that is my jesus... he does exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.

so here i sit. pondering anew what the almighty can do. and so far i have concluded: a whole lot.

my new gig.

that's right. i have a new gig. and i kind of like it. okay... i REALLY like it. but let me start way back at the beginning...

i love how god works in our lives. i love when his plans are SO clearly shown that we have no doubt that it is his hand at work, guiding our every step. even when times are scary. even when we doubt and fear and don't know how it all makes sense. we can cling to the times that we felt him SO near... speaking to us SO clearly.

nick and i started praying about starting a family last august. he got all giddy one night and said he wanted us to start trying. we decided to start praying about "pulling the ole goalie". the next day, we began seeing the name "bella" everywhere. in magazines. on the side of trucks. on tv as a commercial for hardwood floors (no, we did not name our daughter after bellawood floors... thank you, bob vila. and let me just take this opportunity to say that we DID NOT name our daughter after any books or movies regarding vampires, either). this may not seem like a big deal to you who are reading this post, but to us it was god talking. we had talked about naming our daughter bella if we ever had one some day... so the fact that it was popping up everywhere seemed as though god was hinting at something...

to make a long story short, a month later (give or take) i read the words on a stick that would forever change my life: pregnant. (!!!!!!)

i had just started working pursuing my texas licensed professional counseling license and was working five days a week between seeing clients at a private practice, working two ten hour days as an administrative assistant for the same practice, and doing some contract work performing psych evals at a health clinic in dallas. i was committed to still pursuing what i felt like god had in store for me, but balancing being a mom at the same time. we had bella all signed up for a daycare at first baptist dallas, where nick is a school teacher, and she was going to go with him three days a week and still get to be with me the other two. i had always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom, but this mom/career balance seemed like it was what god had in store. it was a great plan. we thought it was the PERFECT plan. enter: god.

the closer i got to my due date, i started praying that the lord would allow me as much time with my daughter as possible. however that were to work out, i just wanted to get time with her even with my career pursuit. i even prayed "okay, god... this is what nick and i have set up... if this isn't what you have for our family, have something fall through... close a door." well, he did. as i wrote about on an earlier post, the daycare called nick a month after bel was born and informed us that they were closing.

door officially closed. slammed shut, actually.

after many prayers, scrambling to try to figure out what our options were next, my heart was being pulled day after day by sweet little smiles, bright squinty eyes and craaaaazy hair. i felt like god was answering my prayer... of course in a different way than i thought he would... but i was going to get to spend A LOT more time with little bella grace. nick and i both knew that god was leading us to have me stay at home.

sometimes it's scary... okay, most of the time it's scary... as we try to cut down on our budget, get rid of access, simplify our life and depend on the lord's faithful provision for our family. but we can see little glimpses of this god who operates on faith... not on fear. we're learning more--so much more--about who he is and how to TRUST.

so... now i am officially a stay-at-home-mama. i finished up with my wonderful clients this last weekend. it was bittersweet, to say the least. but there's something about being right where you know god has you that makes everything a little less scary (a little less scary sometimes!) so now i read childrens books that are kind of annoying, honestly, but cute at the same time... ESPECIALLY when i read them to her. it's a good day if i get a shower in but when i do i can peek out the curtain at a smiling little munchkin flailing away in her bouncer seat. i don't get to drink my morning coffee until about 11:30 when she's down for her afternoon nap, but my morning before that is filled with singing, playing, rocking and cuddling. i take her to other homes a few days a week so i can make some added income for our family by watching their children and still getting to be with her. we're kind of like the traveling mary poppins duo. except i don't have the carpet bag... nor can i fly. that would be nice.

so this is my new gig. and there is NO PLACE i'd rather be. i'm learning there is no "plan b" with god... he knows right from the start what is going to happen. nothing is a surprise to him and nothing throws him for a loop. he knows the desires of our hearts better than we even do... and is faithful--sooo faithful--to give them to us.

bella's name (bella grace: beautiful grace) is a constant reminder to me... god's beautiful grace has gone before us and will continue to as we follow him on the path he has us on.

what's for dinner tonight {brown butter gnocchi with spinach and pinenuts}.

my mom emailed me this recipe a couple of years ago from "cooking light" and i have to say it has become nick&i's fav. we have it allllll the time. it is SUPER easy, inexpensive and--hey--it's from cooking light. can't beat that! it's also my favorite go-to dish for when we have company for dinner. it seems like you've put waaaaay more work into than you really did and everyone always wants the recipe! you *have* to try this. it is really really delish.

brown butter gnocchi with spinach and pine nuts

* 1 (16-0z) pkg of vacuum packed gnocchi
* 2 T. butter
* 2 T. pinenuts (i add a little more for extra crunch)
* 2 garlic cloves, minced
* 1 (10-oz) pkg spinach, torn (i use baby spinach, then you can skip the ole tearing step)
* 1/4 t. salt
* 1/4 t. pepper
* 1/4 c. shredded parmesan cheese

- cook gnocchi according to instructions on package, omitting salt and fat.
-heat butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. add pinenuts to the pan and cook for 3 minutes, or until butter and nuts are lightly browned. stir constantly.
-add garlic to the pan, cook one minute.
-add gnocchi and spinach to the pan, cooking one minute or until the spinach wilts. stir constantly.
-stir in salt, pepper and parmesan cheese.

if you're serving this to company, you may want to double this recipe. i do. don't worry... it will all get eaten!

i serve this with a simple salad of greens and make my own dressing: 1 T. fresh lemon juice, 1 T. olive oil, 1 t. brown sugar, a splash of balsamic vinegar. season with salt and pepper. i also pair this meal with a bagette that i've warmed in the oven with a little plate of olive oil&balsamic vinegar sprinkled with garlic salt for dipping.

PERFECT. MEAL.
make it tonight.
the end.

in my daughter's eyes.

the house is quiet tonight. bella is sleeping and nick is at football practice. my feet are up on the coffee table. back aching. eyes tired. mind already thinking of tomorrow's "to do list". ahhh the life of a mom.

*

i can't think of a time in life where i was more thankful and more filled with joy than right. now. there's something about being a mom that is changing me at the core of who i am. things that used to matter so much in life don't seem to matter anymore. things that used to not matter as much are suddenly urgently brought to my attention. some plans fade. new dreams and desires take root. i am motivated for more. so. much. more.

*

more of jesus, first and foremost. i want him to be my number one love and i want to know him--intimately and fearlessly--in a way i have never known. not the angry-disappointed-in-me-watching-my-every-move-so-he-can-squash-me god i've known before... but the god who loves me. who really loves me. a fraction of the love i feel for my daughter. which is a whole lot. who truly wants to give me exceedingly and abundantly MORE than i could ask or imagine. may he be the song of my heart, the deepest joy of my soul. this is how i want god to be in bella's eyes.

*

more of my sweet husband, secondly. i want to build up nick to bella. i want her to know what an amazing *AMAZING* man her daddy is so that she will pick a man someday as wonderful as him. i want to always keep him first in my life (second to the lord) and not just put him on the back burner because i am busy caring for a new baby. or because i am too tired. i want him to know how proud of i am the man that he is and how incredibly blessed i am to be called his wife. i want him to know that i'm more in love with him today than the day we said "i do". a love that is deeper and more passionate than ever before. i want bella to know that marriage is important, that she is not the center of our world or our family. i want her to have a picture of a godly relationship that she can hopefully one day emulate. this is how i want nick and our marriage to be in bella's eyes.

*

and finally, my daughter. my sweet sweet bella grace. i want her to know--every single day--how much i love her. i want to continue to pray over her, to commit her back over to god, to raise her in a way that she will live out the meaning of her name... beautiful grace. i want her to see in me an example of the woman she wants to be. i want to love others well. i want to serve and take care of my family and those around me. i want to be someone that encourages and inspires others... that when people leave after spending time with me they feel blessed. i want to be confident and comfortable in my own skin. i want to not talk negatively about myself when other people compliment me. i want to trust god instead of give way to fear. i want my heart to be unwaveringly content. i want to find ways to use my gifts, and be corageous and bold enough to try creating new ones. i want anything that is beautiful about me to be the radiance of jesus.

*

this is how i want to be in my daughter's eyes.

maine...the way life should be.

if you've ever driven across the border into the state of maine, you are greeted with a sign that has one simple statement: maine...the way life should be. i would have to say (although i know i'm biased) that i agree wholeheartedly with this claim. i haven't lived there since i was eighteen, but go back every summer to it's rocky coastlines, dark blue lakes hidden among the thick pine forests and seafood..the best seafood you have ever tasted. it's been especially fun to bring nick up there to see where i grew up. maine has taken on such a special meaning for the two of us as well... we got engaged in acadia national park ontop of cadillac mountain at sunrise in september of 2007. we've spent christmases there. eaten meals late at night at the old truckstop down the street from the house where i grew up. gone sledding in the snow and walking along the beaches. we've eaten a lobster roll or two and on a beautiful spring day in may of 2008 we promised to love one another for a lifetime at an old inn on lucerne lake.

this summer we were able to bring our sweet bella up to maine for her first vacation... this is the first of many summers for her filled with ice cream cones & sticky fingers. sunny days spent on the seashore accompanied by buckets and sand. lighthouses. mornings on grammy&grampy's front porch. running through the lawn barefoot. though this summer did not include any of these activities since she is only two months old, so many precious memories were made. stepping off the plane, nick got to meet his nephew jude for this first time, and gret got to meet bella; something she's been waiting since may 19 to do! jude&bella got to "play" together, which consisted of us putting them in the crib together and taking pictures as they looked at each other (ok...jude more than bella), smiled and held hands. so. sweet. gret&brian, nick&i got to go to a wine tasting on a beautiful vineyard on the coast of maine... and good wine, too. the kind you would have to watch yourself as you drink it's that good. nick and brian got to climb mt katahdin, the tallest mountain in maine where the appalachian trail actually ends. let's just say gret and i were glad when our husbands were back on level ground with the rest of us. and then we had this crazy idea of us taking our kids to york beach, where we had vacationed every summer with mom&dad and our grandparents since i was twelve years old. sounds sentimental--and maybe someday it will be--today? not so much. it was fun to go back down memory lane, but somehow it seems more attractive maybe next year when we don't have to stop every five minutes to change someone's diaper or feed whichever baby is crying at the time. nevertheless, we will never forget it.

aside from all these memories, the best part of our trip was being with family. getting to watch my mom&dad as grammy and grampy to my precious daughter is so priceless. to see bella coo and smile at my sister...to get to make my nephew laugh and screech and watch him play with his big, bright eyes, laughter and chubbiness is joy beyond measure. i don't get to be with my family often, so when i do i savor every moment and capture them all in my mind so that i will always remember these times. showing nick all the places and people that are so special to me. drinking coffee with gret in rocking chairs on mom&dad's front porch in the rain. having family dinners on the back deck. holding hands with nick along the ocean's shore. going on double dates with gret and brian. seeing my mom and dad revel in being grandparents. these are all the things that make me love going back to maine. we don't get to go there often, i soak every minute in that i can when we do. these are the moments that i hope i never forget. moments that make life the way it should be. moments that are the reason for the name of this blog...my cup truly runneth over.