i just stepped out onto my porch to fetch my mail. it's been a long day. a long few days actually. father's day is never helpful when grieving the still recent loss of your father. it's been a day i've dreaded for the past seven months. while it ended up being a good day with family and friends, the ache of missing my father has been soul-crushing. yesterday my daughter threw several fits all day... the biggest tantrum she's ever had was at her doctor's office...infront of her pediatrician. the girls have been not napping so well these days--bella, not sleeping at all and emmy, choosing to nap at all times other than bella's "naptime". today, i'm still in my pajamas. no make up on, hair still damp from when i showered last night. i've been drowning in a sea of endless laundry, phone calls and trying to keep my house from being constantly strewn with toys.
and just when i need a reminder, it came.
a reminder that these days are precious. that the pajamas, the makeup-lessness, the weary housework, endless correction of a spirited toddler and caring for a newborn are priceless gifts. blessings that will soon be distant memories.
a former high school classmate was nudged by god to think of me, and she listened. not only did she listen, but she acted. she saw that i, like her, am a fan of ann voskamp and her book "one thousand gifts". a few years back, she had begun making birds nest necklaces for those whom the holy spirit would bring to her heart. when she felt prompted, she would mail them a necklace.
as i opened the envelope, i saw my necklace wrapped up in this page from an old hymnal, "safe in the arms of jesus". in a card, she writes:
"this nest is for you, with four eggs for your new family of four. it's just a little reminder to count our blessings, to remember what's truly important, to give purpose to our lives--to protect and nurture these families of ours! it's wrapped in a page from an old hymnal, chosen specifically for you...for your dad, who is safe in the arms of jesus. i have been incredibly touched by your pure honesty since your dad's passing... i didn't know him, but i am blessed by his life through all you've shared about him."
tears, tears and more tears.
what a perfect reminder that touches my heart in all the ways it needed to be touched today. missing my dad terribly. feeling insignifant as i change diapers, fold laundry and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. striving to be patient and gracious with my daughters. fear of losing other ones i love. wanting so much to savor this precious time... knowing that it is passing all too quickly.
what an inspiring reminder to think of others. to reach out to those around me when god puts them on my heart. to yield to the holy spirit's prompting. because somewhere, out there, there is another tired mama like me... just waiting to be reminded. needing to be encouraged.
she enclosed this quote from ann voskamp:
"i watch the hands move grace on the clock face. i'm growing older. these children growing up. but time is not running out. this day is not a sieve, losing time. with each passing minute, each passing year, there's this deepening awareness that i am filling, gaining time. we stand on the brink of eternity. count blessings and discover who can be counted on. can god be counted on? count your blessings and find out how many of his bridges have already held."
is there someone god has put on your heart today? don't wait. encourage them. because you can be assured they need it. and what a blessing you could be to someone else's heart.
