dear emmy.

dear emmy,

i just can't squeeze you enough.

you are just sweeter by the second.  so happy, so content.  a couple weeks ago, i took you to the doctor for your six month appointment.  you had been a little fussy at night, but i had no reason to suspect anything.  upon a routine check of your ears, dr. ann told me you had a double ear infection!  i couldn't believe it.  just the day before you had hung out with meme and auntie for a bit and they were commenting on how happy you were.

you little monkey!

you've been sitting like a champ for about a month now.  you love being on the floor, playing with your toys. you would be content to do that for hours, i think.  it's especially fun for you right now because I put you on the floor right infront of the christmas tree.  you're getting good at grabbing for things that look like they'd be way out of your reach... the other day you pulled the tree skirt almost completely off and started going for the bead garland strung on our tree.  good thing i caught you in time!  you love your jumper too and go quite crazy in it at times!  you make lots of funny noises with your mouth and you're constantly grunting or chatting away.

this weekend you went on your first girls getaway with meme, auntie and lucy.  you girls were angels.  such good little shoppers; i was so proud of you!  you saw your first snow... you loved looking at it out of the back window in the car.  you love your sister so so much.  i was talking to her on the phone while we were on our trip and the first thing she said was "how's emmy?" so i put the phone up to your ear and i could hear her saying "hi emmy!" your face light right up and you got so excited and kept pulling away to look into the phone, wanting to see bella.  it was so cute.  i got tears in my eyes.

you've started sleeping every night with a little lovie and it's so cute.  you love snuggling with it.  the other night when daddy and i checked on you, it was covering up your whole head!  you don't move much in your sleep; you pretty much stay right where we lay you in the crib.  i keep waiting for you to discover sleeping on your belly, but you're pretty content to just stay put.  your thumb has also started to get raw from you sucking it!  it is definitely one of your favorite things.  and mine too.  i love how your sweet little eyes peek at me from above your fist, your thumb in mouth.

i've been thinking about you being my belly so much lately.  last week was the one year anniversary of bampy's death.  you didn't know him, but he loved you so much.  i can't tell you, emmy, how sad i feel about you not getting to have a relationship with him.  he loved being a grandfather so so much.  i remember the day we told him bella was going to be a big sister, and that you were coming.  he just could not believe it.  i can still see his eyes, wide with excitement and hear the disbelief in his voice.  two grandbabies--you and lucy--within a month of each other.  when his health turned for the worse, you were such a comfort to me, sweet girl.  i remember being in the hospital on many tearful visits and i'd feel you wiggling in my belly.  it was such a reminder that god was good even in such dark times.  he never knew that you were going to be a girl, but i am so confident he knows your pretty little face.  we will tell you all about him.  even though he's not still here, i promise that you will still be blessed by who he was.

i am just so grateful for you, my sweet pea.  i love making memories with you.  you are one of the biggest joys of my life.

love you to the moon and back (and back again),
mama