bottle it up.

sometimes i wish...

i could take moments of life and fill them in a bottle. one that i could always keep. and when i wanted to remember these things, i could have them right there to live again whenever i wanted.

i've always been like this. nostalgic. wanting to savor moments. but becoming a mama has made me want it more.

inside that bottle, i would put:

the silky feel of bella's hair tickling my nose as i kiss her head, and the clean smell of her shampoo after a bath.

the ins and outs of her breathing, her little belly rising and falling, as she snuggles next to me.

hearing he say "mama! mama! mama!" over and over in the car just to know i'm there.

watching her run up our walkway after nick until he scoops her up in his arms. watching them together and knowing my heart could burst it is filled with so much love.

when she grabs her play purse, keys and lipstick and walks toward the door yelling "bye!" to nick and i. and the tug of sadness my heart feels knowing someday we will be telling her bye when she leaves our home, and it won't be pretend... but oh-so-real.

hearing her tiny, sweet voice try to sing the "itsy bitsy spider" and her precious little hands trying to form the motions.

her unprompted kisses.

when nick and i say "bella, how much to mama and daddy love you? to the moon..." and hearing her say "and back!"

when her soft, tiny hand grasps on to mine as i read her stories.

watching her suck all of the maple syrup off of her waffles and pancakes and then asking for more--syrup, not waffles or pancakes.

hearing her sweet giggles.

nick praying for her before bed, and how she constantly interrupts saying "eye" while pointing to my eye, or "nose" while pointing to my nose. and how i try to stifle my laughter since we are praying, but how i fail every time.

how she loves to brush her teeth with her elmo & abby toothbrush. and how she promptly sits on her bum (i make her lest she be running all around) knowing then i will give it to her.

cupping her sweet face in my hand, feeling the warm softness of her cheeks, and telling her just how much i love her.

these are the things i wish i could bottle up forever and never forget. every time i see a baby girl i can't help but stare, with a smile on my face, thinking "where has the time gone?" my girl is not so much a baby anymore... and i wish with all my heart i could hold time in place and treasure all of these moments.

so i will continue to write these things down, continue to sneak into her room to steal moments just watching her peacefully sleep, continue to tell her over and over again how much i love her, continue to take pictures of her in my mind so i don't forget.

lord, may i never forget these days.