love so amazing.

"when i survey the wondrous cross,

on which the prince of glory died;

my richest gain i count by loss,

and pour contempt on all my pride.

forbid it, lord, that i should boast,

save in the death of christ my god;

all the vain things that charm me most,

i sacrifice them to his blood.

see from his head, his hands, his feet,

sorrow and love flow mingled down.

did e'er such love and sorrow meet,

or thorns compose so rich a crown.

were the whole realm of nature mine,

that were an offering far too small;

love so amazing, so divine,

demands my soul, my life, my ALL."

(when i survey the wondrous cross, isaac watts, 1707)

one of my new favorite things to do is tip toe into bella's room late at night when every one else is asleep. her room is dark and quiet, except for the gentle woosh drifting from her sound machine. i gently lift her from her crib, and she stirs only for a moment before resting her head on my shoulder and circling her chubby arm around my neck. covering her with her soft baby blanket, i take my place in the rocking chair in the corner of her room and we gently sway together as i savor the rhythm of her breathing, the feel of her soft cheek against mine.

i treasure these moments.

as i watch her sleep on my chest, i am overwhelmed by my love for my sweet daughter. i whisper prayers of hope and blessing over her, wanting everything good for her. wanting to provide for her, keep her safe, and blanket her in my love.

as i gaze adoringly at my baby girl, memorizing the dark line of her lashes as they fall on her cheek, the pout of her lips, the messiness of her hair, i know i want to remember everything about her the way she is right now. i also realize that she is absolutely oblivious to my admiration at this very moment. completely unable to fully grasp just how much i love her.

and then, i think about god.

how many times does he adoringly gaze at me, memorizing everything about me... and i don't even notice? how often does he whisper "i love you" and i don't hear his voice?

psalm 139 says: "your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. how precious to me are your thoughts, o god! how vast is the sum of them! were i to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. when i awake, i am still with you."

today, on good friday, we as christians remember the love of jesus. a love we can't even fathom, grace we cannot understand. how should this love transform me? the way i think about myself, the way i think about others... the way i think about my heavenly father?

"when i survey the wondrous cross" is one of my favorite hymns. it tells of christ's love and sacrifice so beautifully, and begs us to ask what our response should be. love so amazing, so divine... demands my soul, my life, my all. the fact is, christ's love and the knowledge of his sacrifice for us should stir something deep within us. it should cause us to react--not because we have to--but because that love is just what issac watts wrote: so amazing, so divine.

so today, i'm reveling in my Father's love for me. i'm letting him hold me, and whisper his words of love, hope and blessing to me. i'm choosing to be aware of just how much he thinks about me. and i'm praying that i will be changed by this truth.

happy easter, everyone! may you know and experience his love and allow it to change you from the inside out.