so i'm feeling particularly nostalgic at the moment. it's june 19th; my baby girl is one month old today. it's hard to believe that it has been a month, and yet at the same time it's hard to imagine our life without her. our life used to be a lot more carefree, yes. we could go to chili's at eleven oclock at night for a chips and salsa date (without having to arrange a babysitter first) or even run to the grocery store on a whim (without having to carry around a carseat--why do they make those things so freaking heavy?! or pack up the diaper bag). yes, our life was much simpler a month ago. but then again... we didn't know the feeling of cuddling with a newborn as she slept. we didn't get to watch each other love and care for this little person that god created through us. pretty amazing. a month ago we didn't know the crazy-haired, chubby cheeked, flailing arms-and-legs-baby that we now know as our daughter. yeah... she's pretty great.
so i've been wanting to document her "birth story" ever since we left the hospital. blame it on me watching "a baby story" on tlc faithfully up until her birth or just me being nostalgic again, but i don't want to forget a second of what that experience was like. so bear with me... this will be my longest post by far! here we go...
i love how everyone tells you to make sure you get a good nights sleep before you go to the hospital to be induced. really?? have these people ever had a baby before?? so much anticipation, nervousness and excitement. nick & i had to be at the hospital at 5 am on the morning of Wednesday, May 19th. i think i feel asleep at 1 and woke up at 3 with all of these thoughts and emotions rolling around in my brain. i still remember the feeling of leaving our house (i had to make sure it was spotless and everything was put into place... couldn't bare the thought of bella seeing her house in such a mess!) and nick & i giddy with excitement at the thought then when we returned we would have our daughter! we made it to the hospital and to my surprise i was really very calm and not very nervous. enter: genius nurse, as nick referred to her. after getting situated in my room and dressed in the oh-so-stylish hospital gown that i had to wear, genius nurse goes to give me an IV and instead completely blows my vein which we had to ice the whole time i was in labor it was so swollen and incredibly painful. i really think that was the most painful part of the whole birthing experience. now, this either makes me sound like a huge wuss OR tells you really what a great delivery i had (and it really is the latter... i promise; it hurt soooooo bad.) i was already dialated 5 cm and having contractions, none of which were very painful and i was thankful to be halfway through!
luckily genius nurse's shift was up at 7, and in came alison, our wonderful nurse who helped bring bella into the world! she was such a blessing. at 7:30 dr. moser came in and broke my water (to which nick exclaimed later "what happened to your belly? it deflated!") what i really remember about this time is that i was STARVING and super thirsty. i hadn't eaten or drank anything since 11 oclock the night before. nick's mom and sister showed up at the hospital around 8 with a breakfast sandwich for nick, which he politely ate in the waiting room since i didn't think i would be able to handle the smell -or- sight of food at that moment. i got my *first* epidural at 9ish... yes, i did say first. it never made anything on my body numb, and they kept asking me if i could feel my contractions, which i did, so they decided i should have another one administered. ouch. not so much the needle part, but the whole ripping-the-tape-from-my-neck-to-my-lower-back-thing... yeah, ouch. again, probably even more than the contractions. after my second epidural, i could rest and nick and i dozed off and on as we visited some with his mom and sister and watched a bit of fox news...we had to stay ontop of the day's current events, right? and yes, grampy brewster was very proud that his granddaughter was delivered with the conservative news station playing in the background.
around noon i began to feel some discomfort and pressure that i hadn't felt before... i started worrying that it was the epidural not working, but when i told the nurse about it she checked me again and announced that i was fully dialated! then i began to panic a bit... just for a few minutes... the pushing was about to start and we were going to meet bella!! dr. moser was in with another patient delivering their baby, and asked the nurse to hold me off until one before we started pushing. i remember looking at the clock and thinking "this is going to be the looooongest hour of my life." finally, around 12:30 i begged them to let me start; i didn't think my body could resist any longer. my request was granted and we began pushing. nick was on one side holding one leg and our nurse alison on the other. can i just take a minute and say how much i fell in love with my husband allll over again that day?? he jumped right into "coach mode" and stood there, counting for my pushing, cheering me on, telling me how proud he was of me, and feeding me ice chips. yes. he was amazing. i couldn't have done it without him! alison asked me 1. if i wanted a mirror to watch... NO WAY and 2. if i wanted to touch the head...ummmm... no thanks. i pushed for about an hour when finally our nurse called in dr. moser... it was go time. nurses began coming in to set up everything for bella's delivery. with dr. moser in place, i pushed about three more sets of contractions when dr. moser told me with the next push, we would meet our daughter to which i questioned "are you sure?!" everyone kept telling me how great i was doing, but there was still no baby. i had to be convinced that she REALLY was about to come. so finally, i told them i needed to push and gave it all. i. had. and there she was. i had told jessica, my sister-in-law that morning that i hoped she be here by 2... at 1:57 bella grace cornwell entered the world (thanks for listening to your mama, bel!) weighing 7 lbs, 12 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. i'm tearing up just writing this... she was absolutely *beautiful*. i knew i would think she was beautiful because she was my daughter, but i had no idea what it would feel like to have her placed on my chest for the first time. instant love. it was amazing. i just started crying and saying over and over "this is my baby!" yeah... i was pretty incoherant at that point! i looked at nick and he had tears in his eyes. this. was. incredible. the nurses and doctors tended to me and bella, nick got to hold his baby girl too and then his mom and sister came in to hold her followed by camille, kristin, ashley and stella. i'm pretty sure there was still blood on the floor when our friends and family came in to hold her... i love that so many people were there to share this moment with us!
they took bella to bathe her and left nick & i with the nurses as they continued to take care of me and then wheeled me to our new post-partum room. there we had bella's first little birthday party with nick's mom and dad, sister and brother-in-law and nephew, brother and sister-in-law, matt and camille, candace, kristin, mike and ashley, cody and holly and mike and jess. we passed bella around the room and nick and i ate sushi--glorious sushi--for the first time in nine months. after everyone left, the three of us skyped with grammy and grampy in maine and they got to meet their granddaughter for the first time, too. such a precious moment. such an amazing day. i fell in love with my husband all over again... he nurtured me and took care of me in a way i had never experienced before... he said he saw the "tough high school basketball player side" of me that he had never seen before. and i fell in love with my new baby girl...and am growing to love her more and more every single day.
as i close, i'm looking at my sweet bella grace asleep in her swing and remember the first time i saw her all over again. i wonder if i'll remember that moment the day i send her to kindegarten for the first time. or the day we drop her off at college. or when i help her get ready on her wedding day. i hope i do.
we love you, bella grace. you have stolen our hearts! happy month of life.
so i've been wanting to document her "birth story" ever since we left the hospital. blame it on me watching "a baby story" on tlc faithfully up until her birth or just me being nostalgic again, but i don't want to forget a second of what that experience was like. so bear with me... this will be my longest post by far! here we go...
i love how everyone tells you to make sure you get a good nights sleep before you go to the hospital to be induced. really?? have these people ever had a baby before?? so much anticipation, nervousness and excitement. nick & i had to be at the hospital at 5 am on the morning of Wednesday, May 19th. i think i feel asleep at 1 and woke up at 3 with all of these thoughts and emotions rolling around in my brain. i still remember the feeling of leaving our house (i had to make sure it was spotless and everything was put into place... couldn't bare the thought of bella seeing her house in such a mess!) and nick & i giddy with excitement at the thought then when we returned we would have our daughter! we made it to the hospital and to my surprise i was really very calm and not very nervous. enter: genius nurse, as nick referred to her. after getting situated in my room and dressed in the oh-so-stylish hospital gown that i had to wear, genius nurse goes to give me an IV and instead completely blows my vein which we had to ice the whole time i was in labor it was so swollen and incredibly painful. i really think that was the most painful part of the whole birthing experience. now, this either makes me sound like a huge wuss OR tells you really what a great delivery i had (and it really is the latter... i promise; it hurt soooooo bad.) i was already dialated 5 cm and having contractions, none of which were very painful and i was thankful to be halfway through!
luckily genius nurse's shift was up at 7, and in came alison, our wonderful nurse who helped bring bella into the world! she was such a blessing. at 7:30 dr. moser came in and broke my water (to which nick exclaimed later "what happened to your belly? it deflated!") what i really remember about this time is that i was STARVING and super thirsty. i hadn't eaten or drank anything since 11 oclock the night before. nick's mom and sister showed up at the hospital around 8 with a breakfast sandwich for nick, which he politely ate in the waiting room since i didn't think i would be able to handle the smell -or- sight of food at that moment. i got my *first* epidural at 9ish... yes, i did say first. it never made anything on my body numb, and they kept asking me if i could feel my contractions, which i did, so they decided i should have another one administered. ouch. not so much the needle part, but the whole ripping-the-tape-from-my-neck-to-my-lower-back-thing... yeah, ouch. again, probably even more than the contractions. after my second epidural, i could rest and nick and i dozed off and on as we visited some with his mom and sister and watched a bit of fox news...we had to stay ontop of the day's current events, right? and yes, grampy brewster was very proud that his granddaughter was delivered with the conservative news station playing in the background.
around noon i began to feel some discomfort and pressure that i hadn't felt before... i started worrying that it was the epidural not working, but when i told the nurse about it she checked me again and announced that i was fully dialated! then i began to panic a bit... just for a few minutes... the pushing was about to start and we were going to meet bella!! dr. moser was in with another patient delivering their baby, and asked the nurse to hold me off until one before we started pushing. i remember looking at the clock and thinking "this is going to be the looooongest hour of my life." finally, around 12:30 i begged them to let me start; i didn't think my body could resist any longer. my request was granted and we began pushing. nick was on one side holding one leg and our nurse alison on the other. can i just take a minute and say how much i fell in love with my husband allll over again that day?? he jumped right into "coach mode" and stood there, counting for my pushing, cheering me on, telling me how proud he was of me, and feeding me ice chips. yes. he was amazing. i couldn't have done it without him! alison asked me 1. if i wanted a mirror to watch... NO WAY and 2. if i wanted to touch the head...ummmm... no thanks. i pushed for about an hour when finally our nurse called in dr. moser... it was go time. nurses began coming in to set up everything for bella's delivery. with dr. moser in place, i pushed about three more sets of contractions when dr. moser told me with the next push, we would meet our daughter to which i questioned "are you sure?!" everyone kept telling me how great i was doing, but there was still no baby. i had to be convinced that she REALLY was about to come. so finally, i told them i needed to push and gave it all. i. had. and there she was. i had told jessica, my sister-in-law that morning that i hoped she be here by 2... at 1:57 bella grace cornwell entered the world (thanks for listening to your mama, bel!) weighing 7 lbs, 12 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. i'm tearing up just writing this... she was absolutely *beautiful*. i knew i would think she was beautiful because she was my daughter, but i had no idea what it would feel like to have her placed on my chest for the first time. instant love. it was amazing. i just started crying and saying over and over "this is my baby!" yeah... i was pretty incoherant at that point! i looked at nick and he had tears in his eyes. this. was. incredible. the nurses and doctors tended to me and bella, nick got to hold his baby girl too and then his mom and sister came in to hold her followed by camille, kristin, ashley and stella. i'm pretty sure there was still blood on the floor when our friends and family came in to hold her... i love that so many people were there to share this moment with us!
they took bella to bathe her and left nick & i with the nurses as they continued to take care of me and then wheeled me to our new post-partum room. there we had bella's first little birthday party with nick's mom and dad, sister and brother-in-law and nephew, brother and sister-in-law, matt and camille, candace, kristin, mike and ashley, cody and holly and mike and jess. we passed bella around the room and nick and i ate sushi--glorious sushi--for the first time in nine months. after everyone left, the three of us skyped with grammy and grampy in maine and they got to meet their granddaughter for the first time, too. such a precious moment. such an amazing day. i fell in love with my husband all over again... he nurtured me and took care of me in a way i had never experienced before... he said he saw the "tough high school basketball player side" of me that he had never seen before. and i fell in love with my new baby girl...and am growing to love her more and more every single day.
as i close, i'm looking at my sweet bella grace asleep in her swing and remember the first time i saw her all over again. i wonder if i'll remember that moment the day i send her to kindegarten for the first time. or the day we drop her off at college. or when i help her get ready on her wedding day. i hope i do.
we love you, bella grace. you have stolen our hearts! happy month of life.
I love this, Megan! What a beautiful birth story. Oh, I want to see that Bella again!!!
ReplyDeleteIf the post about Dads didn't make me cry, this one sure did. You should check out www.designmom.com she recently had a baby, and she posted a birth story everyday during her last few months of pregnancy from friends and fellow bloggers. They are beautiful!
ReplyDelete